The Scene: The Glorious Sounds of Christmas

It’s beginning to look a lot like madness.

It’s beginning to look a lot like madness.

If you’ve read this section of PW with any frequency at all this holiday season (which, of course you have, you’re not a heathen or a degenerate or just an out and out bad person, and like, not just an “I didn’t donate to the hungry kids when I checked out at Whole Foods” kind of bad, but a “I spit on that homeless dude and then pretended to hand him a bag of fruit as a peace offering but really it was just the plastic bananas my grandma keeps in the ceramic bowl on her counter” kind of bad) then you know we’re already feeling the ill effects of all this holiday cheer.

Not that we’ve given up—but even alt-weekly calendar sections can start to feel the “sell, sell, sell” suck after a while.

“But what about the children,” you shout. “What are they to do for fun when even PW is losing its grip on that whole goodwill for all mankind thing?” Well listen close, ya crack nuts (why does that sound so weird? Nutty cracks? Cracker nuts? Crack nut sac — ok nevermind). We’re still onboard this commercialized crapshoot we call the holiday season.

So take this damn concert by the Philadelphia Orchestra featuring conductor and pianist Bramwell Tovey and classic holiday pieces like “Hark! the Herald Angels Sing”, “Silent Night”, and, in true Philly fashion, “The Rittenhouse Carol,”  and let the sounds of oversaturation and money-grubbing merchandising wash over you until your eyes glaze over and the mundane malaise finally sets in, like it clearly already has for us.

Seriously though, we can’t believe in today’s world, with all that’s going on, that we devote so much of ou—

Nutcracker! That’s what we were trying to think of. Nutcracker.

Philadelphia Orchestra: Glorious Sounds of Christmas | Dec. 20. 7pm. Prices vary. Kimmel Center. 300 S. Broad St. philorch.org/

– CAL SETAR | @CALSFRO