So you want to know how to get your ex back.
You’ve been in relationships when you knew the other person wasn’t right for you, but every now and then, you’ll leave them and realize you made a huge mistake.
Alternatively, your ex may have left you, but you’re confident that you still have a chance to have a happy life together.
While there are no promises that your ex will warmly welcome you back, there are some things you may do to get them back into a relationship.
You may have done everything you could to get your ex back, but chances are you went about it the wrong way, as most people do when they’re desperate and emotional.
While the reason for the separation is important, practically anyone may get their former partner back permanently. It’s only a matter of being persistent but not needy or obsessive while hitting the correct buttons at the same time.
This is how you get your ex back FOR REAL.
1. Give them space
Yes, you’re looking for a way to get your ex back, not push them further away. However, if you want to win back your ex, you must give them time and distance.
Calling them nonstop, pleading for their return, crying on the phone, and all of the other things we do when we’re hurting them is a huge turnoff.
If your ex dumped you, it’s much more of a turnoff. They’re plainly looking for a break from your relationship. It’s not a good idea to text and call all the time.
Allowing your ex some time and space allows you to reflect on the relationship. It also allows your ex to miss you for a longer period of time. They’re not going to miss someone who won’t leave them alone.
Besides, taking a step back and leaving them alone may give them the impression that they are missing you. At this point, they may start remembering the positive aspects of your relationship.
And, while you’re probably reading this because you’re convinced your ex is The
One, it’s possible they aren’t.
It may come as a surprise but giving them time and space can allow you to reflect on the connection – what worked and what didn’t.
Then you know you have something worth fighting for if you still miss them. The Ex Factor Guide goes into more detail about this.
2. Apply the No Contact Rule (yes, even on social media)
This one can be difficult, especially if you and your ex were together for a long time.
It’s difficult to quit talking to someone who has been there for you for months, if not years, but is no longer in your life. You may have relied on them for emotional support for a long period, and quitting is difficult.
This guideline goes a step further than the previous one in terms of allowing people room.
You can give your ex space and still communicate with them on occasion, but a no contact time will ensure that you are not reminded of them at all. It’s all part of the strategy to get your ex back quickly.
This guideline serves two purposes: it benefits both you and your ex.
With this rule in place, you may begin to focus on your life without your ex and rebuild yourself. It’s heartbreaking to lose a decent person and being reminded of them every day when they post on social media can drive you insane.
It also provides an opportunity for your ex to miss you.
If you spent a long time with your ex, you may have established an identity that is divided between two persons.
You may feel uneasy, nervous, or a sensation of emptiness once you begin no contact. You might feel as if you’ve lost your identity, as if a piece of yourself has vanished.
If you want to re-establish your relationship with your ex (which you obviously do because you’re still reading), you should avoid making contact with them but keep their contact information.
The same may be said for social media. On social media, keep them as friends, but hide their accounts.
3. Attempt to become a person you can be proud of during the period of no contact. Your ex won’t be able to resist this person.
This is where the majority of folks go wrong. If you don’t try to make a constructive change in your life during this time, no contact will be of no help.
Even after a no-contact period, if you want to sit at home and be miserable for the next month, nothing will change.
Yes, you need to grieve after a breakup, and yes, spending some time alone, grieving and examining your relationship may be beneficial.
You must, however, strike a balance with things that bring you joy. You need to get out and live your life. You must determine what makes you happy and then pursue it. You must learn to be content in the absence of your ex.
If you’re not following The Ex Factor Guide, which helps speed up the process, it could take many weeks or even months to get your ex back. But before you can get your ex back, you need to reclaim your identity.
Here’s how to go about it.
Make some positive changes in your appearance
Changing your physical appearance for the better will offer you a new look. You’re going to feel brand new, and you’re going to feel a whole lot better.
And when your ex sees you after the no-contact period is up, they will see a different person.
Here are a few options for you to consider.
- Get yourself a haircut. Simply go to a hairstylist and inquire about current trends.
- Cleaning your teeth is a must. A lovely smile is really appealing.
- Make the most of your life by becoming in the greatest form of your life. Go to the gym and work up a sweat. This is also beneficial to your mental health since exercise generates endorphins, which make you feel good.
- Buy some new clothes. They’ll make you feel a lot better about yourself.
Whatever you do, don’t take any dramatic measures right now.
You don’t want to make any bodily alterations right now that you’ll come to regret later in life (like getting a tattoo of a broken heart).
Make some positive changes in your mentality
When it comes to getting your ex back, being happy and confident is perhaps the most significant factor.
You must understand that contentment and self-confidence are something you can get by working on yourself.
Here are some suggestions to help you achieve greater self-assurance and become a happier person.
Allow yourself to grieve for a while
We understand how difficult it is to be happy following a split. This time is, in some ways, necessary for you.
Every day, you set aside some time to grieve. Go ahead and feel sorry for yourself if that’s what you want to do. However, make sure you take steps to help yourself feel good about yourself.
Write a journal
Make a list of your thoughts and feelings.
Writing is therapeutic, and it will most likely assist you in releasing all of the feelings that have been building up inside of you.
Expressive writing has been found in studies to aid in regaining your composure under stressful situations.
Spend time with your family and friends
Spend time with the people you care about.
Your friends and family are the ones that are always willing to help you and like spending time with you. Go out with them and have a nice time.
Make an effort to meditate
Be alert of your surroundings. Recognize your flaws and talents. You should be pleased with yourself.
Accept yourself for who you are and don’t try to change who you are. That is the essence of self-assurance.
Neediness (which is quite ugly) stems from self-doubt. Confidence, on the other hand, stems from self-awareness and acceptance.
Make plans to go on a date
Go out on a couple dates before breaking off all contact with your ex. It’s critical that you gain some perspective right now, and meeting new people is the best way to do so.
Whatever you do, DON’T contact your ex’s friends or family to reach them.
If they can’t reach their former directly, many people fall into the trap of contacting their ex’s loved ones. 90% of the time, this accomplishes nothing but add fuel to the fire.
You’ll simply irritate your ex and make yourself appear even more desperate for their attention, which is the last thing you want to do at this point.
You’ll usually receive a brief reaction from your ex if you do this; they’ll probably respond with an angry message urging you to “stop contacting my friend/sister/coworker etc.”
Keep a level mind and be strategic instead. The only time it’s appropriate to contact an ex’s family is if there’s a true emergency that needs to be communicated.
You’d be wasting your time if you tried to attract their attention by utilizing their loved ones. Following the strategy in the The Ex Factor Guide can help you with that.
4. Ask yourself the right questions about the relationship
It is critical that you maintain some perspective throughout the process of reuniting with an ex.
You’ll need to go into your ex’s head to figure out what they’re thinking at any given time, in addition to trying to figure out what went wrong and preparing properly every step of the way.
This applies to your previous relationship during any disputes or problems you may have had, as well as moving forward while attempting to win back their love.
You’ll need to follow the strategy in The Ex Factor Guide to comprehend what your ex felt or feels, and to come up with the correct approach to connect and touch their heart.
It can help you understand why both of you felt a certain way about key situations that caused your relationship to be strained.
You’ll be in the best possible position to comprehend what went wrong and what your ex’s true and hidden expectations are – if you consider each other’s romantic past, childhood, education, worries, insecurities, desires, and aspirations, even if they can’t express it themselves!
5. Be self-critical
It can be difficult to admit that we made a mistake or that we could have done better. When you engage in such a process, your ego takes a knock, and you may feel worse before feeling better.
However, reuniting with an ex will necessitate putting your pride aside and determining exactly where you went wrong and what drove you to act the way you did.
What’s more frightening is learning you have deeper difficulties, ones that go beyond your prior relationship.
You may not know where to begin in attempting to tackle these concerns, and you may rapidly feel overwhelmed or powerless. But don’t give in to your worries; instead, urge yourself to confront these concerns.
As soon as you begin this process and begin to discover exactly what has been holding you back, you will feel incredibly empowered.
There are numerous excellent tools available, including books, videos, and specialists such as ourselves, who may assist you in overcoming certain deep-seated challenges. The Ex Factor Guide can be of great help, too. However, you must have the willpower to confront your flaws and engage in a reform process!.
Were you too needy?
When you set the objective of getting back with an ex, it’s critical to understand where things went wrong! Being overly clingy is the most typical error people make that leads to a breakup.
You are so in love with the person you are with that you lose control of your emotions and become emotionally dependent on them. To put it another way, you require their attention and approval in order to be happy or pleased on a daily basis.
Is it true that you’ve completely abandoned your social life? Do you no longer socialize with your friends?
Did you find yourself continuously requesting your ex’s time in order to conduct specific activities together rather than alone? If you replied yes to any of the previous questions, you were probably very needy.
Your ex began to feel as if you were becoming a burden, rather than appreciating your efforts to connect and the sacrifices you’ve made.
Furthermore, you were no longer a source of challenge for them, and you began to feel undervalued and even disposable in their eyes.
Were you too distant?
Some folks are at the polar opposite end of the spectrum. Their error was not that they were overly needy, but rather that they entirely ignored their ex and their relationship.
You may have invested all of your energy in your career or just been overworked; you may have spent too much time with friends or devoted the majority of your energy and time to a pastime or interest.
Whatever the circumstances, you clearly did not provide your ex with the attention and care that they required and deserved.
You’ll be better able to understand what you need to do to prove to your ex that you’ve changed once you’ve pinpointed the issue that caused them to lose faith in your ability to make them happy in the long run.
Remember that getting back together with an ex can take time, depending on how bad things went between you and your ex, how the split happened, or whether you made huge blunders (such begging, weeping, etc.) in the hopes of getting back together quickly!
6. Regain your self-esteem
Even extremely strong men and women lose all of their self-esteem after a breakup. It’s difficult to deal with the disappointment of being rejected by someone you love and care about.
Your entire world can be shattered in some circumstances, especially after years of marriage, and you are left to pick up the pieces.
So, whenever you think, “I want my ex back because they are the most amazing person in the world and quite likely my soul mate,” remember that you are also amazing!
If your ex fell for you the first time, if you were able to inspire and seduce them, it suggests you have a lot to give.
Keep that in mind as you pursue your goal!
You, too, deserve to be appreciated, and it’s critical to spend a lot of time with people you love and trust, and who love you back, in order to restore some comfort and security in the days and weeks following a split.
7. Be prepared to change
If you are not willing to stretch your comfort zone and progress in a positive way, you will not be able to achieve your objective of being with the one you love.
It may seem obvious, yet many people want to rekindle their relationship with someone they care about while doing little to improve some of their undesirable habits or behaviors.
If you haven’t sorted out some of the problematic behaviors from your previous relationship, there aren’t usually any magic tricks or quick fixes that can bring the one you love back into your life.
So, whenever you think you want ex back, ask yourself if you’re willing to change or evolve in a positive way in order to make your ex want to be with you again.
Anything is possible if you are willing to venture outside of your comfort zone and, in some cases, revisit some of your preconceived thoughts or views about yourself and your ex.
8. What if they left you for someone else?
Even if your ex dumped you for someone else, there are still ways to get them back! In these situations, getting your ex back is obviously more difficult, but not impossible.
Your ability to manage your emotions will be one of the deciding factors. The thought of knowing that the one you love is in someone else’s arms can drive you insane; therefore, it will be even more of a roller coaster than you expect.
While you chat to your ex, when you’re on social media (for your own sake and sanity), and even when friends and family try to bring up the fact that your ex is seeing someone else, you’ll have to act as if that other person doesn’t exist.
Talking about their new boyfriend or girlfriend will accomplish nothing positive.
Instead, spend your efforts on casually re-establishing contact with your ex. You’ll need to be patient and resilient during this process if you want to reunite with the person you love.
The objective will be to gradually demonstrate to your ex that you are better equipped than anybody else to make them happy.
When you’re around your ex, try to be positive and capitalize on the fact that you have a shared history: comedy, anecdotes from your time together, or even small conversation can help you make your ex feel at ease and want to spend time with you.
Time will actually work in your favor because the chances are that your ex’s new relationship will be nothing more than a rebound;
over time, your ex will realize that the grass isn’t always greener on the other side of the fence and that you were not the root of their misery!
Bottom line on How to Get your Ex Back
The fact that you and your ex were once together is enough to indicate that you both found each other attractive as a partner and that it may happen again.
It’s also worth noting that, while you may believe your ex has moved on and is ready to start a long-term relationship with someone else, it’s not only conceivable, but also likely that they have strong feelings about reconnecting with you.
Many people hide their true feelings in order to avoid being exposed.
You may surely place yourself in a wonderful position to get back with your ex if you can remain patient and are clever enough to apply the appropriate methods and push the right buttons.
ALSO READ: How to get over your ex