Q: I consider myself to be a sex positive person. My friends are dancers, strippers, performers, and I support them, they’re great. I see them in shows, I appreciate what they do. During the pandemic, a lot of them have started OnlyFans accounts. A lot of my friends are really hot, I certainly wouldn’t mind seeing them naked, but there’s something about subscribing financially to see their nudes that changes the dynamic. Should I ask them if it’s OK for me to subscribe to their thing? Is it crossing a line? An important detail to me is that we are platonic. I also don’t want to do it behind my partner’s back, because it feels more personal than just surfing for porn.”
I love this question! After I received it, I took it to social media and asked friends who have accounts on OnlyFans, Frisk, JustFor.Fans, ManyVids, Clips4Sale, iWantEmpire or other sites where creators can serve up adult content and everyone else can be more ethical consumers of smut.
The best people to answer your question are probably the folks who are in your friends’ situation.
“I have some, and I’m just friendly and grateful for their support!” – Sinn Sage
“A few of my friends have been really respectful and asked if they could subscribe. I personally felt totally comfortable with it, and I really appreciated them asking me beforehand if I felt comfortable. I feel as though they are different from other subscribers in that they are more likely to genuinely appreciate what I do and want to support that instead of just consuming my content at face value. Ultimately, it depends on how respectful they are towards me and what I create, as well as they understand that a transaction is occurring.” – Nastya Nice
“While there are likely content creators for whom the idea of a buddy seeing their butthole might feel uncomfortable, a very real part of entering this line of work is reckoning with the question ‘what if someone I know sees this?’”
“The only friend’s partners I’ve had subscribe are people I know practice good polyamory so I haven’t had to worry…Actually, most of my platonic friends who have followed me have been other SWRKRS so it just felt like peer approval. The other people have had great boundaries in the past so they’ve had good boundaries here.” – Maggie McMuffin
“Some of my best customers are friends and exes I’m on good terms with! I tend to not keep anyone in my friend circle who would get weird about it.” – Vylentine
“I’ve had a few friends/friends’ partners subscribe. Some of them asked first which I thought was super polite and I appreciated [it]. I had one that subscribed to me for months before telling me he ‘knew me’ IRL and he was a friend’s boyfriend. I felt a little weird that he wanted to ‘confess’ it to me like that so badly and then he told me before he finally unsubscribed that she didn’t know about it and not to tell her. I wasn’t sure how to feel about the entire interaction honestly.” – Emma from Philly
“It depends on how they act. Sometimes it’s cool and sometimes it gets weird. They’re never my best tippers bc I don’t have rich friends though.” – Lauren Kiley
Undoubtedly, different people will feel different ways about this, but these responses point towards a general trend. While there are likely content creators for whom the idea of a buddy seeing their butthole might feel uncomfortable, a very real part of entering this line of work is reckoning with the question “what if someone I know sees this?” Your friends were probably aware of this possibility and decided it was worthwhile to go forward.
“If your partner is also sex positive and feels confident in your relationship to discuss issues, there’s a good chance they’ll be glad that you are supporting their friends.”
My thought is that if a friend has started a fan account in the past year and you know about it, they probably a) would like the money and b) have made a concerted effort to make sure you knew it existed. If you stumbled upon their pages at random in the sea of boobs and butts, that would be legitimately impressive.
As for your partner, I think you’ll need to conduct a similar survey to the one I did, except it will be of your partner and you’ll be asking how they feel about it. Maybe it’ll feel awkward and the two of you can talk through what that means for you, what boundaries will make you both feel good. If your partner is also sex positive and feels confident in your relationship to discuss issues, there’s a good chance they’ll be glad that you are supporting their friends.
As a bit of an aside: It’s worth noting that there are legitimate objections to the OnlyFans business model. Compared to some other sites, they take a larger cut from performers and they don’t do much to battle content being stolen and reposted elsewhere. It might be worth asking your friends if there is a more direct way to purchase videos and images and cut out the middleman entirely.
In general, I think it would be polite to ask your friends ahead of time – just in case. If they say no, drop it and don’t be weird. If they say yes, then support away and enjoy the sensation of getting turned on, knowing that your porn was raised and harvested ethically.
Have a question for Timaree? Send an email to firstname.lastname@example.org.