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Calendar: Nov. 29-Dec.6



Social | Historic Holidays in Old City

Presented by Old City District, this is a celebration of all things holiday and historical. America’s most historic square mile will transform before your very eyes into its own triumphant holiday market, including a window decorating contest for the more competitive among us. Complete with a tree lighting in the courtyard at the Betsy Ross House, this event features music, seasonal sips and bites, a holiday tree designed by Old City’s Petit Jardin en Ville and, of course, the Little Rebel herself. | 5pm. Free. Betsy Ross House. 239 Arch St. phillyholidayfestival.com/historic-holidays

Social | Ladies Night Out

It’s ladies night, and we’re feelin’ right, oh yes it’s ladies night (oh what a night). If you don’t get that reference, then we’re not really sure what to say. Maybe we’ll just apologize, considering the brain space it would take to keep hold of that song and those lyrics has probably been replaced by episodes of “Paw Patrol” or endless repeats of that freakin’ Baby Shark song. Either way, it actually is ladies night at the Phila FOP Lodge 5, hosted by Newspaper Media Group, and featuring a whole host of kickass vendors. So ladies, get out and make a night of it. | 6pm. $10. Phila FOP Lodge 5. 11630 Caroline Road. nmg.ticketleap.com/

Social | Becoming: An Intimate Conversation with Michelle Obama

If you’re a regular reader of our humble little alt-weekly, then you’re probably already well aware of the many issues, like malignant tumors, that plague both our city and our country. It’s not content we want to produce, stories we want to write, but it’s a space we feel is necessary to fill, and who better to fill it than us? But we’re not alone in this fight. Though it doesn’t seem it, plenty of people in positions of power – people like former First Lady Michelle Obama – are determined to do something about it. Same team, same fight, same goal. | 8pm. Prices vary. Wells Fargo Center. 3601 S. Broad St. ev15.evenue.net/

Learn | Fake Friends: A Panel Discussion on Art History and Comparison

What comprises a comparison? Can two things ever truly be compared? What facets of determination decide which is which and what falls where? While you’re not likely to find easy answers to any of these (admittedly convoluted) questions at Fake Friends, you will find a lively discussion on just what kind of cultural conundrum comparisons present. Viewed through the prism of art history, this panel will try to deduce the unforeseen failings of comparisons, and determine if a “global modern” really is possible. | 6pm. Free. Institute of Contemporary Art. 118 S. 36th St. eventbrite.com/e/fake-friends

Music | The Internet

On the one hand, it does seem a little presumptuous for a band to call themselves “The Internet.” Like, the Internet with a capital “I” is already a thing. A pretty huge thing, in fact, that dominates our daily lives. So when you name your band for that very same thing, you certainly seem to be saying something about your talent, your music and, perhaps more importantly, your staying power as a cultural entity. Or, as is the case with this band, it comes about as a joke. Fortunately for them, the joke – and the music – are really fucking good. | 8pm. $32.50. The Fillmore. 29 E. Allen St. concerts1.livenation.com/


Social  | Holiday Tree Lighting Powered by PECO

Powered by PECO (ohh, we see what you did there, PECO, very clever, very clever indeed), this tree lighting is sure to be the splendid start to the holiday season you’ve been waiting for. Join PECO (and, for some strange reason, contestants from recent seasons of both “The Voice” and “America’s Got Talent”) at the Blue Cross RiverRink this Friday for an evening of lights, laughs and … what was that? Oh, they buzzed us! Does that mean we win? Oh. Oh, OK. Sorry. | 6pm. Free. Blue Cross RiverRink. 101 S. Columbus Blvd. delawareriverwaterfront.com/

Music | ABBArama

Those crazy pop music-making Swedes are about to enjoy a dance-themed tribute the likes of which they probably never expected, or wanted. Suit up in your best ‘70s disco gear and head out to The Dolphin Tavern for an evening of ABBA-themed dancing and drinking, all played out against a vinyl-only backdrop, the likes of which only a true “Dancing Queen” could fully and completely love and appreciate. | 10pm. $5. The Dolphin Tavern. 1539 S. Broad St. dolphinphilly.com/abbarama

Social | The Ice Bar

Strawberry Mansion. Avenue of the Arts. Lemon Hill. Here in Philly, we’ve got something of a knack for naming things. If it involves fruit or food and a vague description of a specific geographic feature, then it’s probably in Philly. Take Lemon Hill Mansion for instance. A historic home in Fairmount Park, Lemon Hill Mansion is as unique, and therefore Philly, as they come. The fact that there’s also a bar is just further proof that this is a Philly institution, through and through. | 5pm. $5. Lemon Hill Mansion. 1 Boathouse Row. a-very-philly-christmas.ticketleap.com/

Movie | ‘The Little Mermaid’

Ariel deserved better. Let’s be serious, as far as Disney Princes go, Eric’s kind of a bum. He’s a dancer and a singer who likes the sea more than ladies and his close confidant Grimsby even more than that. Plus, he’s kind of, well, slow on the uptake. But then, so is Ariel. Which isn’t really their fault – it’s just that there wasn’t a lot of space for nuance in cartoon movies based loosely on centuries-old fairy tales and tailored for maximum merchandising efficiency. But kids love it, so there’s that. | 730pm. Free. St. Hubert Catholic High School for Girls. 7320 Torresdale Ave. nephilachamber.com/little-mermaid

Social | ColorVision

No, this isn’t some documentary on the rise of color TV capabilities, though that’d be interesting … we think. No, this is just your standard multimedia art exhibit featuring work from an array of artists and spanning a number of mediums. So go, drink, talk and use your critical eye to lay waste to any cultural neophytes unlucky enough to cross paths with your prodigious penchant for art appreciation. Or, ya know, just be nice and supportive and tell everyone they’re doing their best, because they are. | 9pm. $10. ColorSpace Labs. 1714 N. Mascher St. aayush40.typeform.com/


Social | Holiday Garden Railway Nights

We’ve always wondered what, exactly, the connection between miniature train sets and holiday decorations is. Where the nexus point between tiny locomotives and evergreens doused in electricity lies. Maybe it’s as simple as toy trains once being a present, which of course sits nestled ever so gently beneath the tree. The logical next step, we guess, is for the train to then be part of the decorations. Does that make sense? We don’t know. Probably, it’s just a product of clever marketing by some suit-clad, whiskey-clutching Don Draper-wanna be, which really kinda steals away some of the magic. | 4:30pm. Prices vary. Morris Arboretum. 100 E. Northwestern Ave. experience.morrisarboretum.org/

Shopping | Clover Market’s Holiday Market at PAFA

Ahh, December. The month of miracles. Or perceived miracles. Maybe more like, hoped-for-but-never-quite-confirmed miracles. Mostly it’s just a month with a lot of holiday hoopla attached to it, so the miracles are mostly make believe, but make believing is better than not believing at all. So. Start your season the Philly way by heading out to this holiday-themed market and get that first heaping helping of hoopla out of the way quick. | 11am. Free. Pennsylvania Academy of Fine Arts. 128 N. Broad St. theclovermarket.com/holidayinfo

Shopping | Northern Liberties & Fishtown Holiday Shopping Spree

Since when do any of us need a reason to go out and spend money like it’s the last, best purchase we’ll ever make? Seriously, with all the shopping and special offers going around, you’d think we capitalists are having trouble selling off all the needless nonsense we (or, more accurately, some cheap foreign country) manufactures. And while we’re not having any issues of the sort, we do enjoy spending money. Just call it a “spree” and knock 10 percent off and our chances of joining up to pig out increase exponentially. | 11am. Free. Northern Liberties. 700 N. 3rd St. artstarphilly.com/nolibs/

Social | Philly Queer Zine Fest

Hosted by the Queering the Shelves podcast, this event is tailored to all things other – other people’s books, other people’s stories, the sense of otherness that can only come from falling well outside the expected norm. Being other isn’t all bad though. You learn important lessons about life early. And those lessons can so often become art, become stories that serve to help the next generation of Other. So go out and listen. Read. Share. Learn. | 430pm. Free. Book Corner. 311 N. 20th St. philly.carpe-diem.events/queer-zine

Social | Santa Paws

Looking for a light-hearted way to give back to those in need this holiday season? Got a dog (or cat, we know how photogenic those felines can be) desperate to meet The Man in Red aka Big Poppa Bowful aka Sir Clause-A-Lot aka The Artist Formerly Known as Kringle? Well, look no further than Santa Paws 2018, where you can get a professional photo taken of your beloved pet with Big Beard, Bigger Belly, and give back to Save Me!, a local shelter dedicated to saving pups, kits and everything in between. | 1pm. Free. Kimpton Hotel. 117 S. 17th St. evensi.us/santa-paws


Learn | Make Your Own Butterbear Bath Bomb

We’ll be honest – we don’t know what a butterbear bath bomb actually is. Like, of course we know what a bath bomb is. And we can probably make an educated guess as to what a “butterbear” is – again, some kind of semi-clever marketing term meant to make buyers of bath bombs feel warm and soft and so freakin’ buttery they’ll feel like Julia Child’s famous boeuf bourguignon while they’re simmering away in the tub. But we love the idea of making stuff, so go discover your inner soaper. | Noon. Free. LUSH Cosmetics. 1521 Walnut St. philly.carpe-diem.events/

Social | South Street Headhouse Tree Lighting

There are a lot of tree lightings in Philadelphia. That’s not meant to be a judgment, of course, simply a statement of fact. Tree lightings are fun and festive and a good time for every member of the family, so it makes sense – that’s why we include them here. They’re cheap (aka free) and they provide a little something for everyone. But, dang … we’d definitely be lying if we said we expected there to be this many different tree lightings. It’s impressive, really. But also kind of tiring. Hooray, holidays? | 4pm. Free. Historic Headhouse Shambles. 200 Lombard St. southstreet.com/south-street-christmas/

Learn | Free First Sunday Family Day

Join PECO and The Barnes Foundation for a completely free first Sunday, jam-packed with family-friendly events and honoring women in the arts. Art making, performances and discussions featuring women creators sharing their craft, skill and passion lead the day, but, as so often tends to be the case, this event is all in what you make of it. Choreographers, jazz vocalists and plenty more creators and experts will be in attendance to talk you through the transference of soul to art. | 10am. Free. The Barnes Foundation. 2025 Benjamin Franklin Pkwy. barnesfoundation.org/free-first-sunday

Social | The Holidays at Greensgrow Farms

This is your chance to shop local, and support those small businesses that make so many Philly neighborhoods so worth living in. Head out to the Greensgrow compound on Sunday afternoon and enjoy a few hours of music and food and gift ideas ranging from jewelry to ceramics to wood working to accessories, green gifts, bath/body … stuff, Greensgrow-made edible and growing gifts, and whole bunch more. | 10am. Free. Greensgrow Farms. 2501 E. Cumberland St. greensgrow.org/holidaybazaar/

Social | Caroling Night at Gorgas Park

If you’re wondering what to do with the kiddies on the first slow Sunday afternoon in December, then wonder no more – it’s caroling night at Gorgas Park and you and the whole family crew are invited. You’ll enjoy hot chocolate and cookies, and a performance by Merge Dance Studio, a special guest appearance by a fat guy in a red suit (we’d be more specific, but he’s requested anonymity for the purposes of increased suspense) and, of course, all the carols your mouth can mangle. | 5pm. Free. Gorgas Park. 6300 Ridge Ave. mommypoppins.com/caroling-night


Learn | South Philly Market District Public Hearing

As we all learned recently via the 2018 Midterm Elections, making your voice heard, getting out and getting involved are the only sure ways to create a lasting impact, to make certain that the world of the future is shaped in an image that you want and support, and not an image that’s long past its prime. So if you’ve got opinions on the development of the S. 9th Street Historic Italian Market Business District, then make your way to Capitolo Playground for a as-boring-as-it-is-important community meeting. | 7pm. Free. Capitolo Playground. 900 Federal St.

Social | Hanukkah Service in Headhouse Square

Baruch atah  … wait, are we in the right place? Probably not. But maybe. We do smell fried potatoes and our mother’s disappointment, so we just may actually be in the right place after all. Or we’re still at the PW household and never left – thanks for the crippling self-doubt, ma. But whether your mom’s a lover or a l’chaim-er (or both), there’s room enough for all at the Headhouse Square annual Hanukkah Service. Come for the religion, stay for the shame – it’s just how we were raised. | 430pm. Free. Headhouse Square Fountain. 400 S. 2nd St. phillyshul.com/

Music | Bob Dylan

We have an insane theory that we want to run by you. Ready? OK. Bob Dylan and Adam Sandler are the same person. We don’t have any further information beyond our extremely under-vetted hunch, but we swear it’s true. Just look at that picture! If that’s not Adam Sandler in a wig and makeup, we don’t know what is. And honestly, we have no idea what the benefit would be. But Sandler and Dylan are so successful, so uber wealthy, it almost kinda makes sense, right? Like a couple of rich white dudes got together and decided to “Trading Places” themselves, but in a way that they’re both still rich and successful. What a world, huh? | 8pm. Prices vary. The Met Philly. 858 N. Broad St. concerts1.livenation.com/

Movie | Philadelphia Psychotronic Film Society

We initially read the name of this crew of film fanatics as the Philly “Psychotropic” Film Society which, if you’re at all interested in pharmaceutical drugs (what do you mean, “who the fuck is interested in pharmaceutical drugs?”), would have made for an interesting choice. Psychotropic drugs, of course, are meant to affect a person’s mental state. But considering the nearly limitless inner depths that the combination of sights and sounds created by a movie can plumb, it would have kind of made sense. But that’s not the case so ignore everything you just read. | 7:30pm. Free. PhilaMOCA. 531 N. 12th St. psychotronicphilly.org/

Learn | Conversations About Addiction

You may not know this, but we’ve got a teensy weensy little drug problem. Not us specifically. We’re not huffing paint in the back of the PW offices – not all of us at least. But we meant the city as a whole. Philly is tough and beautiful and resilient as all get out. But it’s also sick. Sick with a disease called addiction. And the first step to eradicating a sickness is to identify and understand it. It’s a small step, but always the most important. | 6pm. Free. Kensington Storefront. 2774 Kensington Ave. philly.carpe-diem.events/kensington


Learn | Uncovering the Neuroscience of Mental Illness

A couple of events ago, we spoke a bit about psychotropic drugs. And while terms like “psychotropic” get thrown around a lot, specifically, it seems, by Hollywood script writers who like to use buzzwords to make plants and strange zoological findings sound even scarier, the truth is they’re not scary. The truth is, for a lot of people (over 44 million American adults suffer from mental illness) psychotropic drugs are a boon. Not a solution, perhaps, but an aid. A tool. A special spell meant to ward off the most troubling of evils, if only for a time. | 6pm. Free. Smilow Center for Translational Research. 3400 Civic Center Blvd. upennglia.com/

Music | John Legend – A Legendary Christmas

The Met Philly is a 110,000-square-foot, 3,500-seat renovation project bringing a Philly landmark back to life. If you wanna find out more, just check out our edition of The Scene this week. If you’re more of the show, don’t tell type, then maybe you’re better off just buying tickets and going to see John Legend and the brand new state-of-the-art venue for yourself. We promise it’ll be a good time, even if Chrissy Teigen probably won’t be there. | 8pm. Prices vary. The Met Philly. 858 N. Broad St. concerts1.livenation.com/

Learn | After the Midterm Elections: Building a Way Forward

Somewhere along the way, socialism became a four-letter word. Which is to say, in the lexicon of late-era capitalism, socialism ranks up there on the Naughty Notions List with other humdingers like “Medicare for all” and “a woman’s right to choose.” But it doesn’t have to be that way. Sharing is not immoral. Ensuring enough for all is not a death knell. There is space for ideas like these, which means there is space for these ideas to become reality. Come out and make your voice heard. | 630pm. Free. Repair the World: Philadelphia. 4029 Market St. socialistalternativephl.org/

Social | Viewtiful Tuesday

It’s not every day you get the opportunity to take your tripod 57 stories up and plop it down on the observation deck of the tallest building in Philadelphia and snap pictures until your little heart discovers true contentment. But this day? This day is one of those days. So make sure to gather up your equipment and head on over to One Liberty Place for a day filled with sweeping vistas and clicking cameras. | 10am. Prices vary. One Liberty Observation Deck. 1625 Chestnut St. phillyfromthetop.com/

Learn | Geomancy for Bibliophiles

Quick! Raise your hand if you have any idea what the above title means! You, yes you there – oh, you put your hand down. What about yo – OK, nevermind. Looking, looking. OK, seems like we’re back to the beginning. That would’ve been a lot easier if you’d all just listened in the first place. We literally said, “any idea.” So if you had no idea, which I’m assuming you did because no one answered … oh, what’s the use. This workshop is about geomancy, aka divination, and the ways in which ancient civilizations used the so-called-art to divine the future. Go. | 7pm. $25. Free Library of Philadelphia. 1901 Vine St. eventbrite.com/geomancy


Music | Philly Repeal Day Ball

Prohibition, we hardly knew ye. Just kidding. Sorta. Assuming you weren’t born in the 1800s or early 1900s, you’ve never known prohibition at all. But if you ever wanted to know just how well that whole no-alcohol-at-all thing went, look no further than the Philly Repeal Day Ball, which is set to celebrate 85 years of boozy, bouquet-y American cocktail culture. Seriously, booze is good and draconian laws are bad. Drink up. | 7pm. Prices vary. Cescaphe Ballroom. 923 N. 2nd St. eventbrite.com/philly-repeal-day

Drinks | Cocktails and Cold Ones

The weather is cold and getting colder, which means fewer and fewer chances to toss back a beer or three in the great out of doors. Of course, Philly’s full of intrepid souls, many of whom wouldn’t let a bit of cold stop them from sipping on a tasty brew, anymore than they’d let a Cowboys fan walk away without an earful of cusses. So head on over to the Rothman Cabin for some cheap cocktails and warm embraces. And if there are any Cowboys fans, probably a fight or three. | 5pm. Free. Dilworth Park. 1 S. 15th St. centercityphila.org/

Social | Beer Bingo

We’re celebrating the anniversary of prohibition’s abolishment like we really mean it this year. And you better believe we mean it – beer-based events make up like, 75 percent of this calendar. Honestly, without booze none of us would even be here. I’m pretty sure I have a six pack of Yuengling and a broken thermostat to thank for my existence. But no matter what spirit brought you here, all that matters is we continue the tradition of drinking and, well, whatever comes next. Hopefully it’s you. | 830pm. Free. Bait & Switch. 2537 E. Somerset St. philly.carpe-diem.beer-bingo

Learn | Holiday Wreath DIY Class

Who wouldn’t want to learn how to do it themselves? No one, that’s who. So if your front porch or front door or heck, even if you back basement window needs a little sprucing up, then this is the class made just for you. Follow along (drink in-hand, of course) with the experts as they walk you through basic floral wrapping and wiring techniques, then head home with a beautiful homemade wreath you can pull out every holiday season and show off to anyone within earshot. It’s not a wife or kids or even a consistent career, but hey, at least you made something. | 9pm. $35. Herman’s Coffee. 1313 S. 3rd St. hermanscoffee.com/holiday-wreath

Music | For the Love of Music

Jeff Duperon from WRTI Radio hosts this reimagined look at jazz – the genre, the history, the music that made us all go, “what the hell is that, is he even playing in a key?” Because yes, dear reader. Of course, he was playing in a key. It’s just that jazz folk are smarter than the rest of us, their music simply more complex. All joking aside, The Geraldine Oliver Quartet will be performing music from the Great American Songbook that you can try – fruitlessly, might we add – to snap your fingers or bob your head along to. | 7pm. $10. SOUTH. 600 N. Broad St. philly.carpe-diem.the-love-of-music


Social | Kringle’s Kittens Adoption Event

Friggin’. Kittens. Seriously, is there anything better on this chaotic ball of blue we call home? Puppies maybe. Or a baby seal, which also happens to be called a pup. Maybe a filly (see what we did there?), or a quokka (look it up, you won’t be disappointed). Cuteness quotient aside though, Philly’s got a lot of kittens and not nearly enough loving homes. So head out to The Cat Doctor this Thursday for a feline-filled evening that’s all about bringing the cute in out of the cold and, hopefully, directly to your lap. | 6pm. Free. The Cat Doctor. 535 N. 22nd St. acctphilly.org/kringles-kittens/

Social | Terminally Chill Dance Party

We here in the calendar section of Philadelphia Weekly take the naming of events very seriously. It makes sense, really – we’re tasked with writing about events, finding some interesting way to talk about them. As a general rule, the weirder the title, the better for our purposes. But on this one, we’re not really sure how we feel. Sure, the word play is tight. And it gives you a good idea of the expected tone of the evening. But it’s still a little … iffy? Doesn’t mean you shouldn’t go, just maybe while you’re there grab a promoter and not-so-gently suggest they come up with a different name. | 10pm. Prices vary. The Barbary. 951 Frankford Ave. philly.carpe-diem.terminally-chill

Social | Fair Workweek Final Vote

There are few causes that we can get behind fully and completely. Most come with some facet of belief that we simply won’t support. But when it comes to providing more for the 130,000 food service, hospitality and retail working people in Philly, we’re squarely in the “just try and stop us, motherfucker” frame of mind. This one’s no joke. Get to city hall and make your voice heard. Councilmember Helen Gym and the totality of Philly workers need your help. | 10am. Free. City Hall, Room 400. 1400 John F. Kennedy Blvd. onepa.org/fairworkweekphl/

Social | QOTA Under the Trees

QOTA is a monthly happy hour on East Passayunk Ave, geared toward the LGBTQ community and their allies. QOTA Under the Trees is, well, QOTA under the trees. Only these trees are inside the facilities at Urban Jungle, a one-stop depot for all your home and gardening needs. Together, this is one LGBTQ-friendly, green and glitter resplendent, snacks and drinks til’ the bumper falls off kind of holiday hootenanny. Just remember to dress warm – you’ll be inside, but the doors will be open. | 6pm. Free. Urban Jungle. 1526 E Passyunk Ave. philly.carpe-diem.qota

Music | Polo & Pan

Chaotic dance beats that melt into soaring pop melodies, deloving once more into trance-like, trip hop nonstop beats. And beats. And beats. Just like your heart as it tries desperately to keep pace with the franticness of the music and the chaos around you, the bodies as they fling themselves to and fro, disappearing inside the music only to reappear again, a little sweatier, a little sweeter, and little more alive than they’d been only a few moments before. That’s not necessarily Polo & Pan, but we dare you to find out. | 7:30pm. $20. Union Transfer. 1026 Spring Garden St. utphilly.com/polo-pan

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