Calendar: Nov. 22-29


Social | 6abc/Dunkin’ Thanksgiving Day Parade

America’s oldest Thanksgiving Day Parade (bet you’ve never heard that one before) returns for another year of gargantuan balloons, slow-moving mummers and all the restrained Christmas cheer of one entire East Coast city. The 1.4-mile route ends at the Philadelphia Museum of Art, and it’s probably the best place to settle in and watch. But the parade wanders all along the Ben Franklin, so really, the only bad seat is the one you missed out on. | 830am. Free. Philadelphia Museum of Art. 2600 Benjamin Franklin Pkwy.

Give Back | Thanksgiving at the Rock

Every year, Rock Ministries puts together a community-backed Thanksgiving meal for those in need. This year will be no different. And considering Thanksgiving is all about, well, giving thanks, showing appreciation, sharing what we can with those around us, it’s probably high time you headed on over to the Rock and registered for a day of giving thanks by giving back. | 11am. Free. Rock Ministries of Philadelphia. 2755 Kensington Ave.

Give Back | Arms of Alpha Thanksgiving Service Event

The good deeds don’t stop at one. And with so many Americans without basic necessities or access to quality food, there’s no reason it should. Arms of Alpha is Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity’s Day of Service (we know, we know, fraternity’s suck, but this is for a good cause so shut up for a minute, ok?), providing meals to the less fortunate, and collecting donations of clothes, toiletries and more. | 8am. Free. Columbia North YMCA. 1400 N Broad St.

Give Back | Meals for the Homeless

One more for the good guys and gals looking to do good works on the holiday that’s all about giving … and doing good. This particular volunteer event, held at the Thomas Paine Plaza, is hosted by the African Daughters of Fine Lineage. Volunteers will have the opportunity to spend the day setting up and distributing more than 600 hot meals, and sorting and distributing donated items in care packages. There will also be plenty of opportunities for donations as well. | 11am. Free. Thomas Paine Plaza. 1401 John F Kennedy Blvd.

Social |Thursday Morning Trek

For a lot of people, Thanksgiving isn’t a holiday about seeing friends and family, or even about giving thanks. It’s a holiday about food. And booze. And naps. And far be it for us to judge how anyone chooses to spend their holiday—we’ll be in Boca, don’t ask—there are plenty of options besides, “eat a lot and get drunk.” But, if you’ve got your heart set on that experience and you want to earn your way into that fourth slice of cheesecake, maybe go for a hike in the morning? Ya know, just to get the soon-to-be-coagulated blood flowing. | 715am. Free. Wissahickon Environmental Center. 300 W Northwestern Ave.


Social | Contents of Mayor Frank Rizzo’s Chestnut Hill Estate

This is kind of a weird one and not necessarily in the spirit of the holiday season, what with its overtones of giving and helping and all that other cheerful, compassionate nonsense. But still, it’s not everyday you get to peruse the features and furniture of the former Philadelphia mayor’s oversized estate. You don’t even need to buy anything to make this trip worthwhile, though you definitely could/should. Just check out the curves on that frickin credenza! | 10am. Free. Mayor Frank Rizzo’s Estate. 8919 Crefeld St.

Learn | Dinos After Dark

We’ll be honest with you, gentle reader (as a side note, you should always assume honesty from us—it’s a big part of who we are and what we do and if we weren’t being honest we’d feel very much like we were doing you a disservice), the name for this event was originally Dragons After Dark, and while Dinos After Dark still sounds way cool, it’s simply not as cool as the thought of a bunch of badass dragons just waiting to sip cocktails and mingle away the afternoon with you. Wait, that’s what this is, right? | 4pm. Prices vary. The Academy of Natural Sciences. 1900 Benjamin Franklin Pkwy.

Movie | Midnight Madness: Suspiria

It’s not often that you hear about a horror flick, at least in part, because of its music. But that’s exactly the case with Suspiria, the first in director Dario Argento’s “Three Mothers” series. The plot – a young woman arrives at a prestigious European dance academy expecting to work hard and struggle to succeed, only to discover the situation is far more dire and, of course, terrifying, than she ever could have imagined – is powerful, but it’s the addition of a score by Italian prog musicians Goblin that takes this tale of terror to a different level. | 1159pm. $10.25. The Ritz at the Bourse. 400 Ranstead St.

Social | After Turkey Play Day

Any talk of Thanksgiving is seemingly always peppered with cliches about tryptophan and too much stuffing, post-dinner naps and second helpings that quickly turn to thirds and, for the more adventurous amongst us, fourths and fifths. But they’re not just cliches. Or, they’re cliches because there’s some element of truth to it. So if you’re feeling especially full following this year’s turkey feast, why not head over to the playground and, well, play some of that stuffing and gravy off. | 10am. Free. Smith Memorial Playground. 3500 Reservoir Dr.

Social | Fade to Black 2018 

This one’s for the highly professionals amongst us (there are at least a few of you, right?). The Pyramid Club resides on the 52nd floor of the Mellon Bank Center Building and, as befits a social club stationed at one of the highest points in the city, this evening’s all about the come up. Socialize. Drink. Eat. Network. Get your name out there. Find some fresh connections. Enjoy the midnight breakfast buffet before all those other entrepreneurs can get their grubby little hands on it. | 9pm. Prices vary. Pyramid Club. 1735 Market St.


Social | Indoor Flea Market at Penn’s Landing 

Flea markets come and flea markets go, but it’s the stuff that always seems to stick around. A broken toy soldier. A handful of untouched tape rolls. Some mismatched drill bits. A portrait of Elvis after he got fat, sat next to a folding chair that you can’t quite decide is for sale or not. A tarp with such an amazing array of unrelated things, you stop for a minute just to marvel at how a collection like that could have come together in the first place. Stuff trading places with other stuff—that’s all a flea market really is. | 8am. Free. Penn’s Landing Caterers. 1301 S Columbus Blvd.

Comedy | Kevin Hart

Do we really even need to write anything? It’s Kevin Freakin’ Hart for crap’s sake, a Philly boy born and bred who hit the big time and made good. Plus, he’s hilarious. Plus, he was in Get Hard, which is a movie so terrible that it might be amazing. We’re honestly still not sure. But all that aside, Kevin Hart is a supremely funny, supremely talented guy who manages to give Philly a good name. Even if you don’t like him, we can probably all support that. | 7pm. Prices vary. Wells Fargo Center. 3601 S Broad St.

Social | Drag Diva Brunch

Who wouldn’t want a busty, beefy, maybe a little handsy Marilyn Monroe With a Moustache to deliver their mimosas and breakfast meats? No one, that’s who. Seriously though, the ladies at Drag Diva Brunch will take extra special amazing care of you—all you’ve gotta do is bring your A-plus brunch game. Be warm. Be inviting. Get ready to laugh and lunch and blush when Marilyn With a Moustache tickles your pits. Just don’t bring your judgements with you; this is a fun-first brunch experience. | 11am. $30. Punch Line Philly. 33 E Laurel St.

Eat | Afternoon Tea at Fork

Philly has some truly amazing restaurants. Seriously, as a food city it manages to keep pace with places like New York, despite its smaller stature, and thanks in large part to a committed community of creatives who eat, drink and (sometimes) sleep exciting new endeavors. And while afternoon tea isn’t exactly the most exciting or enticing prospect, when it’s at one of the city’s best restaurants, it’s smart to stop and take notice. Tea from Rival Bros. Tasty finger sandwiches. And a pleasant afternoon you won’t soon forget. Sounds pretty good to us. | 1pm. $45. Fork. 306 Market St.

Music | 3OH!3 & Emo Nite

It’s emo night, and everybody with a whole host of black rubber wristbands or a deep and abiding love for smokey eyeliner is invited. And hey, even if you’re not into all that scene kid stuff, you’re still invited. Just be prepared for an onslaught of emo excess, an absolute bevy of break up-induced acoustic ballads buttressed by speedy garage rock anthems that eventually bleed into choruses packed with those very same break up-induced ballads. It’s gonna be sad and it’s gonna be wild. Are you ready to rock/cry? | 8pm. Prices vary. Underground Arts. 1200 Callowhill St.


Social | Make + Take Workshop

Do you need a new porcelain soap dish? Are you too cheap to go buy one from Target? Would you prefer to pay extra and have to make the damn thing yourself? Seriously though, all joking aside, stuff like this is awesome. You get to hang out and chat and learn from an expert how to make something that’s actually practical and useful. Then, two weeks later, you’ve got a brand new soap dish. Now, what’s better? The experience and memory of creating your own, or buying one at Big Lots for four bucks? | 12pm. Prices vary. Bartram’s Garden. 5400 Lindbergh Blvd.

Social | Eagles Watch Party

If you’re a Philadelphian and you don’t bleed green then we simply no longer have any interest in speaking to you and you can click away from this post (or avert your eyes from this paper) immediately. Just kidding. Mostly. Seriously though, it’s been a tough season for our beloved Birds and while it obviously comes on the tail end of the high from the team’s first-ever Super Bowl victory, it’s still a disappointment. So get out there and support this Sunday (not the team; your fellow fans who will be trying to drown their sorrows in shots of Jameson and plates of wings). | 1pm. Free. Punchline Philly. 33 E Laurel St.

Social | Goat Yoga

Goats and yoga. Yoga and goats. It’s hard to say which one is better, but it’s probably a moot point anyway. They can both be great. Which they are. So putting them together only makes sense. Have you ever been to a goat yoga class? They hop up on your back and push up against you, they play with one another and basically do everything in their power to keep your from concentrating on your Butthole Pose or whatever it’s called. It’s great fun. | 11am. $19. Water & Rock Studio. 8109 Germantown Ave.

Social | Paint Your Pet

Pet paintings are kind of a thing at the moment. Not that they haven’t always been a thing, going all the way back to kings and queens and their beloved schmoopy poohs. But it’s like its own little cottage industry now, especially on Etsy. Seriously. Go search for pet paintings on Etsy and see how many thousands of options pop up. So instead of shelling out some exorbitant sum for your significant other’s next celebration, just paint it yourself. Sure, it’ll look worse. But it’s the thought that counts, right? Right!? | 2pm. $55. Painting With a Twist. 8500 Henry Ave.

Social | Thanksgiving Auction

At the end of every month, Philadelphia Community Corps holds an auction at Philly Reclaim to sell some of the most interesting pieces collected over the past 30 days. Architectural salvage, modern building materials, antiques and a whole lot more will be available for purchase on this – hopefully – sunny Sunday afternoon. So grab the checkbook and stretch those arm-raising muscles—it’s about time to bid. | 11am. Free. Philadelphia Community Corps. 150 W Butler St.


Learn | Half Baked: Exploring Myths and Implications of Medical Marijuana

The fight rages on … again. Seriously though, we’re double-dipping on marijuana Monday and we swear it’s only a little bit because of our love for alliteration. It’s also because weed is, while not harmless, an enjoyable and, in many ways, beneficial plant that just also happens to smoke like a king, queen and everything in between. Generally, we stay away from landing too heavily on one side or the other, but when it comes to this, we’re squarely with the scientists—no, not those scientists. The other ones. | 530pm. Free. Parkway Central Library. 1901 Vine St.

Give Back | Camp Out for Hunger 2018

Thanksgiving might be over, but the giving just doesn’t stop. Join forces with WMMR and Preston & Steve for this annual nonperishable food item collection for Philly’s less fortunate. Starting at 6am, Preston & Steve will be broadcasting live from Xfinity, simultaneously collecting all the cans and cookery items they – and you – can muster for Philabundance. So go out and give back—it’s the American thing to do. | 6am. Free. Xfinity Live!. 1100 Pattison Ave.

Movie | ‘Clue’ at The Trocadero

If you’ve never seen the movie version of the classic whodunit board game, do yourself a favor and head out to The Trocadero for a Monday night of movie awesomeness you won’t soon forget. Tim Curry. Christopher Lloyd. Martin Mull. Eileen Brennan … we recognize that you probably stopped knowing who these people are after the first or second one, so we’ll stop. Still, it’s a great movie and a great time, so pop a $3 PBR and try to figure out who the monster in our midst really is. | 630pm. $3. Trocadero. 1003 Arch St.

Social | Karaoke Takeover

Karaoke seems like one of those things you’re really just got to have a pre-existing affinity for if you’re going to commit to doing it. Like, some sweet little introvert probably isn’t going to just up and decide one Monday night that she wants to go belt out “My Heart Will Go On” to a room full of no less amateurish, but far more seasoned karaoke kids. So maybe take this as an opportunity to get the introvert in your life up and out, and maybe even onto the stage. They’ll fight you, but they may also thank you later. | 9pm. Free. Infusion Lounge. 16 S 2nd St.

Learn | The Science Behind Medicinal Cannabis

The fight rages on. On one side, bureaucrats and politicians, the concerned mothers and the determined fathers, all those who want to see the evil that is marijuana eradicated from the sacred lands of the only home we’ve ever known. And on the other side, potheads. Just kidding. The other side actually has a lot of people, including like, scientists and stuff. Hey, they probably know what they’re talking about, right? Oh, you don’t care? Oh, now your fingers are in your ears. Oh, and you’re humming. Alright then. | 11am. Free. For Pete’s Sake Pub. 900 S Front St.


Social | A Drag Queen Christmas

We’ll be honest, there wasn’t a lot of specific info available on what this event actually entails. So we’ll just take a (nut)crack(er) at what we think it will look, sound, feel and … smell like? Maybe not that last one. Anyway, we’re thinking bright lights, huge voices, and more holiday cheer than you could shake a sequined Santa beard at. Plus, ya know, drinks and laughs and a big emphasis on being good to one another now, and always. | 8pm. Prices vary. The Fillmore. 29 E Allen St.

Social | The Office Trivia to Benefit PSPCA

What delicious dish did Kevin drop on the floor of the office after crowing about how beloved it was and how long it took him to make? What actor pretends to play Jim during a particularly precocious prank on Dwight? Why the hell don’t Andy and Erin end up together at the end of the show, we mean come on, seriously, you got everything else right, you made this amazing show and left this one stupid thread ha … no, no. We promised our therapists we wouldn’t do this. | 7pm. $6. Punchline Philly. 33 E Laurel St.

Social | Live Tasting at Christmas Village

Last week, we told you all about Christmas Village, that (mostly) one-of-a-kind winter wonderland that sets up shop at LOVE Park every holiday season. What we didn’t mention then, but that we’re psyched to tell you about now, is the live wine tastings they do sporadically throughout the season. In conjunction with Chaddsford Winery, this live tasting includes a sampling plate and cozy atmosphere and, of course, wine. | 5pm. $14. Christmas Village at LOVE Park. 1500 Arch St.

Music | The Wrecks

What with Thanksgiving and the focus on volunteerism and sharing and shopping and stuffing and, of course, turning the page to Christmas and all the, well, volunteerism and sharing and shopping and stuffing, we haven’t had much time for the usual stuff here in the calendar section of Philly Weekly. So here ya go, ya heathens. It’s a show and it’s at The Fillmore and it’s indie rock you’ve probably never heard before, but won’t soon forget. | 730pm. $16.50. The Fillmore. 29 E Allen St.

Comedy | Tattooed Momedy

Sticking with the theme of throwing it back to some PW mainstays, let’s talk free comedy by some tattooed freaks. And by tattooed freaks we mean our very best friends and the only other people we’d be comfortable calling family besides, well, our actual family. Head out to Tattooed Mom on Tuesday and forget all about the wild week you spent eating turkey and biting your tongue around Uncle Fred with your first, but definitely not last, family. | 8pm. Free. Tattooed Mom. 530 South St.


Social | Center City Tree Lighting

It’s officially that time of year. Tree lightings. Holiday markets. Little kids with chocolate smeared all over their faces. It’s frickin’ Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanza/who the hell cares just be nicer to people for the next month or so time. So grab your chocolate glazed kiddies and head downtown to join Mayor Kenney in lighting the Center City holiday/who the hell cares just be nicer to people for the next month or so tree. | 530pm. Free. City Hall. 1401 John F Kennedy Blvd.

Social | Stag & Doe Nights in Chestnut Hill

Stag & Doe Nights are apparently an annual tradition in Chestnut Hill. Who knew. Seriously, we’re asking—who out there knew about this and didn’t tell us? We’re peeved and honestly, nearly inconsolable. No! Don’t try to make us feel better. Just get out. Just … get … out. And maybe head over to Chestnut Hill for an evening of extended store hours and, of course, an urban holiday market that’s totally not like any of the other 20 holiday markets across the city. Not uh. Not at all. | 6pm. Free. Chestnut Hill. 8514 Germantown Ave.

Eat | Federal Donuts & Kurant Cider

Here at Philly Weekly, we’re firm believers that taste is king. Or is it queen? Princess? Archduke? The Baroness Formerly Known as Flavor? It doesn’t matter … unless it does. Does it? Anywho. If you’re interested in the Team Lead of Taste, the Manager of Mastication, then head on over to Kurant Cider for a delectable pairing of fluffy Federal Donuts and crisp Kurant Cider, hosted by Home Brewed Events. | 7pm. $25. Kurant Cider. 436 E Girard Ave.

Learn | Guilty Pleasures: Author Reading with Laura Little

It’s rare you hear the terms “funny” and “law book” in the same sentence, and while the context here is a little on the nose, we’re still proud to present an event based on a book that’s equal parts interesting and laughter-inducing. Laura Little is a law professor at Temple. But she’s also got a wicked sense of humor. In her book, Guilty Pleasures, she manages to marry the two seamlessly, diving deep on big issues and little, finding common ground where we so often fail to recognize it. | 630pm. Free. Shakespeare & Co. 1632 Walnut St.

Social | A Gay Old Time

Queer people have a unique avenue to a sense of humor. Of course, pain and suffering will do that to you. Perspective. Gratitude. You learn these things very quickly when you spend your life looking up at others and wondering why it’s so easy for them and so hard for you. But that doesn’t last long either, because feeling sorry for yourself gets you nowhere. So you learn to laugh. And love. And show the world that, tough as it may be, you’re even tougher. | 8pm. $15. Punchline Philly. 33 E Laurel St.


Social | Ladies Night Out

It’s ladies night, and we’re feelin’ right, oh yes it’s ladies night (oh what a night). If you don’t get that reference, then we’re not really sure what to say. Maybe we’ll just apologize, considering the brain space it would take to keep hold of that song and those lyrics has probably been replaced by episodes of Paw Patrol or endless repeats of that freakin’ Baby Shark song. Either way, it actually is ladies night at the Phila FOP Lodge 5, hosted by Newspaper Media Group, and featuring a whole host of kickass vendors. So ladies, get out and make a night of it. | 6pm. $10. Phila FOP Lodge 5. 11630 Caroline Rd.

Social | Historic Holidays in Old City

Presented by Old City District, this is a celebration of all things holiday and historical. America’s most historic square mile will transform before your very eyes into its own triumphant holiday market, including a window decorating contest for the more competitive amongst us. Complete with a tree lighting in the courtyard at the Betsy Ross House, this event features music, seasonal sips and bites, a holiday tree designed by Old City’s Petit Jardin en Ville and, of course, the Little Rebel herself. | 5pm. Free. Betsy Ross House. 239 Arch St.

Social | Becoming: An Intimate Conversation with Michelle Obama

If you’re a regular reader of our humble little alt-weekly, then you’re probably already well aware of the many issues, like malignant tumors, which plague both our city and our country. It’s not content we want to produce, stories we want to write, but it’s a space we feel is necessary to fill, and who better to fill it than us? But we’re not alone in this fight. Though it doesn’t seem it, plenty of people in positions of power – people like former First Lady Michelle Obama – are determined to do something about it. Same team, same fight, same goal. | 8pm. Prices vary. Wells Fargo Center. 3601 S Broad St.

Learn | Fake Friends: A Panel Discussion on Art History and Comparison

What comprises a comparison? Can two things every truly be compared? What facets of determination decide which is which and what falls where? While you’re not likely to find easy answers to any of these (admittedly convoluted) questions at Fake Friends, you will find a lively discussion on just what kind of cultural conundrum comparisons present. Viewed through the prism of art history, this panel will try to deduce the unforeseen failings of comparisons, and determine if a “global modern” really is possible. | 6pm. Free. Institute of Contemporary Art. 118 S 36th St.

Music | The Internet

On the one hand, it does seem a little presumptuous for a band to call themselves “The Internet.” Like, the Internet with a capital “I” is already a thing. A pretty huge thing, in fact, that dominates our daily lives. So when you name your band for that very same thing, you certainly seem to be saying something about your talent, your music and, perhaps more importantly, your staying power as a cultural entity. Or, as is the case with this band, it comes about as a joke. Fortunately for them, the joke – and the music – are really fucking good. | 8pm. $32.50. The Fillmore. 29 E Allen St.

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