The Rundown | April 16-23

A curated list of things to do while mandated to stay home and do nothing

Dim Sum
COVID-19 be damned, they’re still whipping up some great cuisine at area restaurants. Dim Sum anyone? | Image: Chinh Le Duc

WHO WE’RE LISTENING TO

PHL Diversity Podcasts

If you wanted insight on the diverse businesses that fuel Philly’s economic engine and who these movers and shakers are, we highly recommend this podcast. We like it because no two businesses are the same, and this pod gets it right profiling anyone from a top executive at Comcast to possibly the owner of your corner poppy shop. We respect that, despite this being a corporate pod, it’s anything but a corporate feel. | soundcloud.com/phlcvb 

If you love history or just want to know what crazy shit happened back in the day, we have the podcast for you. | Image provided

Stuff you missed in History Class

If hosts Tracy Wilson and Holly Frey were our teachers in high school, we probably would’ve paid more attention in class. Probably the coolest way to learn about anything history related. From the Civil War, major moments and even butter vs. margarine, these two make for an interesting listen. The show has since gone corporate, getting picked up by iHeart Radio, but it hasn’t wavered or toed company lines one bit. | iheart.com/podcast/stuff-you-missed-in-history-cl-21124503/ 

Gone Cold 

KYW Newsradio’s Tom Rickert and Kristen Johanson dive deep into the files of some of Philadelphia’s biggest unsolved murders and crime events. If you’re a fan of a good murder mystery every now and then and a bit of history of Philadelphia before all of the swanky restaurants, coffee shops and fringe boutiques, then the 45-60 minutes you’ll commit to digesting this one is well worth the time. | radio.com/media/podcast/gone-cold-philadelphia-unsolved-murders-a-kyw-newsradio-true-crime-podcast

Philly is Phunny

WTDY (96.5-FM) hosts Bennett and Laura Boss bring the human side out of some of the funniest comedians both locally and nationally. There’s a breakdown with local comics, sometimes bordering on the hilarious, sometimes bordering on the serious – which is always an enlightening perspective. Recent guests have been Paul Mercurio, Michael Yo and Shanell Renee, who was named “Best Female Comic of the Year” in 2018 by the Philadelphia Hip Hop Awards. | 965tdy.radio.com/media/podcast/philly-is-phunny

Philly Who?

OK, so this one has been around for a minute, but we love it for the constant rotation of Philadelphians we get to hear from on a weekly basis. Host Kevin Chemidlin has had just about anyone who’s anyone on a show that started out as a side hustle and has become not just his bread and butter but a huge benefit to our ears. | podphillywho.com/

Serial

We know it’s a national show but it still is a phenomenal look at just how fucked the criminal justice system can be in America. It’s one of the longest-running podcasts on the subject and there’s a reason why. Because not only are these stories relatable, the drama in them is must-listen audio. I mean it won a Peabody for fuck’s sake. It’s seriously legit. | serialpodcast.org/about 

Ridley Creek is 30 minutes or less from Center City with acres and acres of green space to get lost in. | Image provided

WHERE WE’RE CLEARING OUR HEADS

We can’t stay stuck in the house forever and a walk around the neighborhood gets played out after a while. With that said, we found these six spots that are off the beaten path that we go to get the hell away. 

Glen Foerd on the Delaware

You won’t even feel like you’re in the Great Northeast. We’re talking an old mansion surrounded by acres of trails, paths and greenspace along the banks of the Delaware River and Poquessing Creek. If you can’t look at a screen anymore and need to just get out of the house for a bit, the drive (or walk if you’re close), is well worth the trip. | glenfoerd.org/

Ridley Creek State Park

Much like Glen Foerd, you can’t access the houses at this state park, but you can enjoy the over 2,000 miles of trails, woodlands and waterways throughout. We like it because if you sneak away during a weekday, it’s virtually a dead zone and you get the whole park to yourself. No worries about COVID when it’s just you. Also, there’s even a waterfall for those who just need to clear their head. | dcnr.pa.gov/StateParks/FindAPark/RidleyCreekStatePark/Pages/default.aspx 

Bartram’s Garden

Hopefully, you’re seeing a trend that we love seclusion when we’re trying to clear our head. There’s no fun watching a ton of people going for a run or rollerblading with masks on. This jawn is still secluded and it’s spring, which means if anything is planted there now, it’s most definitely in full bloom. Another set of trails gets you down to the banks of the Schuylkill where for a sec you’ll forget that you’re still in city confines. | bartramsgarden.org/ 

Martin Luther King Drive (past Montgomery Ave.)

As you get closer to Center City, it gets congested, but head west toward Manayunk along MLK Drive and you’ll walk along a canopy of trees on the other side of busy Kelly Drive, but still with a fantastic view of the Schuylkill River. If you’re feeling sporty, there’s all kinds of pull-up bars and other apparatuses, but if you do partake bring hand sanitizer. You know, cuz COVID and all.  

Wilson Farm Park 

Wilson is great for those who want miles of legit trail to run on where hills come and go and people are scarce. Situated in between Paoli and Berwyn, Wilson is just about 30 minutes from Center City and offers a good path, and fields on fields to do whatever you want. You could even practice some social distancing activities like soccer golf, home run derbies or a little chip and putt and not have anyone bother you. | tredyffrin.org/services/parks-recreation 

WHAT WE’RE EATING

Cry Baby Pasta

Home delivery and curbside pick-up, Tuesday to Saturday. Homemade pasta kits, entrees and desserts for the family. Sample daily menus include Harissa Baby Carrots with Mint Salsa Verde, Caesar Salad, Chicken Riggies with Vodka Sauce (Pancetta, Smoked Chicken), Bolognese and Tagliatelle, Pomodoro Sauce with Fresh Rigatoni, Shrimp Fra Diavoli and Spaghetti, Meatballs and Marinara, Linguine and Puttanesca, Double Bone-in Pork Chops, Chicken Francaise, Macaroons, Butterscotch Budino, Chocolate Cream Pie. | toasttab.com/cry-baby-pasta/v3

P’unk Burger

Take-out or delivery only. Must order ahead. A full menu of all of your P’unk Burger favorites, including build your own burgers, signature burgers, tuna, sandwiches, vegan and gluten-free offerings, fries, onion rings, shakes and much more. | 1823 E. Passyunk Ave. punkburger.com/

Rosy’s Taco Bar

Available through website directly as best option, or order through Caviar and Grubhub, Rosy’s remains open as a resource for its neighbors and the community with a selection of food and drink – including new Cocktails to Go Kits, Mainstay Independent Brewing Company Beers, Seltzers, Tacos, Entrees, Sides, Burritos and More. Eight varieties of tacos include: Korean-style short ribs, Camarones with jumbo shrimp, Pollo Tinga with chicken tinga, Bistec with verde-marinated beef, Chorizo with chorizo picante and potatoes, Al Pasta with pork shoulder and pineapple, and Veggie with eggplant, corn, poblana and chihuahua cheese. | Noon to 10 p.m. daily. rosystacobar.com/

SliCE Pizza

Take-out or delivery only. Must order ahead. Full selection of pizza, signature pies, calzones, strombolis, salads, desserts, and make your own pizza kits. | South Philadelphia: 1180 S. 10th St., 215-463-0868; Fishtown: 431 E. Girard Ave. 215-425-1555. slicepa.com

Casa Mexico

The restaurant is open Monday through Friday, from 4 p.m. to 8 p.m. for take-out. Cristina is preparing two or three guisados daily, served with tortillas, rice and beans. The best way to do it is to just stop by, see what’s on the menu, and wait a few minutes for the food to be prepared to go. | 1134 S 9th St.

You can buy this where something actually grows out of his skull besides hot air. | Image provided

WHAT WE’RE BUYING ON EBAY

40-acre Nevada ‘ranch’

OK, it’s just 40 acres that’s pretty much in the middle of nowhere, but stay with us for a minute. First, if you bought it, dropped a prefab cabin on it, drilled a well, put in a septic system and installed some solar panels, you would, by definition, be self-isolating every day for the rest of your life. And current property taxes are $54.19 a year. Bid when we checked: $3,150. | https://www.ebay.com

Lifetime Pornhub account

This supposedly is a lifetime account with a lifetime warranty, but we don’t know what the warranty would actually cover. Also, there’s a warning that you can’t change the account details or all bets are off. The kicker: It’s 99 cents. Even a bigger kicker: The seller is taking bids, so if you don’t feel like spending a whole 99 cents, you can try to lower the price. | https://www.ebay.com

Donald Trump Chia Pet

If you don’t know what a Chia Pet is, just skip over this. If you know, know this is the greatest, most magnificent Chia Pet ever. It’s Donald’s head, but his hair, with proper watering and care, is green. A must-have for every collector and GOP stalwart. Opening bid was $8.99, but you can make an offer. If you miss out on this one, there are plenty more for sale on the site. | https://www.ebay.com

Fake lottery tickets

An oldie but a goodie, you’ll get six tickets, all guaranteed “winners.” What, apparently, makes this different is, and this is straight from a listing: “There is a HUGE difference between ours and other makes online. Many cheap inferior knockoffs that don’t look real, THAT WILL NOT BE THE CASE WITH OURS!” It’ll cost you $2.99 to judge for yourself. Just a word to the wise: You probably don’t want to give these to someone who just lost a job, or you risk violent retaliation. | https://www.ebay.com

UFO newspaper reprint

Apparently, a flying saucer crashed in New Mexico. Straight from the listing: “These are REPRINTS from the original negatives, on new heavy gauge newsprint of the actual front pages of the July 8 & 9, 1947 Roswell Daily Record, the days the Roswell crash was reported in the news.  Several articles about the crash are on the front pages in their entirety, two articles show “continued to Page 4” so the full article is not on that front page.” Only $16.99. | https://www.ebay.com/

Fortune-telling fish

OK, the way this works is that you place a small, plastic fish in your hand and the fish will tell you your mood by the way it moves. Question: Shouldn’t you already know the mood you’re in before asking the plastic fish? Anyway, since these are described as “miracle” fortune-telling fish – as opposed to regular fortune-telling fish – maybe one can predict when our lives will return to normal. You get 144 fish for $748, but there are discounts if you want even more fish.

If you’re able-bodied, there is absolutely no excuse to not do this at least once a day. | Image: Jonathan Borba

HOW WE’RE STAYING IN SHAPE

The gyms are closed and you don’t burn many calories pressing your TV’s remote or curling a bottle of your favorite beverage. Here are a few tips to keep from getting too flabby during the lockdown:

Go outside

At the time we wrote this, it was still permissible to leave your house to walk or jog – as long as you avoided walking or jogging with groups of strangers. The weather is getting better and the fresh air will do you some good. 

Online help

If you’re not exactly self-motivated to get into shape, check for local online trainers. There are lots of professionals, but, during these times, many folks are sharing their training talents for free on social media and elsewhere. It’s not the same as working one-on-one with someone in a gym, but it might be enough to get you moving.

Watch what you eat

If you normally eat healthy to maintain your shapely figure, that advice goes double during this lockdown. Chances are, you’re not moving around as much in your daily life – walking up stairs or through a parking lot to get to work, for example. And if you went to a gym, you’re not going now. So, the lockdown has reduced the number of calories you would burn during normal times. Reduce the number of calories you’re taking in to help balance that.

Schedule a time to work out

Carve out 15, 30, 60 minutes, whatever, a day to exercise. Even when we’re not self-isolating, the pros recommend making exercise a regular part of your daily routine. Now that we’re locked inside and losing track of time, following a schedule is even more important.

Buy a jump rope

It’s pretty self-explanatory, but it’s also a great exercise that both builds muscle tone and improves your cardio. However, if you live in an apartment or condo that isn’t on the first floor, you might want to do this exercise outside. Your downstairs neighbors will appreciate it.

Ask grandpa

Back in the good old days, people didn’t have all these fancy gizmos to keep in shape. It snowed every day, and they had to walk 20 miles, barefoot, uphill both ways to school. They pulled the plow when their mule was too tired to till the fields. If they wanted more, they did pushups, sit-ups and jumping jacks. They did squats and then one-legged squats. Ask grandad for some tips – and then get off his lawn.