Romantic relationships are everywhere you look these days. Whether fuck buddies or lovers, we see everything from intimate relations in movies and books to public displays of affection at the train station every day.
There’s a willingness and openness to discuss sexuality and sexually related topics more nowadays. Young adults all over the world have more information about love and sexual intimacy available to them.
Children through sex-ed, and adults are well enlightened on a more traditional form of intimacy. A few decades ago it was not so. The world was more shy and conservative about topics around sex and intimacy, but these modern times have brought us one better.
With the advent of the internet and cutting-edge mobile technology, people around the world, beyond being more expressive about sex, can now enjoy sexual intimacy with each other on another level.
Think of modern intimacy as technologically fostered intimacy among couples, partners, and people in general. It is a wide scope inclusive of adult websites, dating websites, virtual reality, social media, video chats, and sex toys, among many others.
Impact of Modern Intimacy on Couples
Many relationships in modern times are experiencing a new kind of intimacy that is facilitated by the use and availability of technology, round the clock. Due to the incorporation of technology in many aspects of daily life, as we know it, an advantage of modern intimacy quickly becomes apparent.
Unlike in the past, couples and people in a relationship don’t need to wait to be physically present before they can enjoy intimate relations with their loved ones.
Together, communications technology and sex tech have opened up new possibilities in the interactions between couples. The barrier of distance and proximity has been overcome through media and some high-end tech devices that are lifelike in action.
Modern Intimacy has birthed a rise in the number of interracial couples worldwide. In Europe, Asia, and every other continent of the world, more people are daring to find love online regardless of where in the world their partners may be, because of the assurance that the tools to effectively communicate and share love and affection are readily available.
Partners in a relationship can keep whole conversations going for hours through video call apps like Skype, and the exchange would feel just as real for participants as if in person. They can also use social network sites to chat, make plans and discuss ideas. If it can be communicated at all, partners can discuss them via social networks and achieve their desired results.
Modern Intimacy has also afforded more people the chance to pursue jobs and opportunities anywhere in the world, without sacrificing their romantic relationships. Think software engineers, athletes and performers, and delegates.
One thing the Covid 19 Pandemic and the subsequent lockdown in many states and cities taught the world, is that the world is truly a global village and that significant Interactions can be had in real-time using technological tools, no matter the weight of the conversations being had.
The world has since caught on. Many companies embraced a modification in some of their policies to accommodate this global change. Couples and partners were not left out either. Simply put, modern intimacy is changing the nature of intimacy between partners, strengthening it to be more feasible in the world at this time.
Technology and the Evolution of Modern Intimate Relations
The two main branches of technology that have most impacted modern intimate relations are communications technology and sex tech. Communications technology, beyond enabling verbal interaction between couples, has evolved to a place where couples can enjoy fulfilling sexual experiences with one another across a distance.
Everything from sexting and phone sex, to video sex, is possible and can be done safely. A possible argument is, “why the hassle?” “wouldn’t it be better to engage in intimate relations with people in close proximity?”
The answer is that the heart wants what it wants, and sometimes what it wants is the person that is hundreds of miles away. If one does decide to use the tools available to be intimate with their partner, here are some ways to do this.
- Using a VPN: a Virtual private network conceals your tracks in cyberspace, hiding your IP address. This is a good idea for couples that want to enjoy video sex or nude exposures of any sort because it greatly reduces the chances of a hack.
- No faces: while a lot of regulations have been put in place to make the use of the internet safe for everyone, cyberspace is still a place where one needs to be careful, even when enjoying sexual interactions with a partner. A no-faces policy is huge leverage that can come in handy for the future.
- If you must get kinky over a distance, ensure to use encrypted video and messaging apps.
Sex tech has improved greatly over the last few years. Whether alone or with a partner, lovers can now enjoy sexual intimacy physically or over a distance.
The release of cutting-edge couples’ sex toys into the market and the interaction between these toys have made the simulation of sex possible, or at the very least, created an excellent mutual masturbating experience.
Some of these sex toys are a crowd favorite. They are used publicly in videos on adult websites, privately in homes and leisure places, and can be purchased quite easily online.
ALSO READ: Best Male Sex Toys
A Few Sex Toys Worthy of Mentioning
- Ohmibod Esca 2: this sex toy is an amazing vibrator. It can be connected via its app to your partner’s toy, for an unlimited sexual experience. It is a good one for long-distance couples.
- Lelo Smart Wand: The wand is quite intuitive and is pretty easy to use. Whether as a massager or a sex toy, this piece of tech is ready to go. It uses touch sensor technology and turns on the moment it touches the body. It turns off when it leaves the body, and it also increases its vibration intensity the harder one presses on it.
- Lovely 2.0: This device is a vibrating cock ring, fitness equipment, and a memory device altogether. The device learns your sexual preference and your partner’s sexual preference and adjusts accordingly. It also records the number of calories burned during sex. When connected to the Lovely 2.0 app, this sex toy can be controlled from anywhere in the world.
40 Facts About How Modern Intimacy Is Evolving Relationships
- More younger men are having virtual sex than women: A study of French people under 30 showed that 3 of every 5 men and almost half of all women have had sex virtually with their partner. Sexy time doesn’t always have to be in person. This is arguably one of the huge realizations of modern times. Suffice it to say there’s no going back, considering the percentage of young adults already participating in it.
- 1 in 10 adults met their partner through dating apps: A 2018 survey of people between the ages of 18 – 29 revealed that an overall 10 percent of people met their partners through dating sites or apps.A few Popular names like Tinder, eHarmony, Bumble, and OkCupid, have thousands of people registered, being matched, and going on dates. These dating websites and apps are also daily working to improve the experience of users.Relationships are no longer dependent solely on the traditional method of meeting people within one’s circle. Single people can now cast a wider net and possibly find better-suited partners.
- 30 percent of people in their 30s are currently using online dating apps: A survey among people in the United States revealed that 3 out of 10 internet users between the ages of 18 and 29 are currently using online dating apps.Swiping right is a new culture, or swiping left as the case may be. Say what you would about how impersonal and mechanical it may feel, but the truth is that young adults are developing the ability to know who precisely suits them with continued use. In any case, starting and sustaining a romantic relationship online for an extended period without physical contact is totally possible.
- Getting freaky in the metaverse: since it came to light in 1992 many imaginations have run wild at the possibilities of the metaverse, and yes! People in the metaverse can have sex. A study by Statista in July of 2022 revealed that at least 2 in 10 people would play adult games that contained extreme sex.While this seems to have no physical or physiological benefit on the humans themselves, save for the fact that sexual interactions happened in the metaverse, it solidifies the emotional bond in relationships when couples play together, having that as a projection of what they have in the physical world.
- 12 percent of people enjoy dating online: Tidio surveyed 1,191 people and 12 percent of them said that they are satisfied with their online dating experience.52 percent of the respondents also claimed to use dating apps regularly. Dating websites and apps are in use more than many may realize.
- Social media is the best memory log: Before the gods blessed us with Social media, lovers, friends, and family could only relive fond moments through printed pictures, and when those were gone or misplaced, some of our fondest moments lived on according to the integrity of human memory. It’s all in the cloud these days. Our fondest memories are in display photos and social media profiles, as pictures and videos, stored on seemingly eternal servers.An interesting study conducted between October 2020 and March 2022 showed that most people spend at least 45 minutes on social apps daily. At that rate, the good times are always before our eyes and can impact partners’ behaviors in relationships.
- Teledildonics has been discussed for more than two decades: Teledildonics is a term used for virtual sex. It is also known as cyber dildonics and is simply the use of technological devices, media, and communication technology to extend and simulate human sexual relations.The term was made popular by tech writer Howard Rheingold in 1991 when he discussed it in his book “virtual reality”. The conversation on virtual or remote sex has continued ever since.
- Remote sex feels just as good: With millions of sex toys being used all over the world and the advancement of sex tech, couple sex toys can now be connected via apps. Sex toys are now so advanced and can transmit impulses and stimulation from one toy to another, making it possible for couples to be sexually intimate across a distance.
- More than 50 percent of adults are confident they’ll find love through online dating sites and apps: It’s 2022 and Romeos don’t need to look over and beyond anymore. A French study on romantic relationships revealed that more than 5 in 10 adults think they can find their soulmates through dating sites or dating apps.Mathematically, this population of people may be right, considering that the internet provides a connection to a larger number of potential partners than traditional means. Crazy to think that one could be but a cute picture and a fun bio away from their soulmates.
- 4 in 10 people agree that social media makes them feel closer to their family and friends: The photos and videos that loved ones upload say more than a thousand words, and while looks can be deceiving, social media still goes a long way in keeping family and friends informed. Features like geo-tagging and upload timestamps can help couples know where their significant other is at times, and that they are up and active.
- Mobile communication devices keep the conversation going: Based on a 2014 Ipsos study, 66 percent of people affirmed that they enjoyed constant communication with their friends and family due to communication technology, a major tech development of the last few decades.Using their mobile phones, conversations can continue between partners in a relationship even when they are not physically present together, creating an illusion of perpetual togetherness. This is reassuring for people in relationships that there are no breaks in the verbal and nonverbal expressions of love and that there are no breaks in the resolution of conflicts.
- More than 5 in 10 people say that technology devices make them feel more connected: About 53 percent of French people in a study agree that technology devices help them be more connected.
It is in the telepathy between you and your TV when using the remote. It’s in how cooks feel control over food items when using a food processor. So, there’s little to be said of what couples that use couple vibrators feel.
- Estimations predict a record high number of sex-tech devices by 2025: according to Statista, estimations from research predict that as many as 118 million sex-tech devices are expected to be in use worldwide by 2025. Suffice it to say, the world is buzzing. Nothing is off the table. Everything from connected vibrators for couples to sex dolls is being used. More people are utilizing modern tech to fulfilling their sexual needs.
- Women, more than men, consider sex with a Robot cheating: with the rate of technological advancement, the world is ever close to the perfect near-life sex robot. However, women are not having it.In a survey by YouGov, of the 32 percent of people that would consider it cheating if their partner had sex with a robot, results showed that women were more likely than men to see sexual relations with a robot as cheating.
- 24 percent of homosexual women use electronic devices with their partners during sex: according to research published by Statista, the share of homosexual women who use electronic devices with their partners during sex is about 2 in 10. The highest among homosexual men, homosexual women, and heterosexual women.
- Teen couples have a higher affinity for Modern tech: A 2018 survey of Hungarian teens between the ages of 14 and 18 showed that about 50 percent of teenagers think that modern technology significantly makes it easier to have and sustain a romantic relationship.This survey tends to agree with logic seeing that most teenagers are in the care of one or multiple guardians anyway, and would require the permission of their guardians as regards certain desires or actions in their romantic relationship.
- Millions of Americans have at least one sex toy: according to Statista, about 163 million 18-plus Americans own at least one sex toy. A number big enough to account for the 34 billion dollar sex toy market, seeing as most Americans in the previous year have spent more than a hundred dollars on sex toys. Judging by these stats, owning a sex toy is now practically accepted culture among sexually active adults.
- More than 50 percent of lovers share passwords: in a study by Pew Research on online couples sharing accounts, online couples showed to share passwords the most.Another 38 percent of couples who had been together longer than 10 years also shared an email address. Seemingly Weird, but true.
- Young couples talk anywhere between 1 – 3 times on social media daily: according to a 2018 survey in France, 31 percent of young people tagged or interacted with their partners on social networks, anywhere from once to three times daily.Social networks like Facebook and Instagram both have a chat function integrated into the apps, and they also have an active notification system. Based on the operation of these two functions alone, people get to communicate with their loved ones and see their activities in real-time. No one is ever truly far away.
- About 6 percent of women own a couples vibrator: According to a 2017 survey done in the United States, 6 percent of women own a couples vibrator. The low data representation may be due to a couple of factors, like poor sexual understanding among heterosexual couples, or increased preference for solo masturbation. In any case, some 6 percent prefer to use their vibrators with their partners.
- Long-distance couples who Skype are more satisfied in their relationship: A study by Allie Kirk analyzed whether an increase in the time spent in computer communication among long-distance couples translated to a deeper satisfaction in long-distance relationships.This research made a positive correlation between using Skype and satisfaction in relationships. Long-distance couples who Skype get to see their partners as opposed to chatting through texts and this was seen to make a huge difference.
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- 4 in 10 men love anal play: in a 2022 survey of American male participants, about 46 percent of men revealed that they owned at least one anal toy. Another 41 percent revealed that they owned at least one vibrator. With millions of sex toys in circulation and usage around the world, more men have joined the buzz in the gratification of their sexual desire, alone or with their partners.
- Power up the fun: According to a study by YouGov, 1 in 4 men would accept the offer to have sex with a robot. This is not surprising in comparison to the 1 in 10 women who would have sex with a robot if offered, because statistically speaking, men are more inclined to take risks. In any case, sex robots, although in existence, are quite some distance from being perfect.
- Studies show that communication technology reduces jealousy in long-distance relationships: in a study by Carman Neustaedter and Saul Greenback on intimacy in Long distance relationships over video chat, it was determined that media being rich these days has been seen to ease loneliness, increase feelings of closeness, and quite significantly, lower jealousy.
- 50 percent of long-distance couples met each other online: In a 2018 study of long-distance couples, about half of all the couples in the survey said they had met each other online.More younger adults are resorting to finding a partner online than through traditional means because it allows for more options for a partner. Although, a good percent of older people still believe in finding love the good old way.
- 4 out of every 5 Americans support sexting: One study shows that 80 percent of American adults are sexting or have sexted before. Some people do not realize how common it is and entertain feelings of guilt. However, it is worth noting that clinical psychologists suggest that sexting be limited to texts only, to avoid adverse effects of having explicit images of one in circulation.
- 40 percent of people who have been in long-distance relationships feel that a lack of communication accounts for the biggest reason why the relationships fail: in a 2018 survey by Kiiroo, 40 percent of long-distance relationship partners thought that a lack of communication is the major reason why long-distance relationships fail. Another 24 percent said a disagreement in opinion on the preferred means of communication accounted for the biggest problem in long-distance relationships.The effect of communication technology in ensuring that couples across the world remain connected and conversing is largely underemphasized judging from the number of long-distance relationships that suffer when communication is poor.
- About 24 percent of internet users who are dating or dated recently used the internet or email to keep a long-distance relationship: A study by Pew Research showed that about a quarter of internet users who are dating or dated in the recent past, used the internet to maintain a long distance relationship with their significant other.
- Sexting is more sexually gratifying for those in non-committed relationships: studies have shown that people in committed relationships show no significant increase in sexual fulfilment from sexting.This is because, in most committed relationships, there is the constant fulfilment of sexual desire. Rather, the population of adults in non-committed relationships tended to show an increase in sexual gratification.
- Research shows that 56 percent of divorce is linked with excessive pornographic use by one partner in the relationship: On the negative spectrum, according to a survey of attorneys, more than half of divorce cases have a link with excessive consumption of pornographic content by one partner in the relationship.For the many good things the internet has afforded modern couples, this is a not-so-good one according to stats. However, other research on the health of relationships where both partners in a relationship consume the same type of pornographic content proved to be positive. Partners in the relationships proved to be more satisfied.
- 38 percent of American women would use a remote-controlled vibrator: A study on American women showed that 38 percent of women would use remote-controlled vibrators as opposed to manual ones.Remote-controlled vibrators are techier and are designed better to fulfill sexual desires. More so, with the remote in the hands of their partners, women can have their partners participate with them in the gratifying experience.
- Homosexual women tend to have more sexual fulfillment with increased pornographic use: A study by Poulsen, Busby, and Galvan in 2013 showed that women in general in comparison to men, tend to favor less pornographic consumption.Men tend to consume pornographic content for themselves, but a few studies show that women tend to be more interested in viewing pornographic content to be more knowledgeable on how to please their partners than for their own pleasure.Yet, Homosexual women were seen to have more sexual gratification and fulfillment in their relationships with increased pornographic use. Keep in mind that homosexual women consume a different type of porn anyway.
- 1 in 3 American adults has sexted from work: Research shows that Americans are very accepting of sexting. Up to 96 percent of American adults are accepting of it. However, many people sext from places they consider more appropriate.Only a third of surveyed American adults claim to have sexted from work. A few people enjoy the thrill of being caught and inappropriacy rather than the sensuality of the act itself.
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- Audio and video call disruptions are subtly contributing to humor and better understanding among couples: According to research on the effects of media on long-distance couples, results showed that distortions in audio quality or video quality, rather than serving as a negative for long-distance communication, showed to be a source of humor among long-distance couples.Couples who experienced this tended to be more understanding of the situation and their partner. They tended to see the effort made by partners over the lack of smooth communication.
- On average, long-distance couples send 343 texts every week: It could be the little things like the dog being sick or the big ones, like the mortgage on the house. It doesn’t matter to long-distance couples.When your loved one is hundreds of miles away, everything is worth texting about. However, it would seem that when resolving an argument, other forms of communication are best advised. In any case, the results from the survey showed that the average long-distance couple sends about 340 texts every week.
- 9 percent of married or partnered adults have resolved a fight with their significant other via texts or online: The funny thing about this is that while some do not advise that arguments be resolved over texts, it works. 9 percent of married adults in a survey claim to have done it.It works because for some people, not being able to see or interact with the physically displeasing demeanor and aggression of their partner prevents them from being triggered and provides a calmer environment for rational thought.
- 81 percent of long-distance couples say real-life visits were more intimate than usual: 8 out of 10 long-distance couples tend to enjoy visits a whole lot more than usual. The anticipation thickens, and the excitement amps up, leading up to those moments when partners see one another again after a while.In such couples, communications technology through the frequent interaction of both partners serves to keep couples desirous enough of one another, till they can physically be together again.
- 1 out of 4 married cell phone owners have felt their partner was distracted by their phone whenever they were together: it isn’t all roses and daisies with technology though because about 25 percent of married or partnered phone owners don’t like how much time their partners spend on their phone. This makes sense because a good number of married people surveyed in this study account for the older couple population, some of whom may not be very tech-savvy.
- Long-distance couples spend about 8 hours conversing every week: In long-distance relationships, there’s usually a lot of ground to cover to make up for a lack of physical presence, and the way many couples in long-distance relationships cover for that lack of presence is by communication, conversing about everything and anything.In fact, according to Kiirus research in 2018, the average long-distance couple spends about 8 hours talking on the phone or video chatting with one another.
- 11 percent of partnered adults that are active on social media sites share a social media profile: In a 2014 study by Pew Research on Couples, the Internet, and Social media, the research team found that about 1 in every 10 married or partnered couples, who use social networks share a social network profile.Intimacy truly has no borders. It ought not to be what is had only in the physical world, but something that transcends beyond the physical, and for these couples, the oneness and togetherness which they already probably shared in their lives together, they also share in the internet space. A little extreme for some, but worth it for some others.
At a Glance, Technology’s Adverse Effect on Modern Intimate Relations
Everything that has Pros has Cons, and technology’s effect on modern intimate relations is not all positive. Some of the negative effects include:
- A reduction in the sexual desire of male partners within their relationship due to increased pornographic consumption: Technological advancements in the last few years brought about the internet, and with the internet came a surge in the number of adult websites online. Some studies show that men, more than women, are likely to participate in pornographic consumption for their sexual gratification.
Studies also show that in relationships where the male partner consumed pornography without the female partner, there was a reduction in the participation of male partners in sexual relations. Some other studies showed that such male partners also experienced a reduction in sexual gratification from intimate relations with their partners.
- In a survey published by Statista, 42 percent of survey participants said they were uncomfortable knowing family members can monitor one’s activity on social media: Truth be told, sometimes people want to enjoy their social media privately without having to adjust a bunch of settings.
Looking at the bigger picture, stalkers and people with malicious intent can also get access to one’s social media to monitor one’s activity without restrictions. Yes, social media connects people easily. However, it also exposes them, possibly to the wrong people.
- In the same study by Statista, about 40 percent of survey participants said they were uncomfortable with finding out about the life of their family members via social media: There’s a saying, “If you go snooping, you may not like what you find.” 4 in 10 people from this survey were uninterested in finding out about the lives of their loved ones through social media.
- 27 percent of people say that technology has caused less face-to-face interactions among families. In cases of dissatisfaction among geographically close couples, one of the major reasons for dissatisfaction is the spending of too much time on-screen by one partner.
Technology, like it has done many aspects of human life, has contributed a lot to sexuality, sexual wellness, and the intimacy that people share in relationships. There are about 5 billion users of the internet worldwide and about 4.7 billion users of social media. Everyone is an app away these days.
Couple sex toys are smarter than ever and can be easily connected to one another across hundreds of miles, by leveraging the power of the internet. These toys and their interconnectivity provides couples all over the world with the opportunity to enjoy sexual relations with their partners. Encrypted messaging and video apps can help to heighten this experience for lovers.
Private servers and Virtual private networks mean that couples need not worry about the intimate details of their lives being accessible to the public. Yet, technology keeps pushing the boundaries. As newer tech floods the market, more opportunities for better intimacy between people in relationships will open up. As such, the conversation continues.