How to Get Over Your Ex and Stop Obsessing Over Your Past Relationship

how to get over your ex

Listen, you’ve got a problem – you know it, and we know it. You wouldn’t be here if you didn’t. It’s all good, we’re all buddies here, and the internet is here to help you yet again.

And no, you don’t just need to land that perfect point you’ve come up with after the argument or just make sure your ex is equally miserable.

You need to figure out how to get over your ex and for good.

Want to know why? Because it’s not a one-up game or a competition – it’s real life. And the sooner you get over your ex, the closer you are to a new relationship with the right person.

You’re already one step closer than when you were in that miserable past relationship, so let’s go take the other steps and get you there.

10 Tips on How to Get Over Your Ex

Figuring out how to get over your ex is not a light-bulb moment – it comes as an effect of continuous work and personal growth.

As with all big goals, you will split this into smaller steps and ace the grief over your past relationship like a pro.

Here are the steps to follow to ace the ‘how to get over your ex’ game and start the healing process:

  • No contact rule is a thing
  • Tame your social media use
  • But don’t hide
  • Fall back on your support system
  • Have a heart-to-heart…with yourself!
  • Treat yourself
  • Pick up new hobbies
  • Start a new relationship with yourself
  • Get (back) on dating sites
  • Seek help from a relationship expert

1. No Contact Rule Is a Thing

You two are probably already not speaking, and if you are, you shouldn’t be. It’s OK to leave it on good terms (we’re not in high school anymore), but you shouldn’t act like you are friends now – at least not just yet.

The ‘no contact rule’ is there for a reason, and we’re big fans of it.

You, on the other hand, don’t have to like it right now, but you should go by it and cease all contact with your ex if you want to start nailing the whole how to get over your ex thing.

And, yes, the no contact thing extends to contacting mutual friends when you know they’re with your former partner and staging ‘accidental’ run-ins when you’re looking your best. RESIST THE URGE.

2. Tame Your Social Media Use

Speaking of figuring out how to get over your ex and stop obsessing over the past relationship, the ‘no contact’ rule also extends to social media and to just watching.

Don’t social media stalk your previous partner.

We understand the urge, but we do not condone it. Nothing you see there will help you move on or feel good.

And nothing you see there will be of any use, really, as they likely know you’re watching or are maybe posting with that in mind. Especially if they’re one of those who send subliminal messages through music and whatnot – you want to stay away.

You’re only going to get annoyed and more emotionally involved that you don’t get to respond with YOUR TRUTH, and that’s not good for anyone’s mental health.

We bet you can recite their entire social media profile by now, so go ahead, take one last look at it and don’t go back there again.

You know how it goes – far from the eye, far from the heart; out of sight, out of mind. This will help you stop obsessing over your ex-partner and the past relationship.

3. But Don’t Hide

You should try to cut back on social media in general for the first few weeks and avoid your ex altogether, but you shouldn’t hide.

There’s no reason to – you did nothing wrong (hopefully).

When people struggle with a past relationship and getting over an ex, they sometimes tend to withdraw themselves. This is wrong as it doesn’t help all those intense emotions go away, nor does it aid the healing process.

It’s just gonna make you engulfed in those emotions.

Make it a point to spend time with your friends and family, as it will make you feel empowered and remind you of who you are on days when you’re not sure anymore.

Live your life as you would normally.

4. Fall Back on Your Support System

friends support

Your friends are a big part of how to get over your ex and a form of self-care. That’s what support systems are for in life – to pick you up and help you get back on your feet.

They’re who you should call for a talk when you’re feeling down.

You can talk to your close friends about anything regarding your past romantic relationship and all the emotions you’ve got.

If you don’t feel like talking, you can always just go out and get hammered. It’s alright – it’s all part of how to get over your ex, and we’ve all done it. You may even make some new friendships!

Just don’t drink and drive lest you end up on those cop-cam YouTube channels or worse.

5. Have a Heart-To-Heart… With Yourself

There’s no figuring out how to get over your ex and moving on with your life before you’re ready to let it go and get some closure.

Now, you won’t always get the kind of closure you want right now.

You won’t always get the apology you think you need from the other person, or you won’t even get the other person to understand your point of view.

But guess what? That’s alright.

Oftentimes, the only conversation we need to have when a relationship ends are the little heart-to-heart talks with ourselves.

Whatever questions or concerns you have about the past relationship or your partner, you can likely find them in yourself.

Think about what drew you to that person, what you liked about the relationship, and what you didn’t like. Ask yourself what you didn’t like about that person, but also ask yourself what you didn’t like about you in the past previous relationship.

What WOULD you like?

Figuring that out will not only help you learn how to get over your ex but also help you get to know yourself better, have healthier future relationships, and happier life overall.

6. Treat Yourself

All this hard work on self-confidence and self-care deserves some rewards, and you deserve to treat yourself!

Now is not the time to cheap out and save money for more important things in life.

It’s time to treat yourself with that bag you’ve always wanted, eat more ice cream, or have a break from some responsibilities. To get it and not feel guilty about it.

Focus all your attention and energy on the person that matters the most to you – YOU.

Indulge yourself a little. Buy some things you’ve been eyeing but wouldn’t be the wisest fiscal choices – you deserve it.

But don’t go into debt.

Keep spending, eating, and whatever else within your means and normal limits. Treat yourself, but don’t spoil yourself because that’s not healthy either.

7. Pick up New Hobbies

You don’t have to be a relationship coach to know that distracting yourself from those complicated feelings will eventually help you get over your ex.

Nothing will help you forget about your feelings as picking up a new hobby.

Have you always wanted to learn how to sew? Or have you always wanted to start your own cooking blog or pick up a new language?

Well, guess who’s got time now? The broken-up girl/boy.

Look into classes or courses on the subject of your interest. You can likely find something in your area and even ask a friend to tag along.

Going to classes physically would help you feel better as you would need to get ready and go outside instead of just lying in your pajamas.

Not to mention that you may even make new friends.

But if you live in a remote area or nothing is available, you can turn to online courses, too. Those are a great way to learn new skills, and often you can find something for free if you can’t afford to pay.

8. Start a New Relationship With Yourself

Listen, all relationships end eventually, one way or the other. The first thing relationship experts will tell you is that your most important relationship is the one with yourself.

You will realize that as you learn how to get over your ex.

The relationship you have with yourself lasts a lifetime. That’s why getting to know yourself early on is important so you can have a fulfilling life.

Not to mention that you can’t have good relationships with others if you don’t have a good relationship with yourself.

This could be a good opportunity to learn more about yourself and how to take better care of yourself.

The relationships we have with our intimate partners bring a lot out of us – some things we didn’t even know were there, good and bad.

Analyze your feelings, behaviors, and wants to understand yourself better.

Also, focus more of your attention on you. Invest in your physical and mental health, and improve yourself. You matter.

Loving yourself and learning how to take care of yourself is a process, but now is just as good a time as any to start, and it WILL help you with future relationships.

9. Get (Back) On the Best Dating Sites

swipe gurl

When is the right time to start dating again? Even the relationship experts have differing opinions on the matter.

Ultimately, the best time for a new partner is when you sense it’s time.

But that doesn’t mean you should wait to completely get over your ex before you hit some of the best dating sites out there.

You can hit your preferred dating app as soon as you want. Obviously, you won’t be looking for the next relationship right away.

But there are things to be said about human contact (or bodily contact).

It can help you figure out how to get over your ex simply by seeing that there are MANY other options out there, even better options.

Being on the best dating apps or hookup sites can also give your self-confidence a much-needed boost.

Just don’t rush it or feel like there’s a set timeline by which you need to snatch a new partner and be in a relationship again. Take it slowly and follow your rhythm.

10. Seek Help From a Relationship Expert

Sometimes, our feelings get the best of us, and we just can’t seem to move on. Or worse – we end up being depressed and with all sorts of mental issues.

That’s OK, too. It happens.

There’s nothing wrong with seeking help from a relationship coach or even a licensed therapist if you’re feeling you can’t deal with your emotions by yourself.

A relationship expert can help you find out how to get over your ex and deal with the feelings that overwhelm you.

If all else fails, professional help is always available.

How to Get Over Your Ex: FAQs

When it comes to how to get over your ex, everything you read will come up short, as it’s not easy to get rid of strong feelings.

To make our guide on how to get over your ex more complete, we decided to include answers to some of the most common questions on the topic.

What’s the Best Way to Get Over Your Ex?

The best way to get over your ex is to:

  • Cease all contact
  • Tame your social media use
  • But don’t hide
  • Fall back on your support system
  • Have a heart-to-heart… with yourself!
  • Treat yourself
  • Pick up new hobbies
  • Start a new relationship with yourself
  • Get (back) on the best dating sites
  • Seek help from a relationship expert

Is It a Good Idea to Start Dating to Get Over Your Ex?

It’s a good idea to start dating to get over your ex if you feel like you’re ready. You don’t have to jump into another relationship right away, but you can use the best dating apps to have some fun. It’s all good as long as you’re honest with yourself and others.

Should I Go On Dating Apps to Get Over My Ex?

You should get on dating apps to get over your ex if you feel like it. Mingling on some of the best dating apps and sites can boost your self-esteem and allow you to meet new people. Just make sure you’re honest with yourself and others, and take it easy.

You Will Get Over Your Ex in Time; We Promise

Likely this isn’t the first article you’ve read on how to get over your ex. And all of them may seem to be coming up short.

As we said, there is no magic solution to wash away all your emotions and bring you instant happiness.

But there is hope and a future, and you will feel love again.

And you WILL get over your ex – we promise you that. Meanwhile, we hope these tips on getting over your ex will help guide your way and set you off to a fresh start.

We wish you the best of luck and also the determination needed to do the mental work so you can later reap the benefits on some of the best dating sites.

OR READ: How to get your ex back

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