The Scene: Mummers Parade

New year, new you … right?

Well, probably not. In all honesty, almost definitely not. Really, it’s a whole lot more like, “new year, pretty much the same you except for the first few weeks when you try to stick to some semblance of a resolution, maybe you lose a few pounds or learn a few new words in Spanish, but ultimately you’ll revert back to the same person you always were only maybe under slightly different circumstances, with the majority of those differences being that you now have to remember to write 2019 instead of 2018, which you will invariably forget.”

Guess that doesn’t fit on those paid media ads quite so well though, huh? You know, the ones that pop up next to whatever disgusting (but awesome) porn you happen to be perusing. Yeah, you know the ones.

To that end, as a Philadelphian, a member of that wild tribe of city folk so unflappable as to welcome in a mascot as deranged as Gritty and keep right on flyin’, could you really imagine doing anything on New Year’s Day other than watching a bunch of old men in opulent costumery and tiny motorized cars wandering along the parkway?

No, you can’t. And neither can we. So this year, instead of torturing yourself over quitting cigarettes (you really should, though all that vape shit is probably somehow worse) or cutting back on the calories (far be it for us to tell anyone to forego that fifth slice of pie, we’ll be right there with you in the kitchen at 3am, fork in fighting position) or whether you should do something truly awful like go for a hike on New Year’s Day, why not just lean into your truest sense of self?

Try accepting. Try learning to love what you see in the mirror. Make some changes, sure, but when the Mummers come on and the pie comes out, don’t try to make yourself feel bad either.

Instead, enjoy the life you’ve been given. Accept that change comes slow, not all at once. That you are the person you are, and that, despite all the other sad truths of life, no one can ever take that from you.

Mummers Parade | Jan. 1. 9am. Prices vary. Parade starts at City Hall, heads down Broad St. and finishes at the cross section of Broad and Washington Sts.


More Popular Articles

Upcoming Philly Events