During this past International Cinema Day, I wanted to dig into one of my favorite mediums for storytelling: animation.
What I found was what is considered to be the first Adult cartoon from 1928, Eveready Harton in “Buried Treasure”. This bit of historical horniness is one of the craziest things I’ve ever seen and I became obsessed with learning more about it.
Let’s take a look at the early history of animation, the evolution of NSFW cartoons, and how this nearly 100 year-old film puts modern porn toons to shame.
The Art of Animation
Before we get into the actual film, I want to give those who are unfamiliar with how cartoons are made a quick lesson on this magical art form and the effort that goes into it.
This way, you can really appreciate the time and sweat that went into this insane cartoon. You see, before we were blessed with the excesses of VR Porn Sites & AI Porn, things were much simpler.
Modern animation is mostly done with computers and in 3D. Think of things like Pixar movies or Shrek. There is an unfathomable amount of effort with whole teams of people working out minute details in motion and performance.
Traditional 2D animation, especially back in the old days, was an even more laborious process.
For every second of a film you watch, there are 24 individual frames of still images that flicker by and give the illusion of motion. If the artist is animating every other frame, also known as animating on 2’s, that means they need to draw 12 images for every second on screen by hand.
The animator needs to keep a feeling of momentum and continuity between every frame of the scene.
Animators also need to adhere to the 12 principles of animation in order to get an understandable or even watchable result. Here are the big 12 rules in one handy graphic:
As you can see, the basic rules of good animation include technical things like timing and physics, but also aesthetic ideas such as appeal and exaggeration.
Animation was in its infancy in the early 1920s. The world-famous debut of Micky Mouse was still on the horizon in 1928’s Steamboat Willie. These concepts were molded over years of sweat and thoughtful experimentation.
In order to truly appreciate the insanity of Buried Treasure, you need to understand how much thought and craft went into what might be the craziest cartoon I have ever seen.
The Plot (?) of Eveready Harton in “Buried Treasure”
Okay. Strap in.
The 1929 silent film opens with text that explains that our hero has escaped a group of “Hoary Amazens” and is stranded on a desert island.
We fade in to find a small man who looks upsettingly like Mario taking a nap in a field with a raging boner the size of his torso. Two flies are resting on Eveready’s dick tip, which he promptly shoos away by firing a pistol at them.
In a puff of smoke, both flies and Eveready’s dick have vanished. Eveready looks panicked for a moment before his penis pokes its head out from behind a nearby rock, terrified.
The dong and balls do a little somersault and reattach themselves to Eveready, who gives a comforting pat on its head.
This was the moment I knew I was in for a treat. Eveready’s junk acts like a pet. A wiener dog, if you will.
Speaking of dogs, Eveready pulls out a pair of binoculars to see a tiny pup going to town on a much larger dog while a crowd of small good bois cheers him on. Eveready continues to look around at other animals boning down with comically large wangs and human positions.
Everyone is getting laid except Eveready.
Eventually, our hero spies a woman masturbating with a dildo on a nearby rock. His penis-pal perks up and they go off to get some. Naturally, Eveready needs to pull out what looks like the front of a bike to rest his boner on before walking.
He eventually loses the wheel and uses his hard-on to pole vault forward in goofy, little hops.
Once Eveready arrives and spits a bit of game, the lady gives her enthusiastic consent. This is illustrated by her labia reaching out and grabbing Eveready’s knob.
The only problem is that our boy can’t seem to get his little friend in. That’s because this damsel has stowed an alarm clock and a shoe inside herself.
And that’s not all.
Once inside, a crab latches onto Eveready’s tumescent companion. The Cock-er Spaniel runs away as Eveready chases after.
This is where I’m going to stop the blow-by-blow. For one, the film is only seven minutes long and I don’t want to spoil anything.
Also, I really don’t want to end up on a list by describing things like loony bestiality.
So, why the hell would I recommend seeing this grotesque and perverted piece of history?
They Don’t Make Them Like They Used To
We think of early 20th-century porn as being tame to the point of absurdity. No one would be surprised by an adult film from the early 1900s called “Hark! An Ankle!” or “Sinful Shoulders”.
Surprisingly, there was quite a bit of hardcore action to be found even then.
The 1920s was host to its own sexual revolution, with women dressing in Flapper gowns and hitting the town. They even flirted with men!
Gasp.
There was a lot more to the 1920s revolution, such as depressingly familiar debates over birth control and women’s bodily autonomy, but it was the first real public awakening surrounding sexuality.
Adult films were pretty common, ever since the invention of the film camera. That shouldn’t come as a shock, considering how every new invention gets used for porn right out of the gate. I mean, we live in the world of VR Porn Games.
What is a surprise is how they filmed porn is pretty much the same as today, just with much lower fidelity.
You can actually see some spicy films from the early 1920s on Pornhub and similar sites. Besides the grainy and choppy film look, films like Mousquetaire au Restaurant blend right in.
That being said, the animation here stands out compared to any of today’s NSFW toons.
The biggest reason to seek this bit of raunchy cinema is that it is, well, just damn funny.
In modern animated porn, such as Rule34 or Hentai, the main goal is to jerk off to it. If there is a story, it is generally a melodrama about relationships or window-dressing to get through before the sex happens.
With Buried Treasure, the audience is not supposed to get aroused. It’s the bluest of blue comedies. When stripped of anthropomorphized genitalia and sodomy mishaps, there is a classic comedy story at play.
A hapless hero and his faithful companion go on a madcap adventure and hijinks ensue.
The fact that there is a narrative is another welcome edition. The whole film is well structured. Every perverse act pushes the story forward and ramps up the insanity, with our pornographic protagonist getting more desperate and pathetic.
On top of all that, the animation is so well done!
Every action and frame adheres to the big principles, especially appeal. Like, the dick-dog is so adorable. I actually felt concerned for it when the crab snapped on.
When compared to modern animated adult fare, where realism in motion and storytelling is typically focused on, it is nice to see a piece that capitalizes on a medium where anything can happen and no logic is needed.
That might be chalked up to the rumor that this film was created by three of the biggest animators of the era as a goof.
This idea of powerful industry filmmakers making porn for fun and showing it at parties is an unsubstantiated urban legend that includes names like Steven Speilberg and Martin Scorcese.
No matter who made this masterpiece, you can see the time and effort it must have taken. Also, whoever made this is a freak of the highest order.
XXX Marks the Spot
If you’re a fan of animation and zany adult antics, or you want a clearer insight into what insane shit was going on in the heads of our elders, then you need to check out Buried Treasure.
With the glut of animated porn out there, this nearly 100 year-old comedy stands out for its humor, craftsmanship, and imagination.
Just maybe don’t watch it in the office.
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