Amouranth Launches “Vaginal Yeast” Beer

One of the world’s most popular Twitch streamers and Best OnlyFans stars, Amouranth, is sending out her own personal beer line.

While celebrity booze is nothing to write home about, this bottle has a special ingredient that is sure to catch everyone’s attention.

The beer is flavored with Amouranth’s vaginal bacteria.

Yes, you read that right.

Let’s take a look at this lewd libation and answer the question on all of our minds: “What?”

Foxy Fermentation

For those not in the know, 29 year-old Kaitlyn Siragusa, aka Amouranth is a powerhouse online. Her combination of sex and nerdiness has garnered an intense following, with her Celebrity OnlyFans page reportedly raking in $1.5 million every month.

Siragusa doesn’t just make bank from her viewers as one of the Best Gamer Girl Onlyfans accounts. The streaming starlett also owns brick and mortar business like the midwestern-based Kum & Go gas stations and 7-11 mini-marts.

She also sells, shall we say, singular items like water from her hot tub or her fart in a jar. The fart in a jar went for $400 before selling out.

Siragusa is a talented and shrewd businesswoman, but is this new venture a step too far?

Teaming up with Polish brewery The Order of Yoni, this new beer will be made with Siragusa’s own vaginal bacteria. Yoni is actually a perfect place for this collaboration. Not only does “yoni” mean “vulva” is Sanskrit, but this wouldn’t be Yoni’s first rodeo.

Alcoholic Alchemy

The Order is Yoni is an exceptionally horny brewer, but not in the basic Budweiser bikini babe way.

They combine a sense of spiritualism and science to craft unique beers made from vaginal lactic acid bacteria in a safe way. The idea is based on an ancient sacrament of the Great Godess’ vaginal lactobacillus being mixed with water, yeast, and malts to create a sour ale.

They currently have a stable of goddesses for their different varietals. Monika, Patricia, and Paulina each have their own flavor named after them, thanks to their contributions.

That’s two blonds, a brunette, and now a redhead.

Feels like there’s a joke somewhere in there.

The process is fascinating. Siragusa has sent a pap smear sample to The Order of Yoni, where, according to the brewery’s website, “These smears are taken to a laboratory where bacteria are isolated, cleaned, then analysed and multiplied. At the end of the process, the bacteria are used to produce the pure lactic acid that goes into Yoni beer.”

The website also stresses that this process is safe and the beers themselves a rigorously tested and processed to keep the bad bacteria and anything else that might be lurking in there out of the final product.

According to their site: “During isolation, the material is tested for the absence of other bacteria and viruses. These procedures prevent other bacteria and viruses from surviving, thus allowing the growth of only Lactobacillus bacteria.”

“Once again, in terms of certainty and safety, a final test of the propagated lyophilized bacteria is carried out before use in the preparation of the material. Lyophilized bacteria are tested for the presence of foreign DNA and/or RNA. This ensures that only Lactobacillus bacteria are used, and it is completely safe and healthy.”

While the science is impressive, I am forced to paraphrase Dr. Ian Malcolm in wondering if they were so preoccupied with whether or not they could make pussy-beer that they never stopped to think if they should.

Crack Open a Cold One

Siragusa has joined the influencer beverage space in spectacular fashion.

While she does have plans of starting her own beverage company, Siragusa’s current partnership with The Order of Yani is the only place you’ll get a chance to enjoy her very personal beer.

Speaking to Dexerto, Siragusa is not worried about sales.

“It’s hilarious. People will buy it for sure. I don’t know if they’ll actually drink it, I mean, they’ll probably drink it,” she laughed.

Is there anything more to this vaginal-based beverage than riling up horny fans or is this just good clean fun?

    • Justin Perlman (he/him) is a comedian and writer based in Atlanta. He has two cats named Dr. Whoopsy-Daisy & Superintendent Chalmers and cries at the ending of Robocop.

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