So, you’re browsing the top hookup apps or you’re out and about, looking for a good time.
You meet someone new and sparks fly. Things are getting hot and before you know it, you’ve entered hookup territory.
But then…BAM! Caught feelings.
Suddenly, the carefree fun of a casual hookup is over and you’re stuck trying to figure out what to do.
Don’t worry, we’ve got you.
Follow our list of 12 steps to avoid catching feelings in a hookup so that you can keep your cool and have some fun without drama or confusion.
1. Check Your Expectations at the Door
It’s important to remember that a hookup is just that – a casual encounter, nothing more.
Don’t go into it expecting the other person to be your new boyfriend or girlfriend, otherwise, you could end up disappointed or hurt. And who needs that?
Instead, go into the hookup with an open mind and no expectations. It’s one of the benefits of casual scenarios after all!
If you end up falling for your casual partner, you can take some breathing room or walk away with no regrets.
As we mentioned in our Bumble hookup app review, many modern dating apps have options for you to clearly indicate if you’re looking for hookups over love.
2. Don’t Talk About Your Feelings, Exes, Work, etc.
In order to avoid catching feelings, keep your emotional vulnerability at a minimum. That means not opening up about your inner life too much, a.k.a maintaining your boundaries.
If you start discussing how much you like each other, work turmoil or family drama, it’ll only bring you closer and that’s not what we’re here to do.
Don’t talk about your exes, either! This can lead down a slippery slope of unwanted emotions, and nobody wants that.
Keep it lighthearted and fun by talking about things like pop culture or current events. Or don’t talk at all and just get straight to business.
No one’s going to judge you for that.
3. Don’t Spend the Night (Unless You Have To)
If you don’t spend the night, you’re less likely to develop an attachment to them. Otherwise, extended hours together in a cozy bed is basically asking for complications.
Sleepovers are for thirteen-year-old girls and their best friend’s birthday parties, not for adults trying to keep their emotions in check.
So, the less intimacy, the better.
If you’re worried about logistics, don’t be. Have a plan in mind beforehand, whether you have somewhere to be afterward or you make something up on the spot.
Are they pushy? Remember you don’t owe them a sleepover… it’s a casual hookup!
4. Have an Excuse Ready as a Safety Net
Unfortunately, things do happen. Maybe you’re hanging out one day and things are starting to feel more serious than they should be.
Regardless of whose side it’s coming from, having an excuse in your pocket works as a safety net in this scenario. Anything to help you get out of there and calm down before things go wrong.
It can be anything, really.
I have work in the morning. I have to pick up my kids. My dog needs a walk.
Whatever it is, just make sure it sounds valid.
This might seem heartless, but it’ll save you the headache of wading through a potentially very awkward situation.
5. Avoid Too Much Physical Affection
Physical contact turns into emotional contact, which, again, we don’t really want in a casual hookup. So, try to avoid overdoing it, as tempting as it may seem.
This includes cuddling, hand-holding, kissing, and backrubs, among other forms of physical affection that aren’t just straight-up sex.
Once the sex is over, don’t be getting all intimate and cuddly.
6. Don’t Exchange Gifts (Especially if They’re Good)
Exchanging gifts with a special someone is a surefire way to make that bond stronger and in a casual scenario, it’s not a great idea.
Especially if the gifts are actually good.
If your casual hookup attempts to offer gifts or other tokens of affection, politely decline. It could be a sign they want more, but if not, it’s still a safe call.
7. Avoid Discussing Future Plans (You Don’t Have Any)
You shouldn’t make plans for what will happen next week, month, or even the next day.
Instead, focus on what you’re there to do, which is enjoying the moment and taking things minute by minute.
You’re in it for a good time… not a partner to make plans with.
8. Say No To Traditional Date Nights
The line between a date night and evening booty call can get a bit blurry.
Some people just can’t resist the temptation of going out for an adventurous date, but you aren’t here to bond over your love of craft beer.
You’re here to have sex and that’s it.
So, stick to the subject at hand and save your efforts and money while you’re at it.
9. Say “No” To Exclusivity
This should go without saying.
If you want to avoid getting too attached to the person you’re hooking up with, then don’t be exclusive with them.
You aren’t here for commitment, nor do you want to put all your eggs in one basket.
If your hookup asks about your dating status, make it clear that you’re not into a monogamous relationship. That way, they’ll also know they should avoid attachment.
Don’t let them think they’re the only one for you and that you won’t be seeing anyone else, even if you’re not on the prowl. Otherwise, they might think there’s a chance which will only lead to disappointment.
10. Don’t EVER Meet Their Friends or Family
Avoid meeting their friends and family members if at all possible and vice versa. This is especially true if you’ve only been hooking up with them for a short amount of time.
Introducing someone to your loved ones often signals you’re taking things to the next level, and there’s no next level with hookups.
That’s the whole point.
Keep things casual that way, there won’t be any pressure on either of you and you can continue hooking up without any strings attached.
11. Don’t Label Your Relationship
One of the best things about casual relationships is that you don’t have to have “the talk”.
You know, the “what are we?” talk that often includes unnecessary drama and/or hurt feelings.
Yeah, that one.
When you’re hooking up with someone, there’s simply no need for it.
Even labels like “hooking up” or “friends with benefits” might complicate things.
Instead, just go with the flow and let it be what it is. That way, you can focus on what really matters. The sex.
The sex is what really matters.
12. Enjoy Yourself!
At the end of the day, you’re only human. You’re going to catch feelings sometimes and that’s okay. The most important thing is to enjoy yourself and have fun along the way.
Don’t be thirsty or desperate, and you’ll be fine. Browse the best hookup sites with confidence!
Hookups are meant to be fun and carefree. However, if you find yourself getting too attached, it may be time for a quick reset.
Maybe spend the evening browsing the best OnlyFans accounts to get your sexual kicks elsewhere.
Evaluate your situation and see where you can draw a line. Then, start fresh with our 12 steps to avoid catching unwanted feelings in the future.
Most importantly, good luck out there. Hooking up can be challenging, but it can also be so worth it. Keep your head clear, your eyes open, and your options plentiful.