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Calendar: May 3-9

FRIDAY, MAY 3LGBT | Cabaret Sauvignon


LGBT | Cabaret Sauvignon

Celebrate the one year anniversary of drag queen Lili St. Queer’s one woman show. Apparently an “amateur alcoholic,” St. Queer is motivated by her inebriation as she plays her piano and twirls all over the stage. We could only imagine that this is a high-energy, provocative show by a fierce queen. | 8 pm. $10. Franky Bradley’s, 1320 Chancellor St. eventbrite.com

Music | Red Not Chili Peppers

It’s not a typo – these guys really aren’t RHCP. But they definitely have their stage presence, sound and essence –  minus all the drug abuse, probably. You shouldn’t pass up a chance to see them play with Somebody Else’s Sky, a Pearl Jam tribute band. | 8:30 pm. Prices vary. Tir na Nog Irish Bar & Grill, 1600 Arch St. bandsintown.com

LGBT | Gender Queery

The best trans and nonbinary drag show where you can feel free to be yourself. Complete with special celebrity appearances from Beary Tyler Moore and Paula Deen White, you womxn won’t want to miss out on dancing all night and being inspired by fabulous performances. But if you can’t make it, don’t worry – this jawn will be going on every First Friday. | 8 pm. Prices vary. Stir, 1705 Chancellor St. eventbrite.com

Interests | Annual Pottery Sale

Simply collect some clay works of art. You probably don’t need any of it, but you have to show support to students and artists that have donated their work. You would easily spend your money on some shit at Ikea, so why not give it to local artists who deserve it more? | 12 pm. Free. The Clay Studio, 137 N. 2nd St. facebook.com

Shopping | Girls Night Out

Gather all your lady friends for an expensive stroll around Chestnut Hill. Buy shit from stores with pink balloons outside and earn raffle tickets for the after party and drawing. It’s a pretty good excuse to just get lost in the city and spend all your money. | 5 pm. Prices vary. Locations vary. facebook.com

Interests | Strange Salon: An Evening of Witchery

Crowd into a comfortable odd shop and listen to some works of witch-erature. Local artists will have witchy jewelry on display, and there will be plenty of magick in the air. | 6:30 pm. Free. The Spiral Staircase, 112 Cotton St. facebook.com

Food | Rita’s National Italian Ice Day

We’re not sponsored. We just really don’t want you to miss out on some free ice – you know that shit is delicious. Get it from any Rita’s in Philly. | 12 pm. Free. Locations vary. facebook.com

Performance | Nerdy by Nature Open Mic

Unload all that nerdy knowledge that’s been suppressed by your friends that never wanted to hear it. Cosplay and participate in a variety show where you can bring whatever geeky talent you have. As long as it’s entertaining – and again, nerdy – it’s welcome on stage. | 8 pm. $5. Amalgam Comics & Coffeehouse, 2578 Frankford Ave. facebook.com


Music | The Strumbellas

The only band we’ve seen be described as “farm emo.” We have no fucking clue what that means, but it sounds awesome. It sounds like you’re gonna simultaneously want to giddy up and cry about your problems, which honestly seems like a great time. | 8:30 pm. $25. Union Transfer, 1026 Spring Garden St. etix.com

Festival | South Street Spring Festival

The opening day of the annual festival that inaugurates Philly spring. Drink, dance and see the largest maypole in the city. We couldn’t think of an event more true to the Philly spirit – except for maybe the Super Bowl parade. Go Birds. 11 am. Free. South Street Headhouse District, 200 Pine St. facebook.com

Party | Drexel Holi Bash

This celebration of the colorful Indian holiday is open to everyone who wants to party. Mark the beginning of spring as you throw some colors in the air. Your roommates will just hate you afterwards when you stain the shower rainbow. | 11 am. Free. Drexel Park, 3100 Powelton Ave. facebook.com

Festival | Bold Women & Beer Festival

You already know what it is. The first of its kind, this is a day dedicated to the delicious beers from female-led breweries. Four badass bands led by women will also be the stars of the show as they own the stage. Seems like a proper party for all these powerful women. | 1 pm. $45. Love City Brewing Company, 1023 Hamilton St. eventbrite.com

Food | Port Richmond Pierogi Fest

Do we really need to break this one down for you? There’s seriously nothing better than some homemade pierogies from people who know what the fuck they’re doing. Leave it to the chefs to stuff you with only the best and most authentic little dumplings of heavenly deliciousness. | 12 pm. Free. Campbell Square, 2535 E. Allegheny Ave. facebook.com

Party | TrapQuila

Trap music and tequila had a baby – and it’s this party. We don’t really need to tell you anything more to convince you to go. Twerk and get tipsy, because you have no excuses not to. | 10 pm. Free. Stats on 17th, 111 S. 17th St. eventbrite.com

Learn | I Love Me: The Self Love Summit

RuPaul’s famous catchphrase follows us in everything we do: “If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else?” Harness that inner love and put yourself above all else at this event. | 7 pm. $80. Renaissance Philadelphia Airport Hotel, 500 Stevens Dr. eventbrite.com

Family Fun | Science Carnival on the Parkway

This blowout is the wrap-up to the Philadelphia Science Festival.You will actually have fun and learn valuable information at the same time. That’s what school wishes it could do. | 10 am. Free. The Franklin Institute, 222 N. 20th St. fi.edu


Party | Cinco de Mayo Block Party

You gotta do more than just go out to eat on Cinco de Mayo, especially since it’s on a Sunday this year. Start the party early and keep it going all day. Surround yourself with actual Mexican heritage – you should never miss a chance to celebrate another culture, anyway. | 11 am. Free. El Rey, 2013 Chestnut St. facebook.com

Music | Earth Crisis

The band considers this show to be “long overdue,” so you know this shit’s gonna be packed and that pit is gonna be moving. Call on the holy spirit to help you survive the night as you dodge punches from huge guys with neckbeards. 2 pm. $20. First Unitarian Church, 2125 Chestnut St. brownpapertickets.com

Event | Philly Girls Jump 2019 Season Jump Off

This is an event for all the double dutch divas out there. Honestly, we don’t know many experts of this craft. Maybe you don’t either, and maybe you’ll find a strong community of women you could jump with, which is exactly what you should get from going to this event. | 2 pm. Free. Awbury Park, 6101 Ardleigh St. eventbrite.com

Food | Street Car Cookout

Not your typical Cinco de Mayo event, but a proper celebration, nonetheless. Eat some food while you gawk at some nice cars. We’re all for these events that fulfill our most simple pleasures. | 7 pm. Free. KleanFleet Truck & Auto Wash, 2250 E. Ontario St. facebook.com

Food & Drink | Rose Wine Tasting Brunch

Another one that just speaks directly to our hearts. Find the perfect Rose for spring and treat yourself to a good ol’ Sunday brunch. We’re not bougie enough to have a seasonal wine favorite – we just drink from whatever bottle we can find on sale – but maybe you are. | 2 pm. $55. The Victoria Freehouse, 10 S. Front St. brownpapertickets.com

Learn | Wax Play

It’s time to get hot and sticky. We have no clue what wax play is, but we can only assume that it’s pretty self-explanatory. Whether you know what it is or not, you can safely learn how to do it here. | 4 pm. $20. Kink Shoppe, 126 Market St. brownpapertickets.com

Music | Tribute to Weird Al Yankovic

Artists covering Weird Al songs seems like such a silly concept. Yankovic’s songs are already parody covers, and then artists will be doing covers of his covers. Silliness is the goal of this show, so it’s actually all very fitting. | 7 pm. $12. Philadelphia Folksong Society, 6156 Ridge Ave. eventbrite.com


Event | The Savvy Networker

You are the environment you surround yourself with. Meet the right people who mean business just like you do. You won’t find many of them elsewhere, so trust us, if you’re serious about making connections and closing the deals, this is the place for you. | 7 pm. $30. Front Street Cafe, 1253 N. Front St. eventbrite.com

Music | King Dude

Seems like another cool, underground artist coming to fuck up one of Philly’s most intimate venues. TJ Cowgill – the dude – used to be the frontman of a Satanic death metal band. If that doesn’t give you an idea of what he could bring to stage, then you know nothing about what a good show is.| 9 pm. $15. Kung Fu Necktie, 1250 N. Front St. ticketfly.com

Music | Johnny Orlando

Poppy teenagers rejoice – your king has arrived. Orlando is part of the artists who have come up through YouTube. It’s pretty crazy that most of the celebs who appeal to younger generations were originally famous on the internet. Now a days, isn’t everybody? Excuse our old fogeyness and just enjoy his youthful talent. | 7:30 pm. $25. Theatre of the Living Arts, 334 South St. facebook.com

Trivia | Pokemon Quizzo

You’ve been training Pokemon your whole life – now it’s time to show it. Gotta catch… your buddy before they get the answer wrong and lose the game for all of you. | 8 pm. Free. Cedar Point Bar & Kitchen, 2370 E. Norris St. facebook.com

Comedy | Loose Canon: A Fan Fiction Comedy Show

The world of fan fiction is an exciting black hole to step into. It only deepens as these comics contribute their own works of fan fic. They may create something fun, or it may be something you wish you never heard. But hey, we’ve all been there and read some pretty weird shit, right? |  7:30 pm. $5. Philly Improv Theater, 2030 Sansom St. eventbrite.com

Music | How the West Was One

We don’t have much on this, but we know that it’s all ages and there’s several artists on the bill. We’re all for just showing up and shaking our booty, so that’s what we recommend you do as well. You don’t really need to know anything more to be down with that. | 7 pm. $12. Voltage Lounge, 421 N. 7th St. facebook.com

Music | In the Mixx Hip-Hop Event

Fuck the leotards, tight buns and jazz shoes. This is a dance class with a live DJ in a nightclub atmosphere. You won’t believe you’re moving your body in this way on a Monday night.| 7:30 pm. Prices vary. Koresh School of Dance, 2002 Rittenhouse Sq. facebook.com

Trivia | Game of Thrones Trivia

Whether you’ve watched the show for years or just binged it all in a week in time for the new season, come show off your knowledge of the series. Bonus points (not really) if you’ve actually read the books. | 7 pm. Free. Goose Island Brewhouse, 1002 Canal St. eventbrite.com


Food & Drink | Not Your Mama’s Cocktails

Disregard the title – these are all for mom, they’re just kicked up a few notches from what she might expect. Just show up at her house with a cocktail in hand. There’s no doubt she deserves it after raising you. | 6:30 pm. $40. Art in the Age, 116 N. 3rd St. artintheage.com

Music | Brit Floyd

Holy shit – it’s been 40 years since Pink Floyd’s “The Wall” was released. These guys are here to remind us of that – and of how fucking old we’re all getting. They’re as close to the real thing as you could possibly get, and are definitely a band you have to catch at least once in your life. | 7:30 pm. $50. Merriam Theater, 250 S. Broad St. kimmelcenter.org

Music | Lil Pump & Lil Skies

So many lil rappers, so lil time to distinguish them from one another, but Lil Pump – yeah, we know this one. We can only hear “Gucci Gang” in our head, but we’re sure he’s gonna bring more to the stage than just that. | 7 pm. $40. The Met Philly, 858 N. Broad St. facebook.com

Wellness | White Tara: A Soothing Practice For Difficult Times

Often used during times of family and community issues, white tara will spiritually guide you to a calmer place. We all need to learn to relax, but what’s even more important is to find a healthy way to do so. Fuck big pharma and “taking a chill pill” – look within and find your own solutions. | 7 pm. $20. Philadelphia Shambhala Center, 2030 Sansom St. philadelphia.shambhala.org

Discussion | Communicating Abrupt Climate Change

With all the abuse we inflict on Earth, we’re really pushing our luck here. You can’t deny the inevitable effects of climate change, so it’s in your best interest to check this out. If it was possible for Trump to become president, then it’s definitely possible that our climate could completely change within the next few years. | 6 pm. $10. The Franklin Institute, 222 N. 20th St. fi.edu

Discussion | How Technology is Democratizing Your Local Government

Technology isn’t just a luxury anymore – it’s important in lots of components of our lives. So there’s no excuse for our government to be clueless when it comes to using it. This essential event will teach us how to integrate these two complex worlds to make everyone’s lives a little easier. | 6 pm. Free. Pennsylvania Academy of the Fine Arts, 128 N. Broad St. eventbrite.com

Party | Rittenhouse Row Spring Festival Preview Party

We love all these spring festivals that pop up this time of year. They are the perfect opportunities to get drunk and indulge in all the food we want. This is just a little sneak peek of the week long festival, so don’t go all out just yet. Or do – we’re not the party police. | 7 pm. $75. The Bellevue Hotel, 200 S. Broad St. ticketleap.com

Music | Banny Grove

This upbeat pop band came all the way from LA, so let’s show them what can happen in Philly. They promise that their music “born out of positivity and kindness” will get their crowd laughing and moving. | 7 pm. $8. Space 1026, 1026 Arch St. facebook.com


Arts & Crafts | Wine Bottle Succulent Workshop

You can probably guess exactly what you’ll be making in this craft class. Supplies and a wine glass are provided. This one’s for all you extra basic bitches. | 7 pm. $50. Panorama, 14 N. Front St. eventbrite.com

Discussion | Where the Light Enters with Jill Biden

The former Second Lady, and accomplished woman in her own right, is here to discuss her new book. She’ll drop some knowledge on how she’s balanced all the chaos in her life, and then you can ask her all the burning questions that have been on your mind. | 7 pm. $50. Suzanne Roberts Theatre, 480 S. Broad St. eventbrite.com

Music | J.I.D.

Oh y.e.s. This rapper part of the “Spillage Village” collective is stopping here on his North American “Catch Me If You Can” tour. His latest album is “Dicaprio 2,” and is literally the second of his albums named after the famous actor. Not sure why, but it’s a vibe. | 8 pm. $29. Theatre of the Living Arts, 334 South St. livenation.com

Music | Nana Grizol

This queer rock band is gonna shake things up. Theo Hilton, the singer of the band, is alone on this tour of personal songs old and new. Straight from Georgia, he’ll be heating up Philly with some Southern spice. | 7:30 pm. $10. PhilaMOCA, 531 N. 12th St. ticketfly.com

Discussion | Identifying Compatibility Through Self Awareness

Be aware of your own damn needs for once. We all tend to put others before ourselves – which is fine – but we gotta recognize what we really want. | 4 pm. Free. Queen Memorial Library, 1201 S. 23rd St. eventbrite.com

Discussion | Ice Cream Social: Social Media Discussion Series

If a business can’t communicate through social media, it might as well not exist. This is the ideal event for any business looking to step it up socially. Local business owners will be there to show you the way. | 8:30 am. Free. Kismet Spring Arts, 448 N. 10th St. ticketleap.com

Music | Movements

These emo guys are on a tour right now with Trash Boat and Drug Church. Going off the names alone, we can promise there won’t be a dull moment at this show. | 7 pm. $18. Union Transfer, 1026 Spring Garden St. etix.com

Family Fun | Mother-Daughter Tea For Two… Or a Few

Take your little girl out for a sweet Chick-fil-A lunch. Make some lasting memories, sip some tea and hang out with the cow all night long. This seems like the perfect welcoming environment for a family night out. | 6 pm. $8-$17. Philadelphia Fraternal Order of Police Lodge #5, 11630 Caroline Rd. eventbrite.com


Music | DMX

We don’t know what he’s brought, but X is definitely gonna give it to Philly. He’s here to celebrate being in the game for over 20 years. We don’t even think you’re ready for this, even though we let you know about this one a while ago. | 9 pm. $40. Theatre of the Living Arts, 334 South St. livenation.com

Discussion | Public Lands, Private Hands

This is a serious talk about the use and exploitation of land, such as national parks and monuments. Tribal leaders and activists will drive the discussion. Educate yourself on environmental racism, displacement and all the other horrible things people do to profit off Earth. | 6:30 pm. Free. Slought, 4017 Walnut St. eventbrite.com

Discussion | Cultural Accessibility Forum & Exchange

Cultural organizations embrace everything that would make our world more inclusive. In this conference, ways to be more accessible to people with disabilities will be discussed. All organizations should focus on accessibility, and this is helping to push that idea forward.  3 pm. Free. Friends Center, 1501 Cherry St. eventbrite.com

Food & Drink | The Godfather Birthday

The head chef of an Italian restaurant will be serving up a grande feast fit for a Don. There’ll even be a 10 foot cannoli cake for the occasion. Does it get more Italian than this?  | 6 pm. Free. Rim Cafe, 1172 S. 9th St. facebook.com

Music | Birds in Row

These French punks will be in town to connect with their fans. The members names are anonymous, because they wanna focus on their music and now who’s creating it. Pretty deep. | 6 pm. $13. Voltage Lounge, 421 N. 7th St. ticketweb.com

Party | Miami Vice Tropical 80s Night

Get out that white suit jacket and wear your sunglasses at night. We could only wish we were in Miami for this, but spending the night by the Delaware is close enough. | 10 pm. Free. The Barbary, 951 Frankford Ave. facebook.com

Event | Positivity & Productivity: Yoga & Networking

Part of Philly Tech Week, this event will teach you to simply live life with a more positive mindset. Unlock the secrets to being more productive in a more fulfilling way. This is a refreshing event to take you away from all the madness of a whole week celebrating technology | 5:30 pm. Free. The Yard, 21 S. 11th St. eventbrite.com

Music | Xiu Xiu

This band is no stranger to experimenting with complex sounds. Jam out with them as they create their own kind of vibe. We don’t know what’s in store, but that’s what makes it more fun.| 9 pm. $16. Underground Arts, 1200 Callowhill St. ticketfly.com

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