Before I discovered legit hookup networks and dating sites that would have me drowning in deep-dish pussy, I made the beginner’s mistake of visiting USASexGuide in search of easy sex.
Call my short venture into the worst hookup site on planet Earth a canon event.
With so many bogus ads, scam profiles, and security leaks; they should be called a scam site instead. My family has never been too proud of my escapades, and they don’t know what I do for work. They’ve been calling me a piece of shit since I was 10. This job was destined for me!
I’m a complete degenerate, so you can trust me to give you the real spill about USASexGuide.
Recounting the past is never fun, but it’s a necessary evil to prevent other punani-seekers from making the same mistakes I did. So, I pinched my nose and dove back into the murky waters.
It’s time to expose USASexGuide.nl as the fraudulent scam platform they pretend not to be.
My Review of USASexGuide.nl
USASexGuide touts their platform as an easy way for similarly horny people to find each other. You can also leave reviews on your latest conquest. Sounds great from their perspective, right?
They’ve joined the ranks of Craigslist, Backpage, and EroticMonkey as pathetic fronts that cater towards escorts, prostitutes, and scammers posing as either of the two.
5 years ago, the US government passed legislation that nuked Backpage under the guise of preventing sex trafficking. Just like the other three platforms I mentioned, USASexGuide.nl is on borrowed time.
They’re A Federal Honeypot
Nothing in life is free, and USASexGuide got the memo. The millisecond I clicked back onto that hellhole, they threw a mandatory membership fee in my face.
That’s all well and good, but if you mix your real name and debit card number with a site that openly endorses prostitution, you’re begging the federal government for a quick and easy conviction.
I’ve been in the game for a long time, and the number one rule of paying for sex is only paying with cold, hard cash.
You might think I’m ranting and raving, but the Feds have seized a staggering number of escort sites in the past few years alone. If you don’t think they’re storing names and numbers in their database, you’re insane. Being a “John” has gotten easier and simultaneously more dangerous.
Bogus Ads & Frequent Scams
USASexGuide.nl offers truly abysmal success rates. They built an entire platform on reposting bogus ads from God knows where.
If you try calling one of the numbers on their site, you might as well buy a gun and start playing Russian Roulette with five bullets in the chamber.
USASexGuide doesn’t vouch for the legitimacy of their advertisements, so you never actually know who you’re getting in touch with. If you get a date with a profile picture from 10 years &
40 pounds ago, call yourself a lucky man. A more likely occurrence is getting scammed online.
You could also end up meeting with her pimp, getting robbed & getting beaten so badly they can’t use your driver’s license picture to identify who you are at the nearest emergency room.
Unsafe Sex & Risk of STDs
If you’re paying someone for sex, you’re not the only person adding mileage to her engine. Odds are, she’s already slept with 5 people before finding time to satisfy your degeneracy.
Pro tip – if you’re gonna hire a hooker, make sure you get laid in the morning.
This won’t stop you from catching syphilis, but at least you’ll get to sleep with her before 6 other people enjoy your sloppy seconds. Is she always safe, even when she’s letting you take the condom off?
The answer is hell no.
Expecting honesty from a hooker is like telling your poor wife that you cheat on a regular basis. There’s no silver lining, saving grace, or positive outcome to be had.
You might be able to get that triple-tiered shot at your local urgent care, but some STDs are with you for life.
Even if you’re a single guy looking for some action, do yourself a favor and purchase industrial-strength condoms. No, the lambskin ones don’t protect against diseases.
I know it’s like eating steak with a balloon over your tongue, but do you really want it to burn every time you take a piss? If you have to weigh the pros and cons here, just dive in raw.
Is USASexGuide Legit? They Got Exposed By the Ripoff Report.
Look, if you think I’m putting together a smear job, why not do a little research of your own? Try RipoffReport.com. I’ve screenshotted two verified reviews that spell out the entire story for you.
As you can see, people have nothing but kind words to say about USASexGuide’s blatant false advertisements, willingness to put a target on the backs of legal massage therapists, and legit character assassinations by proxy.
Is it any wonder the Feds watch their platform like a hawk?
If you don’t feel like zooming in and piecing together the puzzle, allow me to do the storytelling. USASexGuide caught a lot of flack for using the classified ads of legitimate massage therapists to promote their own platform.
These women, who never worked a day in their lives as escorts, were touted as such on USASexGuide.nl. Men thinking they found an easy score would get in touch with these women, get told to go fuck themselves, and post terrible reviews in response.
USASexGuide is the common thread – these women had no idea their ads were posted there, and the men contacting them had no reason to believe these ads were posted without consent. To make a crazy story even crazier, USASexGuide refused to remove these ads from their site.
Yup – that really sounds like a platform you should trust with your debit card information!
Final Verdict – Please, Stay the **** Away From USASexGuide.nl
I’m not God, Jesus, or even a halfway decent person. As such, I have no moral qualms about where you stick your stick. If you’re anything like I was back in the day, you’ve probably thought about soliciting a prostitute once or a hundred times. Even so, USASexGuide will land you in the slammer or emergency room before landing you a hot date with a gorgeous companion.
Stick to casual online dating sites instead. They won’t steal your money, connect you with a disgruntled pimp, or give you a direct phone line to the nearest police precinct.
Unlike our archnemesis, legitimate dating sites never steal other people’s personal information & ads.
Hey, Asshole: I Wanna Get Laid, What Do You Expect Me To Do?
If you still haven’t said “fuck it” and logged onto Pornhub yet; I’ve reviewed a handful of dating platforms you can get comfy with. I’ve also had a little bit of personal success with these four sites! AdultFriendFinder, Ashley Madison, EuroGirlEscorts and KittyAds won’t steer you wrong.
AdultFriendFinder – Largest Casual Dating Site for Quick & Easy Sex
AdultFriendFinder is the world’s largest casual dating site, and they’ve been around since the early days of the Internet.
When they launched back in 1996, their initial goal was to connect like-minded sex partners for no-strings-attached fun.
Over the past quarter-century, they’ve expanded their horizons to create a gargantuan platform with 90+ million members in 130+ countries. You can explore local, regional, and national dating options to your heart’s content! Or you can stay home and drool over their free NSFW live cams.
Either way, their advanced search filters won’t let you down. Sort your latest prospects by hair color, eye color, cup size, height, weight, and other physical attributes.
Users are also given the choice to view ID-verified profiles exclusively. This saves you a lot of time and wasted money!
Read our full AdultFriendFinder review here.
If you want real replies from real people, you’d be wise to get verified yourself. Unfortunately, AFF sometimes attracts fake profiles and catfishers because they offer a low financial barrier to entry.
Speaking of which, you’ll only pay $19.99 per month for unlimited access to
their platform with an annual subscription! For that price, it’s a helluva lot better than Tinder.
The only thing I didn’t like is their grid-style layout, which shows their age inadvertently. You can’t swipe to match here – instead, you have to put in the legwork before getting laid.
I use AFF on a pretty frequent basis, and every once in a while I get a beautiful fish on the hook.
Finally, AFF has an erotic chat room and plenty of steamy stories to keep your little head occupied while you’re browsing. No matter how freaky your desires happen to be, the world
is your oyster at AdultFriendFinder. For some context, they cover all of my perverse fetishes.
Ashley Madison – Because The Sex is Always Better When She’s Taken
As the original site for homewreckers, Ashley Madison launched in 2001 with a motto that laid the groundwork for our modern dating scene – life is short, have an affair. Gen Z certainly got the message.
Getting back on topic, they suffered a serious data breach in 2015 that exposed millions of marriages for the economic farces they were.
Needless to say, lots of wives ended up getting a nasty divorce & Ashley Madison was forced to go into hiding for a couple of years.
They took their time underground to rebrand as an open-minded dating and hookup site for swingers, unicorns, and ethically non-monogamous couples.
If you’re into cuckolding or anything of the sort, you’ll find plenty of husbands and hotwives to play with.
Read our full AshleyMadison review.
As I’ve grown fond of saying, the sex is always better when she’s taken.
Right now, upwards of 70 million users from 130+ countries occupy the platform. Whether you live in the USA or in the Czech Republic, you have a solid chance of finding a compatible playmate!
Better still, Ashley Madison is pretty awesome about cleaning up fake profiles on the platform.
Scammers usually pick easier targets, because this one is priced at a premium. Their MIC fee (member-initiated contact fee) will cost you $29.99 per month, and they’re not finished just yet.
Every message you send will cost additional credits, which I’d recommend purchasing in bulk if you don’t like spending your entire paycheck online.
Their best deal is 500 credits for $169.00, which works out to $0.34 per credit. By that logic, each new message will run you about $1.50.
Ashley Madison might not be cheap, but it’s definitely worth checking out.
EuroGirlsEscort – Find Sexy Companions That Post Their Own Classifieds
If you find yourself on the other side of the Atlantic, in South America, or just about anywhere in South East Asia, you need to checkout EuroGirlEscorts.
Thousands of call girls post their wares on EuroGirlEscorts, and you won’t have to spend any money on the hunt for your perfect match.
Living up to their namesake, they have listings in 45 European countries and 76 global territories. Notably, they cover every region except the USA!
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That might be a bummer for most of our readers, but you can bookmark their site for the next time you’re on vacation.
From France and Finland to Cyprus and Croatia, EuroGirlEscorts owns a monopoly on foreign companionship. Still, there’s an easier way to search for escorts!
When you create a new account with EuroGirlEscorts and become a VIP member, you’ll have access to exclusive profiles and ID-verified accounts. It’s hard to know who’s real and who’s a police officer, so I’d highly suggest taking the time to create a new account. After all, it’s free!
Creating a new account also gives you free access to live NSFW cams, live escorts, and steamy video calls. When you click on their “Meet & Fuck” tab, you’ll get a better picture of who’s online and ready to schedule a hot date right now.
The only bad thing I noticed was a few call girls who had duplicate profiles, but that just gave me another excuse to reach out if I didn’t get a response with my profile picture.
Of course, you could also call the numbers on those spicy advertisements at the top of their site’s homepage.
KittyAds – Completely Free Classifieds Service for Escorts and Clientele
Unlike EuroGirlEscorts, KittyAds attracts US-based providers and red-blooded clientele for sexy liaisons.
They cover all 50 states and Washington, D.C. with fully independent escorts. Their platform is completely free to use, and you won’t even have to make an account to get started!
I did some one-handed research to find a provider and was pleasantly surprised by my options! Although I came across a number of obviously fake profiles, most of the call girls here weren’t demanding any sort of deposit or upfront payment (which is a major red flag if you’re not aware).
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You can view their phone numbers, email addresses, and relevant contact information directly on the site. It’s easy to move conversations and schedule appointments on a more personal basis, but users who’d rather keep contact on the site can use KittyAds’ messaging feature.
This feature puts KittyAds a step ahead of other escort directories, and they’re on a more level playing field with sites like AdultFriendFinder & Ashley Madison. While making an account isn’t required to view contact information, you’ll need to do that before sending messages on-site.
Luckily, it took me all of 30 seconds to create a new account and get on with my perving. They differentiate their platform as a truly free classifieds site for escorts and people who love them!
Even if you’re not in the United States, you’re covered. KittyAds is operational in Canada, Africa, Oceania, certain parts of Asia, most of the Middle East, Latin America, and Europe.
Final Verdict for Best Hookup Site? AFF Wins!
AdultFriendFinder is my first suggestion for most people just because of how massive their user base happens to be. If you can’t find a compatible companion with 90+ million people to choose from, I’d recommend taking a shower & losing about 100 pounds before you try your luck again.
In all seriousness, AFF is inclusive for everyone. They promise affordable subscription prices and guarantee the legitimacy of their advertisements, so you’ll never hear them mentioned in the same sentence as USASexGuide. No matter what you’re looking for, they have everything.
From casual sex and cost-based companionship to long-term FWB situations & affair partners, AdultFriendFinder is a one-stop-shop for guys (and girls) looking to get their dicks wet. Still, Ashley Madison shines the spotlight on homewreckers, unicorns and swingers for freaky fun.
If you’re trying to become one of those passport bros they always talk about on Reddit, Euro Girls Escort gives you a taste of 100% foreign kitty.
Just don’t be surprised if she doesn’t speak amazing English. That’s not what you’re there for.
KittyAds cuts right to the chase with 100% free classifieds for escorts and clientele! They have options in the US, Canada, Europe, Asia, the Middle East, Latin America, and even Africa. It really depends on what you’re looking for, but your dick won’t itch once it’s all said and done.
So, don’t settle for USASexGuide – instead, explore your options and get laid more frequently on casual dating sites. Again, AdultFriendFinder (AFF) takes the cake for most horndogs!
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