Calendar: March 14-21

THURSDAY, MARCH 14

THURSDAY, MARCH 14

Food & Drink | Irish Spirit Speakeasy

What was Ireland like in the 1920s? If you don’t know the answer to that question, this may be your last best chance to find out (or, ya know, you could Google it … but definitely don’t do that). So get gussied up in your finest anachronistic fabrics – we’re talking caps, overcoats, suspenders, flapper-style dresses, cloche hats and whatever else you can dig out of the time machine – and get ready for an evening of music, dancing and a whole hell of a lot of Teeling Irish Whiskey. | 7pm. $50. Philadelphia Ethical Society, 1906 Rittenhouse Sq. eventbrite.com

Learn | Art and Politics, From Graphic to Cinema

What came first; the politics or the art? In lieu of an answer, take this chance to join Marjane Satrapi, creator of the graphic novels “Persepolis” and “Chicken With Plums” and director of their film adaptations, as well as the movies “The Voices” and the upcoming “Radioactive,” as she discusses her art and the many ways in which politics have, and will continue to be, threaded through it. | 430pm. Free. Annenberg Center for the Performing Arts, 3680 Walnut St. eventbrite.com

Music | Masked Intruder

Intruder Blue, Intruder Green, Intruder Yellow and Intruder Red; these are the identity-less individuals that comprise the truly unique musical masterpiece known simply as Masked Intruder. Join these masked mavens (they literally wear ski masks) for an evening of sugary pop-punk that’s eerily reminiscent of early Green Day, and just bound to lead you with a toothache. | 8pm. $15. The Fillmore, 29 E. Allen St. livenation.com

Trivia | Harry Potter Quizzo

From Hogwarts to Hogsmeade, Diagon Alley to Platform 9-¾, if you’ve got knowledge on all things Harry and/or Potter hidden away somewhere deep inside that Hermione-like brain of yours, then you best hop a broom and head on out to City Tap University City on Thursday night for a chance to hawk your otherwise useless wares in the hopes of taking home the grand prize … a $100 gift card that’ll buy you all the Poly Juice shots you could ever want. | 9pm. Free. City Tap University City, 3925 Walnut St. citytap.com

Music | Whiskey Myers’ Die Rockin’ Tour

Whiskey Myers has been rockin’ and rollin’ and tourin’ their Southern Souls out since 2008’s “Road of Life.” And if you like the feeling of flying off the back of a bucking horse and into the faded leather backseat of a red-hot GTO, gunned to the red and ripping through a cornfield, speakers blaring and windows down, the warm air of a sweet Summer night blowing back your hair and every single concern in the world, then this show just might be for you. | 8pm. $25. TLA, 334 South St. livenation.com

Show | Drag of Love

Do we need a “Flavor of Love” drag tribute show? No, probably not. Need is a strong word and, well, we need air and food and water; we don’t need a show. But at the same time, the world is a mess and our country and culture seem to be pulling apart at the seams, no matter how much we march and no matter how loud we shout. So maybe … just maybe … a “Flavor of Love” drag tribute show is actually exactly what we need. | 1am. Prices vary. L’Etage, 624 S. 6th St. eventbrite.com

FRIDAY, MARCH 15

Party | All That 90s Party

TLC, Mariah Carey, No Doubt, Nirvana, Backstreet Boys, NSYNC, Spice Girls, DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince, Madonna, Janet Jackson … is that enough? No? Ok, we’ll keep going. George Michael, Lenny Kravitz, Boyz II Men, Aaliyah, Paula Abdul, Hanson, Brandy, Monica, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Green Day, Pulp, Beck, Garbage, Alanis Morissette …. | 930pm. $10. Voltage Lounge, 421 N. 7th St. eventbrite.com

Fundraiser | JAM

As always, we’ve got the goods, right off the bat: This event is all about the eradication of cancer, with proceeds going to benefit the American Cancer Society. The rest of the particulars include an evening of chic cocktails and effortless conversation at the luxurious Ben Franklin Ballroom, and the warm and fuzzy feeling that comes along with helping people in need … by partying!? | 8pm. $100. Ben Franklin Ballroom, 834 Chestnut St. aspire-life.org

Music | MINKA Masquerade

We’re not going to demand that you drop whatever it is you’re doing and find the nearest device so that you can google, “Minka Sugar & Cream,” but by god, if we could we would. We honestly don’t know what to make of it. There’s oysters and eggs and a thick bassline that makes us run our tongue over our teeth without thinking. In other words, it’s literally the perfect music for a sensual masquerade party. | 8pm. $10. Warehouse on Watts, 923 N. Watts St. eventbrite.com

21+ | Parti B

It won’t just be Cardi B, but if you’re wondering if the whole vibe of this night is meant to match the bombastic, over the top, in your face style of The Woman Formerly Known as Belcalis Marlenis Almánzar, then you’re already ahead of the curve. Migos, Post Malone, Tyga, Nicki, Drake and plenty more will fill out the evening’s sound, but it’s gonna be a wild Cardi B kinda night. | 9pm. $5. The Fillmore, 29 E. Allen St. livenation.com

Music | Tritonal w/ Shaun Frank and Disco Fries

House. Trance. Electro. Pop. Future. If we asked you to name the genre most closely associated with Tritonal, you might answer with any of these options. But the actual correct answer would be … “yes.” As in, “Yes, they play all of those genres – sometimes simultaneously – and more. Their sound is electric and amorphous and so often indefinable. They are the here and now, as well as the future. They are us. We are them. Life.” | 830pm. $25. Franklin Music Hall, 421 N. 7th St. ticketmaster.com

Party | Emo Night Brooklyn: Philadelphia

It seems like these Emo Night Brooklyn shows keep popping up left and right, which is fucking great because, a) they’re awesome and b) it gives us fun and fulfilling events to write about every week. Of course, it’s confusing as hell that they’re called “Emo Night Brooklyn: Philadelphia,” but that’s not really important. Only jet black bangs and sad screamo bangers are important. | 1030pm. $13. The Fillmore, 29 E. Allen St. livenation.com

SATURDAY, MARCH 16

Party | Gatsby Gala Aboard the Moshulu

What better way to travel back in time to the Roaring 20s than by old wooden ship-turned-restaurant? Seriously though, if you’ve got a thing for opulent parties and vague green shapes, shifting in the distance (it makes sense, we swear), then this is the event for you. Get gussied up in your finest and step out for a night of glitz, glam and high-class grub … daddy-o. | 9pm. $45. Moshulu, 401 S. Christopher Columbus Blvd. eventbrite.com

Party | TRAP Karaoke

Ok, alright, ok, alright. This is actually the first time we’ve ever heard of TRAP Karaoke, but we can almost guarantee it won’t be the last time this event will be gracing these pages. Karaoke isn’t new, of course; Korean businessmen have been killing the ‘oke game for years. But what if, instead of singing “Hey Jude” and “Girls Just Want to Have Fun,” participants sang songs like “Back That Azz Up” and “Freek-A-Leek?” TRAP aims to find out. | 8pm. $32. TLA, 334 South St. universe.com

Music | Shamrocked w/ INFEKT

Let the shenanigans begin! For those not keeping track, St. Patrick’s Day 2019 is slated for Sunday, March 17. Which makes today, Saturday, March 16, St. Patrick’s Day Eve. And if you’re Irish, or maybe just fair-skinned with a drinking problem, or maybe just looking to get wild … before you get wild … then hit refresh on your browser and head to wherever this one-of-a-kind pre-party winds up. | 9pm. Prices vary. Secret Warehouse Location TBA. eventbrite.com

Shop | 3rd Saturday Village Vending

If it’s Philly and it’s local, you best believe we’re going to sell the hell out of it. So it was with Meek Mill’s two night run at The Met, and so it shall be with Village Vending at Franny Lou’s Porch. Sure, the local artists and vendors are Franny Lou’s may not enjoy the same kind of name recognition as ol’ Meeky, but that doesn’t mean they’re not still livin’ the dream (See what we did there?). | 10am. Free. Franny Lou’s Porch, 2400 Coral St. eventbrite.com

Party | Springfest Live! at Xfinity Live!

First, there was Winterfest. Now, from the mystic bosom of March comes … Not Quite Springfest! Just kidding. It’s actually just “Springfest,” but what with the weather being all wonky and whatnot, we figured we’d amend the name to better reflect our current reality. Speaking of which, if you’d like to escape that reality for an hour or two, maybe the majority of today, then boy howdy do we have an event for you …. | 2pm. Prices vary. Xfinity Live!, 1100 Pattison Ave. ticketfly.com

Learn | The Black Journalist’s Guide to Landing Internships/Fellowships

Planned and presented by The Philadelphia Association of Black Journalists, this event is all about real-life advice for young black journalists seeking inroads to a future professional career. You’ll have a chance to speak with current working journalists, and discover new opportunities for personal and professional growth. | 11am. Free. Pipeline Philly, 30 S. 15th St. eventbrite.com

SUNDAY, MARCH 17

St. Patrick’s Day | Kiss Me, I’m Irish Bar Crawl

This St. Patrick’s Day bar crawl may start at the Tavern on Broad, but there’s no knowing just where this wild ride will take you. Sure, you’ll probably make it to McGlinchey’s, probably even Howl at the Moon. But from there? Will you wind up downtown, talking to a homeless guy as you wait to use an ATM? Will you wind up in Queen Village, powering through a second burger? Or will you wind up right back at the Tavern, ready for round two and wondering where all your friends went? | 11am. $15. Tavern on Broad, 200 S. Broad St. eventbrite.com

Music | Gogol Bordello

“And the award for Weirdest Band in the World goes to … Gogol Bordello, who just barely edged out Bjork and The Voluptuous Horror of Karen Black! Gogol’s been in the running many times over the years, from ‘Start Wearing Purple,’ all the way through this, their 20th anniversary tour. This is their first win in the category, but there’s no way in hell it’ll be their last nomination.” | 830pm. Prices vary. Franklin Music Hall, 421 N. 7th St. ticketmaster.com

St. Patrick’s Day | Irish Stroll Bar Crawl

This might start out as a stroll, but we’re willing to bet at least one pot of Irish gold that this event will slow to crawl before you’ve reached the third bar. And that’s not a bad thing! Honestly, when you’re that full up on beer and soda bread, you don’t wanna be moving too fast anyway. So slow down. Drink with a purpose. And trundle onto the next venue only when you’re absolutely ready. | 1pm. $15. Fox & Hound, 1501 Spruce St. eventbrite.com

St. Patrick’s Day | Kegs N’ Eggs

Breakfast, beer and live music before noon? It must be St. Patrick’s Day. Or a weekday at Rob Gronkowski’s house. We don’t know what the rest of your Sunday is going to look like, but also it’s St. Patrick’s Day … quit worrying so much and enjoy all the extras this event has going on. Like Yards Brewing, onsite to offer tastings, giveaways and a steadying hand when you slip off your stool on your way to the bathroom. | 10am. $20. Hard Rock Cafe, 1113-31 Market St. eventbrite.com

Music | Lil Tracy

Lil Tracy has gone through many iterations before arriving on our screens and in front of our faces as, well, Lil Tracy. From Souljawitch to Yung Bruh to Tracy Minaj and simply, Tracy, the musically gifted boy who would become Lil Tracy can trace his roots back through a variety of scenes, from emo to punk, goth, hardcore and, of course, rap and hip hop. The result? A sound unlike anything you’ve ever heard before. | 8pm. $15. The Fillmore, 29 E. Allen St. livenation.com

Fitness | Pigs & Yoga

Also known as POGA, Pig Yoga is making its way back to Yoga Hive Philly for the very first time in 2019. Incredibly intelligent, sensitive animals, pigs are the perfect partners for an afternoon stretch sesh. They’ll oink and sniff and climb all over you as you try to simultaneously maintain your pose and keep from dissolving into a fit of laughter. The secret? Let the laughter come. | 130pm. $40. Yoga Hive Philly, 1914 E. Passyunk Ave. eventbrite.com

MONDAY, MARCH 18

Fitness | Hell (Yeah) Week

Reader, meet the November Project Philadelphia, a fitness event aimed at developing community through early morning workouts around the city. We’d also like to introduce you to Hell (Yeah) Week, which is actually five days of workouts in five separate locations, and the best part? It’s all free (Assuming you don’t consider rolling out of bed at 5am to put yourself through a strenuous workout “paying”). | 530am. Free. Philadelphia Museum of Art, 2600 Benjamin Franklin Pkwy. november-project.com/

Music | Pixies

Where is your mind? Well, if it’s not 100 percent focused on procuring tickets for this Pixies show, then we have to assume that something is very, very wrong. Perhaps you’ve suffered a pulmonary embolism, maybe a stroke. Some kind of episode, a detachment wherein your mind sought to reconcile the announcement of this show and the sale of tickets, and your lack of desire to attend. Where is your mind, indeed. | 730pm. $55. The Fillmore, 29 E. Allen St. livenation.com

Music | Kinky Friedman & Dale Watson

What’s a boy to do with a name like Kinky? Well, write blues and country songs, of course! Seriously though, Kinky Friedman has apparently been plucking the strings and crooning a tune since he was the ripe old age of 11. But it wasn’t until a trip to Borneo as a member of the Peace Corps that Kinky finally set about making the kind of music that’s really set the world to spinnin’. | 730pm. $39. The Locks Music, 4417 Main St. eventbrite.com

Fitness | Martial Arts Week Kick Off

While you chased girls and got drunk at parties, we studied the blade. While you sought pleasures of the flesh, we courted inner peace and outer terror. Now, thanks to years of rigorous training, our hands are the deadliest weapons in the world. Luckily for you, they won’t be anywhere but in our pockets as we peruse the demonstrations and matches at 2019’s Martial Arts Week. But should the peace be broken …. | 12pm. Free. Philadelphia City Hall, 1401 John F. Kennedy Blvd. eventbrite.com

Learn | Anton Paar at Philadelphia Brewing Company

If you’ve never heard of the Anton Paar Mobile Lab, don’t worry; we’ve got you covered. The Lab offers mobile access to state-of-the-art equipment and technology with exhibits designed to demonstrate instrument functionality … cool, right? This event aims to join all the awesomeness of The Lab with all the, well, awesomeness of a day sipping suds on a lawn chair. That’s a win-win if we’ve ever seen one. | 5pm. Free. Philadelphia Brewing Co., 2440 Frankford Ave. eventbrite.com

Music | Elizabeth Colour Wheel

Philly, Philly, Philly and more Philly; that’s really all you need to know about this event. Sure, is it awesome that Elizabeth Colour Wheel is a noisy punk band with shoegaze elements and a hint of Norwegian black metal for good measure? Of course. But is it even awesomer that Elizabeth Colour Wheel is a noisy punk band with shoegaze elements … that hails from Philly? Just like all the other bands on the ticket? You’re goddamn right it is. | 8pm. $10. Kung Fu Necktie, 1250 N. Front St. ticketfly.com

TUESDAY, MARCH 19

Music | Massive Attack

Man, are we lucky or what? The Met’s only been back a month or two and they’ve been absolutely crushing it the entire time, filling out their calendar with some of the biggest, best acts this side of the Schuylkill (And the other side, too). Massive Attack, the Bristol club scene-born rock/rap/pop/electro/everything band, continues that still-young, but definitely here-to-stay tradition. | 9pm. Prices vary. The Met Philly, 858 N. Broad St. livenation.com

Community | Stayin’ Alive: Harm Reduction for Party People

Philadelphians are, by nature, a tough bunch. We work hard, we live hard … it would only make sense that we party hard too. Of course, not everyone parties as hard as they can, but it’s probably safe to say there are a lot of hard partying people in Philly. Either way, it’s always good to brush up on safe living practices, whether it involves partying or not. | 6pm. Free. Warehouse on Watts, 923 N. Watts St. eventbrite.com

Comedy | Benito Skinner: Overcompensating

Benito Skinner is a many of many talents and, somehow, even more faces. Seriously, for every personality a normal person possesses, Skinner’s got at least four or five extras hidden away somewhere in the outsized personality repository he calls a brain. Short form sketch comedy may be where he got his start, but we’re willing to be Skinner’s recent jump to the stage might be a permanent move. | 8pm. Prices vary. Punch Line Philly, 33 E. Laurel St. livenation.com

Book Talk | Yaa Tanisha Muse

Yaa Tanisha Muse is an author and originator from Philly. She’ll be at Franny Lou’s Porch on Tuesday evening to discuss her book, “Gems & Juice,” conduct an excerpt reading, and sip some tea while telling you all you need to know about health and wellness in a world seemingly determined to keep you unhealthy and/or unwell. | 6pm. Free. Franny Lou’s Porch, 2400 Coral St. eventbrite.com

Comedy | Call Me Big Poppa: Dad Jokes

From lightly fried fish fillets to, “Hi, sleepy. I’m dad,” Dad Jokes have been killing it in the comedy game since before the dawn of man (Ok, ok; obviously not since before the dawn of man, more like with the rise of man, or at least the opening of the first Home Depot). This is your chance to prove to your significant other that the powers they speak of, whispered only in hushed tones and passed down through the generations, comedic powers only a select few may wield, truly exist. | 7pm. Free. Mad Rex Restaurant and Virtual Reality Lounge, 1000 Frankford Ave. eventbrite.com

Learn | An Evening with Laverne Cox

If you’ve ever seen “Orange is the New Black”, then you’re already well aware of who Laverne Cox, otherwise known as Sophia Burset, the transgender prisoner whose had to fight to get the hormonal treatments to complete her transition. In real life, Cox may not be a felon, but she’s faced many of the same issues as Sophia, and more. Here, she’ll share her experiences and what she hopes the future may soon look like. | 7pm. $15. Irvine Auditorium, 3401 Spruce St. ticketleap.com

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 20

Show | Tyler Perry’s Madea’s Farewell Play Tour

Oh. My. Lawd. She comin’! She comin’! No, we’re not talking about the Mega Chonker cat from The Internet’s favorite new meme; we’re talking about Mama Madea aka Tyler Perry aka The Original Mega Chonker (Is that mean? Because that’s not at all what we’re going for). Say goodbye to everyone’s favorite matriarch the only way you know how; by laughing your ass off from the front row. | 730pm. Prices vary. The Met Philly, 858 N. Broad St. livenation.com

Movie | Salvador Dali: In Search of Immortality

Most people know Salvador Dali. Even if they don’t know him well, or even know him by name, they know his art, they know the melting clocks or the massive, meditative rose, hung high in the sky above two miniscule figures, outlined in shadow. But what about the man behind the masterpieces? And what about the woman, the muse, Gala Dali, who brought so much of it forth? | 7pm. $15. Landmark Ritz Five, 214 Walnut St. landmarktheatres.com

Learn | The Art of Oral

We know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, “This can’t possibly be a sex education event, aimed at providing people the tools to safely and adeptly perform cunnilingus, anilingus and/or fellatio, including information on anatomy, technique and all the many other elements that fall between.” But you’d be wrong, because that’s exactly what this is. | 630pm. $25. The Velvet Lily, 1204 Chestnut St. eventbrite.com

Music | Sittin’ In ft. Brandee Younger

It’s not everyday you get the opportunity to go to the Kimmel Center and watch a live performance by a classically-trained musician for free. But every now and then, that’s exactly what you get. Like right now! That’s what you’re getting; the opportunity to go see contemporary harpist Brandee Younger perform as part of Kimmel’s ongoing “Sittin’ In” series. | 9pm. Free. The Kimmel Center for the Performing Arts, 300 S. Broad St. kimmelcenter.org

Music | HypeCity Presents: #320Show

It’s everything hip hop, Philly and hyperlocal at the #320show presented by HypeCity. Wondering what that string of words meant? We got you covered. HypeCity is an ongoing showcase of the hottest hip hop talent in Philly. Hosted by HypeCity founder Gerzy Gliss and T.H.E. of the IIour Show, and featuring performances by Kenif Muse, Funch the Camden Kid, Pretty Tsunami and more, this is where Philly’s hip hop goes to show out. | 7pm. $10. The Fire, 412 W. Girard Ave. eventbrite.com

Book Talk | T. Kira Madden’s “Long Live the Tribe of Fatherless Girls”

Growing up in Boca Raton was just as jarring and culturally confusing for literary essayist T. Kira Madden as you would think. But the beauty of pain and suffering at such a young age is the sight that it bestows upon you, a seemingly extrasensory ability to understand the world in a way most simply don’t. Or can’t. Or, possibly worst of all, won’t. | 630pm. Free. Shakespeare & Co., 1632 Walnut St. eventbrite.com

THURSDAY, MARCH 21

Party | Holi Glow Party

Holi is a Hindu spring festival, celebrated predominantly in India and Nepal and known both as the “festival of love” and the “festival of colors.” If you’ve got a neon green sari and an itch to dance the night away, then Veda has the even for you. Join DJ Kool and LED Hoop performers as the desi hits bump and we all try to convince ourselves that spring is finally, mercifully, really and truly here. | 9pm. Prices vary. Veda, 1920 Chestnut St. eventbrite.com

Movie | “Us” Advance Screening

Who in their right mind would have thought, even a year ago, that Jordan Peele, of “Key & Peele” and “Chocolate News” fame, would be the hottest name in horror filmmaking? No one, that’s who. But the world is a wild, untameable place and Mr. Peele isn’t interested in your limitations. He’s written and directed a second horror movie – “Us” – and we’re willing to bet it’s gonna be terrifying and bizarre and real, real good. | 7pm. $12. PFS Roxy Theater, 2023 Sansom St. filmadelphia.secure.force.com

Music | T-Pain

T-Pain’s found a lot of success in his life, made all the more impressive by the fact that, for the majority of it and up until very recently, he was just a singer/songwriter/rapper/producer. Honestly, it’s hard to see how he’s managed to stay famous for so long. But now that he’s finally done something worthwhile – winning “The Masked Singer” by singing Sam Smith ballads while dressed as a character from the movie “Monsters” – well … the sky’s the limit. | 8pm. Prices vary. TLA, 334 South St. livenation.com

Food & Drink | Cheese: A Taste of Cross-Cultural History

Food knows no bounds. And while that sounds like high-level hoity-toity nonsense, we swear it’s only a little bit of high-level hoity-toity nonsense, because it is, in fact, true. And there may be no better example than the cheese plate you’ll consider – and, of course, consume – as part of this free culinary class. They may sit close together on the plate, but each cheese you chew has its own unique story, and its own delectable history. | 6pm. $20. Free Library of Philadelphia Culinary Literacy Center, 1901 Vine St. eventbrite.com

Networking  | Ladies Get Paid: How to Be Your Own Boss

Being your own boss; that’s the ultimate American dream, right? Even in today’s America with depressed economics and a severe lack of well-paying jobs, running your own business remains the highest heights that most hope to reach. For women, reaching those heights can be even more arduous. Let other women who’ve already blazed that path, show you the way. | 6pm. $15. Hale Building, 100 S. Juniper St.eventbrite.com

Dance | Mad World: The New Wave Dance Party

It’s a mad, mad, mad, mad, wild and crazy and wholly un-fucking-believable world. But it’s our world, and it’s up to us to make the best of it. Fortunately, The Barbary crew have conjured a new dance party craze to help us all to forget the bad for a minute. Drink, dance to 80s jams and just float, letting the surreal sounds of our surreal world carry you off into the happy, the wholesome, the good. | 10pm. $3. The Barbary, 951 Frankford Ave. barbarylive.com