Life in the 21st century is one of uber-convenience. You can go from sipping your afternoon coffee and feeling a little frisky to being on your back post-coital in less than two hours thanks to top hookup sites such as Tinder, Grindr, and Adult Friend Finder.
Gone are the days of relying on your sparkling personality and good looks in a five-in-ten chance of getting lucky at the bar. Today’s sexual libertines have never had it so easy with the plethora of platforms to right swipe your way to sexual satisfaction.
But what if you are not a charismatic extrovert with superior cerebral agility and a family tree blessed with beautiful genetics for branches?
It doesn’t matter.
The internet of things has built a place for even the most socially awkward of individuals to meet like-minded misfits who all successfully Netflix and chill to their heart’s content.
Sex has never been more readily available so one would think that would lead to a slowdown in terms of the need to pay for such services, right?
I mean, why go out and spend $300 on a single sex session when the cost of a couple of introductory coffees can sate your sexual thirst?
To answer this question, one needs to examine the semantics of prostitution and hookup culture more closely to understand why the supposedly insatiable hookup site culture has done little to stem the tide of the oldest profession in the world.
The Nuts and Bolts of Paying For It
While it is true that many a less-than-average-looking Joe have found themselves resorting to visiting a friendly hooker in the hopes of getting the leg over society has denied him, it is wrong to assume that only unattractive or socially awkward men visit prostitutes.
Studies throughout the years have time and again shown that the average “John” is an above-averagely attractive, married (or in a committed relationship), white, and a high-income earner with a graduate degree.
Hardly a case of “He can’t get it unless he pays for it”.
We are not talking about the guy that most women turn their backs on, we are talking about the guy women cannot wait to take home to meet the family (except for the married part).
Then there is the problematic inconvenience of emotional entanglement. The epitome of the hookup “Oh hell no”!
No matter how many times it has been expressly conveyed that a particular hookup is for shits and giggles, more often than not, one of us catches feelings. With Candy, Sandy, and Mandy you pay $300 an hour so you can anonymously slink back into your safe world of complete emotional sovereignty.
Additionally, other motivations behind visiting a prostitute vary from loneliness, blowing off stress-induced steam, and the appeasement of sexual frustration. OK, so the same can be said for the motivations behind a hookup site, but here is the marked difference…
A bored, married, white guy with his graduate degree is going to walk into a hooker’s bedroom and come right 100% of the time. The exact same guy on a hookup site is going to come right only 0.06% of the time.
That is right.
While women have an only 10% success rate on Tinder, men record a devastating 0.06% success rate.
Those are mind-boggling numbers.
Are Hookup Sites a Little More Hype Than Hump?
Could it be that the hookup culture is little more than hype as opposed to the assumed vast majority of the human population having unadulterated casual sex everywhere between Monday’s almond lattes, Wednesday’s 11 am Zoom check-in, and self-care Saturdays?
The evidence clearly demonstrates that the “hookup” in hookup culture is a lot less easy to come by than is generally assumed.
As of 2020, there are more than 270 million people on hookup sites all over the world and the figure continues to boom. Not every user on Tinder and Bumble is there to fumble their way through a casual sex encounter. In fact, only 47% admit that they use the sites purely for hookups.
For the record, 47% of 270 million is 126.9 million of which more than 60% of those users have only a 0.06% success rate…
In contrast, there are about 42 million sex workers engaged in active prostitution around the globe. If you consider that the average prostitute sees four clients a day, all of a sudden we are talking about many more prostitutes seeking Johns than the 0.06% of a paltry rough estimate of 76 million Hookup Henrys.
Where Does Hookup Culture Come In?
Sites such as Seeking Arrangement and Sugar Daddy Meet have answered the modern-day call of wealthy individuals looking for beautiful baubles to adorn their bedrooms in exchange for cash payments and beautiful baubles of a different kind.
These “Sugar Daddy” Sites connect “sugar daddies” (men with money) to “sugar babies” (young women) for a unique blend of luxury dating often accompanied by sex.
Female “sugar mommas” and male “sugar babies” do exist, but they are rare.
But there are still the cash-flush men and women seeking arrangements that don’t come with the complications of caring about your tuition or where you want to be in five years’ time.
Seeking the excitement of a sexual encounter without having to concern yourself with the sentiments that come with sexual intimacy, no matter how fleeting, is still a major factor behind a paying customer being more than happy to shell out for what many can find for free.
We are indeed a society compelled by impulse and convenience and for many, visiting prostitutes is still the ultimate convenience.
Hookup culture is a long way away from having any kind of impact on the sex industry coupled with the fact that men and women are having less sex today than they did 30 years ago, in spite of it being more readily available.
Wait, what?
You Mean We Are Having LESS Sex In Spite Of Hookup Culture?
Studies conducted in the US and the UK have shown that adults are dropping their underwear significantly less often than their 1970s & ’80s counterparts.
The reasons for this significant decrease are because today’s men and women are looking for something a little more compelling than casual one-night stands, despite what hookup culture represents.
Also, the modern man is just busier than ever.
Every generation has its own version of a sexual revolution and Bumble-boosted Netfilx and Chill sessions seem to be the modern-day answer to sex, drugs and rock n roll.
The bombardment of information readily available at our fingertips may have deceived us into thinking that we are a culture of rampant hedonists in the throes of a digital sexual revolution, however, the facts paint a slightly more staid picture.
Adults and teenagers today are a little more discerning than their swinging sixties seniors and we are experiencing an evolution in our sexual appetites. Teen pregnancy is on the decline and new HIV cases are at an all-time low (also, in part, thanks to the wonders of modern medicine).
Sex education, sexual tolerance, the changing of gender status quos, self-awareness, and the fact that sex has never been more available than it is right now, making it less of a taboo… this has all culminated in a perfect storm of they’s, he’s and she’s being more aware of their true needs and desires than ever before.
And that’s a good thing.
The freedom to question societal norms and explore personal emotional responses has led to a multi-generational rejection of settling for the first partner that finds you tolerable and the rise of singletons choosing to have sex on their own terms- even if it is less frequently than their rock n rolling predecessors.
Less Hate For The Humble Hookup Site
Hookup sites are here to stay for the foreseeable future. They are not wiping out millennia-old scandalous traditions, nor are they morally corrupting society to the extent where religious zealots need to be extolling the need for an imminent second coming.
Yes, hookup sites are filling the void left behind by a society that is socializing less often than previous generations.
Well before the pandemic, studies already showed that there was a massive decline in face-to-face socializing happening among all age, gender and orientation groups. Interestingly, this decline also predates social media.
While there is no definitive answer, experts suggest the back-breaking work culture of the 80s and 90s and into the 2000s is to blame for this decline.
Either way, Harry isn’t meeting Sally in the bars or at the park anymore. Hookup sites have become the new love story.
In fact, more than 20% of all current committed relationships began online. Hookup culture is nothing more than the modern-day equivalent of a Jane Austen character being caught unchaperoned behind the Bottle Brush Tree. Slightly scandalous, possibly, but necessary if we are to continue to evolve and thrive as a society and culture.
