Calendar: March 28 – April 4



Sports | Phillies Opening Day Party

We don’t much go in for sports around these alt-weekly parts, but every now and then we’re willing to make an exception for an event that seems especially … exceptional. Take this Phillies Opening Day Party, for example. The Phils will play 180 games, so usually if you’re partying, it’s on your own. But with so much renewed hope for the season (Thanks, Bryce!) and the eventual arrival of summer, we figure it’s as good a time as any to dip into the old Philadelphia Sports pool. | 11am. Free. Xfinity Live!, 1100 Pattison Ave.

Eat | The Philadelphia Restaurant Festival

Regular readers will know we were hawking the 2019 Philly Chef Conference no less than two weeks ago, touting all the tips and tricks you’d learn from some of the top minds in the culinary world. Well … guess what? We’re back with yet another festival of food, a conference of culinary delights. Only this time, there’s no tips and tricks; just delicious food from all across the city. | 6pm. Prices vary. Crystal Tea Room, 100 E. Penn Square.

Education | Milk Safety in the 20th Century

Listen. We’ll be the first to admit it; this isn’t the most exciting event we’ve ever offered you. It’s not exciting, it’s not sexy; it just is. But more than simply existing, it’s also interesting and informative and, you’d be surprised to find out, more necessary than you’d think … at least when it comes to curing brucellosis, a formerly major foodborne and agricultural disease. | 6pm. Free. Science History Institute, 315 Chestnut St.

Games | ‘It’s Always Sunny’ Quizzo

You’ve seen the show, you love the cast, you know all the lines. Test your knowledge of one of the most iconic niche comedies to ever come out of the City of Brotherly Love. Plus, it’s an opportunity to one-up all the people who think they know more than you do – and we all love that, right? | 9 pm. Free. City Tap University City, 3925 Walnut St.

Food & Drink | The Main Course: A Guided Culinary Experience

Quit watching all those stupid cooking shows and get your butt into the kitchen … to watch as a classically-trained Chef cooks you a delicious four-course meal that you then get to devour in front of him like hungry cattle! Join Hugo’s Executive Chef Andrew Pearce as he guides you on a culinary journey through the evening’s meal. | 7pm. $140. Hugo’s, 1001 N. Delaware Ave.

Games | Nickelodeon’s “Double Dare” Live

We were going to make a joke about how only 90s kids would be interested in this event but, did you know that this one-of-a-kind kid’s game show actually first aired in 1986? And only ran through 1993? With a short-lived revival in 2000? So yeah, 90s kids will be interested in this event. But so will everyone else. And let’s be honest; it may not be “Guts” or “Legends of the Hidden Temple,” but it’s still a part of our (see; just about everyone’s) childhood. | 730pm. Prices vary. Merriam Theater, 250 S. Broad St.

Event | An Evening with Women in Leadership

Sometimes, knowing you can do something is as simple as seeing someone who looks like you, talks like you and/or thinks like you do it first. For a lot of little girls, there aren’t many in the way of strong female role models in positions of power. This event aims to change that, offering the perspectives of several successful women who hope to share their achievements with the next generation of female leaders. | 7pm. $15. National Liberty Museum, 321 Chestnut St.

Music | Electric Dreams- An 80s Pop Dance Party

The 80s were a very interesting time. Big hair, bigger egos but also big, bold music. From rock to pop to synth, it was all awesome and all to be relived at Franky Bradley’s with this dope event as some of the greatest hits of the era will be spun by DJ Baby Berlin and Mike Schaffer. | 10 pm. $4. Franky Bradley’s, 1320 Chancellor St.

Music | Big Wild

Philadelphia is the next stop for this band, who’ve embarked on a nationwide trip called the Superdream Tour. Is it really a dream? Who the fuck knows, but that’s why you should get tickets and go find out. | 8 pm. $20. Theatre of Living Arts, 334 South St.


Music | Sonic Seasonal at Skyspace w/ Laraaji

This is the third installment of Atlas Obscura Philadelphia’s Sonic Seasonal event, this time featuring multi instrumentalist, Laraaji, who specializes in piano, zither and … mbira? 20 bucks says no one reading this knows what those last two instruments are, but when you listen to them while wandering a space inspired by Quaker minimalism, you’re sure to, well, be just as confused – yet inspired – as ever. | 630pm. $40. The Skyspace at Chestnut Hill Meeting, 20 E. Mermaid Ln.

Party | Busted House Party 2

“Busted” isn’t usually a term you want to hear associated with a house party. Chances are, if that’s the word you’re hearing, then the party was either busted by the pigs (just kidding; we love cops … well, the good ones, at least) or was, well, just a straight up bust. But don’t worry about that here; this party’s anything but a let down (though it is the last of the “Busted” event series, so maybe don’t waste this chance). | 8pm. $6. No Hype Music, 2445 S. 10th St.

Music | You Are Ok: The Maine Album Release

The Maine make music for people who suffer from some type of mental health issue, but cope with it by wearing a lot of pink and making self deprecating jokes. And if you think we mean that in a negative way, don’t; we’re literally describing ourselves. Well, maybe except for the whole wearing pink thing. We much prefer purple as dark as the depths of our souls. | 9pm. $40. Main Street Music, 4444 Main St.

Education | ‘Concerning Violence’ Screening & Conversation

Surprisingly, colonialism has never quite produced the results – a docile, subservient people, hyped to join the empire and more than happy to act as a sort of home away from home for the colonisers – it intended (though it did still manage to expand the empire … for a while). “Concerning Violence is a visual narrative based on archive material from Swedish documentaries, covering Africa’s most daring moments in the struggle for liberation from colonial rule.

Comedy | Gary Clark Jr.

It seems so silly that companies are still offering physical CD copies with the purchase of an event ticket. Sure, owning a copy of Gary Clark Jr.’s latest offering full of fuzzy guitar tones and soulful blues ballads is awesome and we should all be so lucky … it’s just that when given the option between an actual CD and a digital version of the album, we’re betting most fans will skip the one that requires a defunct laptop feature or (gulp) a boombox in order to play. | 830pm. Prices vary. The Met, 858 N. Broad St.

Music | XPN Welcomes: RFA with Secret American, Ritual Talk, Ali Awan

Anything XPN puts their vouch on it usually turns to a great night of music. OK, that was just a blanket statement, but it’s one we feel confident making. Plus, Underground Arts is one of the best places to see an event. OK, another blanket but again you’re picking up what we’re trying to do here, so go check this one out. | 9 pm. $12-$15. Underground Arts, 1200 Callowhill St.

Spirituality | Devamrita Swami: Living with My Mind, Where’s My Peace?

If there ever was someone that could help you get your shit together it’s Devamrita Swami. He’s here this month to help you answer some of your most burning questions about life, love, finance and following a path that ensures you’re your best self. You owe it to yourself to hear him out, you might even find it the best $10 you’ve ever invested in yourself. | 6 pm. $10. Mantra Lounge, 312 E. Girard Ave.

Theater | ‘The Picture of Dorian Gray’

A one-man recreation of one of the best Oscar Wilde novels out there. Also, you can boast that you caught a “world premiere” at a tiny playhouse mansion, which always makes for one hell of a conversation starter at that dinner party featuring all varying types of mundane conversation. You’re welcome. | 7 pm. $15-$30. Ebenezer Maxwell Mansion, 200 W. Tulpehocken St.


Charity | Food For Thought 2019

We know who we are, and we’re stickin’ to our guns; te most important aspect of this event is the fact that a portion of the proceeds goes to benefit ACHIEVEability, which works to break the generational cycle of poverty for low income, single parent and homeless families. The rest – loads of food, live music, games and fun at one of Philadelphia’s iconic locations – matters too, just not quite as much as the first part. | 730pm. Prices vary. Reading Terminal Market, 12th & Arch Sts.

Flea Market | Indoor/Outdoor Antique & Vintage Market

Ok, so this is actually more like two events in one, which, come on … where else are you getting that kind of bang for you nonexistent buck? You’re welcome, Philadelphia. Anyway. There’s an indoor antique flea market at Cherry Street Pier and, for the more adventurous amongst us, an outdoor version at Race Street. Double your chances of finding something awesome, double your chances at an unforgettable Saturday. You’re welcome, Phi – oh, we did that already. | 8am. Free. Cherry Street Pier, 121 N. Columbus Blvd.

Comedy | Dane Cook: Tell It Like It Is

We might be old (We are, in fact, old), but it feels like just yesterday that Dane Cook was selling out auditoriums and taking the comedy world by storm. We’re not sure what Mr. Cook has been up to in the intervening days/months/years???, but we’re willing to bet it was as dark and frantic as it was funny. Also, any comedians wondering what it takes to make the jump to the silver screen need only watch the movie “Waiting.” Thank us later. | 7pm. Prices vary. The Met, 858 N. Broad St.

Food & Drink | Philly Pupusa Pop-Up

Nothing gets us quite as excited as delicious treats. The treats, of course, can take many different forms, whether that be salty, sweet or something decidedly in-between. Pupusas tend to be on the savory side of things (Though we certainly won’t begrudge anyone the decision to think outside the piquant box), and these come decked out with cheese. All you gotta bring is your appetite; let Madre y Hija Loroko do the rest. | 12pm. $10+. 1149 Cooperative, 1149 S. 9th St.

Music | The Millennium Tour

It’s an R&B and hip hop mega-tour, and everyone and their overfed, underemployed brother-in-law who won’t ever put more than $5 of gas in his car at any one time but will shell out (Or at least says he’ll shell out) a couple hundred bucks to go see B2K, Mario, Pretty Ricky, Lloyd, Ying Yang Twins, Chingy, and Bobby V, are invited. Maybe just make him pay for the tickets, otherwise you’re never getting paid back. | 730pm. Prices vary. The Liacouras Center, 1776 N. Broad St.

Music | ABBArama- 70s & 80s ABBA Dance Party

Go be a Dancing Queen in the heart of South Philly as one of the most iconic bands (think hair bands before hair bands are paid homage at the Dolphin Tavern. Where if you’re going to devote a night to ABBA, the Dolphin would be it. Cheers. | 10 pm. $5. Dolphin Tavern, 1539 S. Broad St.

Festival | Polish American String Band Spring Fling Vendor Event

Come have a good time supporting a Philadelphia staple. Even if you’re not a fan of the Mummers, marching bands or music in general, you still live in Philadelphia and this group is Philly. Plus, if you’re up that way you can stock up on ALL the pierogies you can fit in the trunk of your car because the Polish markets in Port Richmond don’t play. | 12 pm. Free. Polish American String Band Clubhouse, 2727 E. Westmoreland St.

Family Fun | Play-A-Palooza 2019

Bring the kids for a day of fun and for a great chance to have the staff and the great equipment at Smith serve as babysitters for a while. It’s all the fun for them and all the time you need to catch up on work emails on a Saturday on your smartphone. If only you could bring in an adult beverage to this event it’d be a slam dunk, but if you have kids, then we already know you’ll take a layup at this point. | 12 pm. $10. Smith Memorial Playground & Playhouse, 3500 Reservoir Dr.


Arts | Art Star Pop Up Market

Welcome, one and all, to the bizarre bazaar at Cherry Street Pier. We’re mostly kidding about it being bizarre, though we’re willing to bet that at any local art market you’re bound to happen upon at least one item that makes you go, “Hm. Is that really something that another person would make, let alone buy?” Because the answer to both is yes, even if the reasoning forever remains a mystery. | 11am. Free. Cherry Street Pier, 121 N. Columbus Blvd.

Music | SoDown at Silk City

SoDown, for those who aren’t “in the know,” is a musician from the Colorado scene whose real name is Ehren River Wright. And while we could focus on what makes his music so unique, the organic instrumentation melded with wailing walls of smooth, sonic silk, what we really wanna talk about is … the name. SoDown is awesome but, come on … your given name is Ehren River Wright! You didn’t even need to come up with a stage name! River Wright. Ehren. Consult us next time (Or don’t; you’re awesome as-is). | 8pm. $12. Silk City Diner Bar & Lounge, 435 Spring Garden St.

Event | Bad & Boozy Brunch

It’s bad. It’s boozy. And it’s sure as shit gonna be brunch. That’s how you know an event is gonna be good; they don’t mince words. They don’t keep you in the dark about what’s coming. In a few characters or less you know everything you need to know about the where, the when and, most importantly, the why. The why here? Because it’s Sunday, and because we can. | 11am. Free. City Tap University City, 3925 Walnut St.

Music | Cry Baby / Everyday / Rob Paine & Francisco Collazo

People like to rag on DJs, but to be honest we’ve never really understood why. Ok so maybe they, by and large, don’t play instruments or approach music in any classical sense whatsoever. But … have you ever been at a party or a show where the DJ was straight killin’ it? Do you remember how that felt, how propulsive the music seemed to be, urging the party on to newer and greater heights with each track? Yeah. That’s what Cry Baby does. | 10pm. $15. Warehouse on Watts, 923 N. Watts St.

Arts & Crafts | Sippin’ and Stitchin’

Know what’s an underrated skill nowadays? Sewing. Being able to mend garments or make your own is a largely lost art (Maybe less-so here in Philly, what with all our pop-up art markets and hip sartorial shops). But Sippin’ and Stitchin’ is trying to change that. And what better way to get through to millennials than by teaching them something in their natural habitat; sipping a microbrew and teetering on a bar stool? | 3pm. $40. Frankford Hall, 1210 Frankford Ave.

Family Fun | Philadelphia Royal Princess Ball

Has your little one ever dreamed of being a princess? Well here’s your chance for them to experience what being a princess is all about. There’s princess games, sing-alongs, dance and so much more. They say there’s fun for the whole family, so mom, dad you can break out the tutus and tiaras get into the spirit as well. Deep down, you know you want to. | 9 am. $32-$47. Sheraton Valley Forge Hotel, 480 N. Gulph Rd.

Discussion | Classy Broads and Daring Dames of South Laurel Hill

End Women’s History Month on a high note at Laurel Hill Cemetery as this event will honor some of the best ladies that have made a mark on our society and the growth of our nation and worldwide. It all wraps with a high toast to the women of the past, the ones making a difference today and the future of tomorrow. Now that, we will always drink to. | 1 pm. $12-$15. Laurel Hill Cemetery, 3822 Ridge Ave.

Health & Wellness | Self Care Spa Retreat with Bendy Jane Yoga

Self-care, self-love. Do both and work on your yoga poses at this event catered to recentering your mind, body and spirit.| 11 am. $30-$175. Touch & Glow Relaxation Lounge, 4112 Station St.


Event | Fools Day Throwdown

We’ll be celebrating April Fool’s Day the only way we know how; by going to a show. This one in particular. It features Britney Spears and Mario Lopez, but only Mario will be performing … just kidding! It’s actually a fighting event featuring Mike Tyson and Marie Kondo. You’d think Tyson has the upper hand, but Marie’s quick … just kidding! It’s actually a metal show featuring SKYBURIAL and Somewhere To Call Home … just kidding! Or are we … (We’re not; that’s what this is). | 5pm. $10. The Fire, 412 W. Girard Ave.

Culture | Art, Culture, and The City After Dark

24HrPHL consider themselves a collective “dedicated to building resources and community with a progressive vision for Philly’s nightlife arts and culture.” This event is a “presentation and discussion of themes and ideas in nightlife and a workshop for ongoing projects.” Put it all together and you get the confluence of art, culture and a vivaciously vivid vision of the city after dark. | 6pm. Free. Franky Bradley’s, 1320 Chancellor St.

Comedy | Ryan O’Flanagan

Ryan O’Flanagan is a comedian on the rise; this might well be your last chance to see this budding comedy star before all the glitz and glamor swallows him whole and suddenly you have to pay upwards of 100 bucks just for the chance to sit in the back row and squint at his tiny, gesticulating figure in the stage-lit distance. Or maybe this is his peak. Guess we’ll find out (We’re rooting for you, Ryan)! | 8pm. Prices vary. Punch Line Philly, 33 E. Laurel St.

Film | ‘Aquaman’ Screening

Did it happen? Did DC finally get it right? Can Khal Drogo aka Arthur Curry aka Jason Momoa aka Jason Ioane (Look it up) aka Aquaman save the comic book corp all by his gills and garter (Seriously, what’s with the outfits, superheroes?) lonesome? There’s only one way to find out … drive to Hollywood, buy a star map, find your way to Jason’s house and–wait. No. Nevermind. Don’t do that. Just go see the movie instead. | 630pm. $3. The Trocadero, 1003 Arch St.

Film | Mad Rex Movie Monday: ‘To Wong Foo’

It probably goes without saying, but we’ll say it anyway; if you’re a fan of drag queens and/or drag shows, you’re almost assuredly a fan of the film, “To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar.” The truth is though, the inclusion of drag queens isn’t the only mark in its favor (Although Swayze looking finer than powder sugar and twice as sweet is its own delicious treat); it’s just a good movie. Like, really good. Really, really good. | 7pm. Free. Mad Rex, 4 E. Laurel St.

Discussion | An evening with Tarana Burke, ‘Me Too’ Founder

Want to know the state of women in business, entertainment, media and more in the aftermath of the #MeToo movement? The founder of this hashtag revolution will be hosting a talk on the campus of Rutgers-Camden. A discussion that should open the minds and hearts of those looking to make our world a more equal place or at least ask the question of ‘why the fuck isn’t it already?’ | 7 pm. Free. Walter K. Gordon Theatre, Rutgers University – Camden, 314 Linden St.

Food & Drink | Tacos and Tequila Tasting

There’s not much we need to say about this event. If you don’t like tacos or tequila then speed right past this jawn. But if you do then you’re in for a treat as La Roca is quite possibly one of the best places in the city to enjoy both. Come with an appetite and have fun. | 6 pm. Prices vary. La Roca Manayunk, 4161 Main St.

LGBT Friendly | Queer & Trans Power Yoga

Workout your all your senses in a room filled with equal hearts, minds and souls focused on a collective desire to live their best self. Plus this place is literally across the street from Johnny Brenda’s so for those looking to fill an appetite after all that reflection and calorie burning, you can stuff your gut with one of the best burgers around.  | 7:45 PM. $10. Grace & Glory Yoga Fishtown, 2220 Frankford Ave.


Event | ‘Games of Thrones’ Trivia

Can you hear it? The sound … the sound in the distance. Like drums. The beating of bone on skin. Like thunder, waves crashing against a cliff. Like … the sound of death. Destruction. Of ice frozen and melted and frozen again, even harder than before, ripe for cracking. Shattering. The sound of winter. Voices in the distance, calling for help (It’s the smallfolk, but also the PSPCA; proceeds from this event go to benefit the animal welfare group). It’s coming, people, inching ever closer. So close, we can almost make out what they’re saying … “April 14. April 14.” | 7pm. $8. Punch Line Philly, 33 E. Laurel St.

Charity | PB & J Day

You can’t put a price on the unconditional love and support of a rescue animal. After days, weeks, months and, in some sad cases, years stuck behind the cold bars of a shelter pen, these animals are so happy to go home with you, they’ll shower you with the kind of love and affection usually reserved for mothers and their children. That being said, all an adoption will cost you at this event? A jar of peanut butter, sure to make the day of not just one shelter pup, but many. | 1pm. Free. ACCT Philly, 111 W. Hunting Park Ave.

Family friendly | Night Skies in the Observatory

We love an event like this, and not just because it involves silently learning about the celestial bodies floating free in the space all around us. It’s like a make-your-own-adventure book come to life; choose from any number of planetarium shows and tailor your experience to the kind of stuff that you find the most interesting. Of course, everything about this event is interesting, so choose wisely. Or just come back again next week. | 7pm. $10. The Franklin Institute, 222 N. 20th St.

Music | Manayunk JazzFest Kickoff: Bootsie Barnes & Larry McKenna

So it’s not quite New Orleans, but if there’s jazz and it’s part of a festival, you best believe we’ll be making an appearance. But we won’t be alone (Duh; it’d be pretty weird if someone put on a festival and some dweeb from Philly Weekly was the only one to show up). Kickoff three days of all things jazz with an evening of music with Philadelphia saxophone legends, Bootsie Barnes and Larry McKenna. | 8pm. $24.95. Venice Island Performing Arts Recreation Center, 7 Lock St.

Theater | ‘Frankenstein’

Right off the bat, this improv comedy showcase earns brownie points; they know that Frankenstein was the scientist, not the monster. Assuming that little bit of esoteric and highly unnecessary trivia didn’t drive you away, there’s more to this event than just another evening of improv. From the remnants of past improv groups comes the cunning creation of a wild, twisted mind … Frankenstein. | 730pm. $5. Philly Improv Theater, 2030 Sansom St.

Music | April Synth Night feat. Eric Mauro

Keyboards, guitars, pop. If you’re a fan of any of these then Eric Mauro has something really great in store planned for you and fellow Philadelphians like yourself. There’s something to be said for people devoting nights to music like this. Just proves you can’t keep a good thing down. | 8:30 pm. Free. Bridgeset Sound, 710 South St.

Games | Music Bingo

Here’s the thing with this gem. You can rock out to hits that will ultimately make you a winner if you can recognize what the DJ is spinning, or at the very least have one hell of a good time. Plus, a portion of the proceeds benefit a trip to Jamaica. But in the immediate, chase down a $25 City Tap Gift Card and tokens for your next pint. | 8 pm. Free. City Tap University City, 3925 Walnut St.

Family Fun | Daddy Daughter Date Night

For the past five years, the Chick-Fil-A in Whitman Square has paired dads and their daughters for a night of fun. With the event growing in huge popularity, it’s outgrown its space and will be heading to Lodge 5 of the Philadelphia Fraternal Order of Police inside their appropriately titled, Heroes Ballroom. Here’s to all the hero dads out there, making their littles feel oh, so special. | 6 pm. $8-$17. Philadelphia FOP Lodge 5, 11630 Caroline Rd.


Discussion | Revolution is the Solution: A Conversation with Boots Riley

Boots Riley, director of the wild sci-fi comedy, “Sorry to Bother You,” is one of those artists who never seems to stop. Or sleep. Like, where in life can you find the time to be not just a lead vocalist, but a well-known poet. A producer. A screenwriter. A director, community organizer and public speaker? We can barely find time to finish a load of laundry (We’ll put it away next week, we promise), but we get the sneaking feeling Boots isn’t finished. In fact, crazy as it may seem, Boots might just be getting started. | 5pm. Free. Lightbox Film Center, 3701 Chestnut St.

Music | Mariah Carey: Caution World Tour

At this point, it seems like we only ever see Mariah during major holidays, specifically New Year’s Eve when she gets to rockin’ round the clock with plastic faced Jenny McCarthy and little elf-man Ryan Seacrest. So, it’s good to know she’s still got that whole touring thing in her. A voice as amazing as hers isn’t meant to be heard on chaotic, mindless, tape-delayed tv. | 8pm. Prices vary. The Met, 858 N. Broad St.

Event | Dylan McKay 90210 Quizzo

We may have missed the boat – more like a yacht, maybe even a superyacht – on “90210,” but we know just how much Dylan McKay aka Luke Perry meant to American teens and tweens in the mid-90s. Perry passed away unexpectedly last week and it seems only fitting that we pay homage with what is likely his most well-known role. Rest in peace, Luke. You may be gone, but you and Dylan won’t be forgotten. | 8pm. Free. Maggie’s, 9242 N. Delaware Ave.

Education | CBD Cocktail Class

If you don’t know about Art in the Age, we suggest going back a few months to check out our interview with owner and chief evangelist, Steven Grasse. The short version is that they consult with some of the biggest names in the spirit industry. The more in-depth version is that they concept and develop some of the most interesting and groundbreaking products in the alcohol space. Up next on their (and your) to-do list? CBD cocktails. | 6pm. $40. Art in the Age, 116 N. 3rd St.

Music | Neyla Pekarek & Dirty Dollhouse

How. Fucking. Cool. The whole idea of a “concept album” has sort of fallen by the wayside as CDs gave rise to MP3s and streaming services, making it too easy for people to skip from song to song and artist to artist. Neyla Pekarek is a cellist with a love for folk who knows that a full album can tell a story – in this case, the story of Rattlesnake Kate, a well-known Colorado pioneer woman – in a way that no single song can. | 8pm. $18. World Cafe Live, 3025 Walnut St.

Art | Drink & Draw

Have a chance to get away from work, the kids or whatever else sucks up the bulk of your days on Planet Earth and get with some like-minded people who just want to enjoy a beer, wine or cocktail and…doodle. There’s a reason it’s been around for so long. That shit is therapeutic. | 6 pm. Prices vary. Philadelphia Museum of Art, 2600 Benjamin Franklin Pkwy.

Discussion | Zine Workshop with SOL Collective

There has been a ton of good coming out of the Kensington Storefront initiatives, and this event is no different. Come check this out knowing that you’re supporting a better connection between local community and the organizations within them dedicated to assisting those who truly need it. So sneak out of work a little early and come see the work being put in. | 3 pm. Free. Kensington Storefront, 2774 Kensington Ave.

Family Fun | Luau Skate Party

Take the family out, dust off your rollerblades and your best Hawaiian shirt and go make a fool out of yourself. You’ll skate around to some tunes, you’ll buy the kids some overpriced food, shit, you might even fall a few times, but at least you’ll be doing it all as a family and that in our opinion is the best part. Plus, you’ll be the coolest mom and dad on the block keeping the kids out for a day to go skate it up. | 1 pm. Prices vary. Rolling Thunder Skating Rink, 7017 E. Roosevelt Blvd.


Comedy | Crime and Cookies

“A live true crime comedy show and bake sale.” We mean … come on. It’s like this event was tailor-made for the pages of Philly Weekly. We can’t be sure, obviously, but we have to assume that they came up with it knowing full well that we’d wind up writing about it. Those Tattooed Mom jerks; we love them so much. Anyway. Join local comedians Gina and Andrea as they host a live interactive comedy show focusing on the survivors of the most notorious true crime stories. Then eat delicious baked treats. It’s a classic win-crime-win. | 830pm. Free. Tattooed Mom, 530 South St.

Music | Hatebreed

Sometimes, a band name can be confusing. And not just because it’s nonsensical, like Panic! At the Disco or Hoobastank. Sometimes, it’s as simple as the musical content not matching the tone of the name. That is not the case for Hatebreed, who’ve been pounding out their particular brand of murderous metalcore since the mid 90’s. There’s an undeniably satisfying (If ultimately scary) symmetry in that, we think. | 630pm. $19. Franklin Music Hall, 421 N. 7th St.

Games | ‘Mean Girls’ Quizzo

We’ve all been Cady Heron at one point or another in our lives. Coming from Africa, where her parents were committed zoologists and homeschooled their daughter as a result, Cady isn’t prepared for the many invisible, but undeniably real pitfalls of American high school life. And while most of us didn’t grow up in the wilds of Africa, that feeling of not quite fitting in bridges nearly every distance imaginable. | 730pm. $13. Philadelphia Film Society, 1412 Chestnut St.

Workout | Race the Bus 5

As always, we’ll apologize for hosting a fitness-themed event; working out is terrible and no person should ever be forced to run for more than five consecutive minutes. That being said, we know there are at least a few of you out there who’d actually (gulp) enjoy a running event. Please, just take this Clean Air Council, SEPTA and West Philly Runners event and go. Literally, race a bus and, in the process, train for the upcoming Run for Clean Air if you must; just don’t force us to join or watch. We beg you. | 515pm. Free.

Film discussion | ‘The Field Guide to Evil’ Screening

Folklore and mythology are the best. Like, have you ever really looked into all the myths and folktales that make up our wild, uncontrollable country? The minute we let our imaginations run wild, they find themselves caught in some truly disturbing muck. How else would something like “The Field Guide to Evil,” a feature-length folklore anthology film directed by Veronika Franz and Severin Fiala, Peter Strickland, Agnieszka Smoczynska, Katrin Gebbe, Can Evrenol, Calvin Reeder, Ashim Ahluwalia and Yannis Veslemes, come to be? | 730pm. $12. PhilaMOCA, 531 N. 12th St.

Food & Drink | Global Tastes 2019

Taste some of the best food from all over the world as you’ll also learn about the cultures that have created these insane culinary creations. On top of all that you’ll have some great watercooler talk the next day as you can boast trying something new your coworkers have never heard of. We’re sure of it. | 6 pm. Prices vary. WHYY, 150 N. 6th St.

Nightlife | Wharton 54: Heroes & Villains

If you love cosplay, dress-up or even putting on a little more eye shadow than the average person, than this bash is right up your alley, in a remake of iconic New York nightclub, Studio 54. It’ll be a night to remember, we know because unlike the original Studio 54 scene, you can’t buy choice drugs in the bathroom of the club. Or maybe you can. If so, it’s sure to be one hell of a re-creation. | 10 pm. Prices vary. Voyeur Nightclub, 1221 Saint James St.

Discussion | The Strange World of Seeds

If you love you some botany, then you need to consider the following as experts from Longwood Gardens will be in town to discuss the lifeblood of agriculture, plant life and biodiversity as we know it: seeds. Seeds of all types will be up for discussion so no question is a dumb one. Learn how these little nuggets of life have sustained life to date. | 6:30 pm. Prices vary. The College of Physicians of Philadelphia, 19 S. 22nd St.