Calendar: Jan. 24-Jan. 31



Food & Drink | Battle of the Brews

Evil Genius, Love City, Kurant Cider … Philly has a metric fuckton of awesome in-city brewing going on these days. In fact, there’s so much deliciousness floating around it can be hard to get a handle on just which one is actually deserving of being called your favorite (of course, you’re also allowed to have several favorites … this is America, after all). And now is your chance to crown the King/Queen of Philly Fermentation. The Lord/Lady of Libations. The Duke/Duchess of Deliciousness. The .. Best Damn Beer in Town. | 530pm. Free. WeWork, 1010 N. Hancock St.

Music | Wu-Tang Clan

Tickets for this event aren’t cheap, but did you ever expect that they would be? It’s Wu-Tang for ODB’s sake! The RZA. The GZA. Their styles are unbreakable; you might even say, shatterproof. They speak to the young youth. Of course, these cats aren’t young anymore. But let’s keep it real, neither are some of you. Man, if you wanna feel good about yourself and about going to this concert, do yourself a favor and don’t look up when 36 Chambers was originally released. | 830pm. $99. Franklin Music Hall, 421 N. 7th St.

Music | FRQ NCY & Mindset – Perplexity Tour

We can’t even imagine how awesome it must feel to be a young producer like FRQ NCY and watch as the music you create starts to pick up steam, gaining notoriety across all of music-dom for its complexity and crunch. That’s right, kids. Crunchy grooves will abound at The Music Ward this Thursday, so bring your dancin’ shoes and get ready to dance the blues. | 9pm. $10. The Music Ward, 5101 Grays Ave.

Party | Marvelous Mrs. Maisel’s 50s Cocktail Party

Man, we really gotta watch this show. We’ve heard such good things from so many people but it’s just hard to add another streaming option to an already fully-booked schedule. Not like, a life schedule, obviously. Because if that were the case we wouldn’t be sitting on our asses watching reruns of “The Office” and “Parks and Recreation” and … ya know what? The hell with it. We’re squeezing in Mrs. Maisel before season 2 drops. Right after we watch the “Dinner Party” episode one more time. | 6pm. Prices vary. The Midtown, 114 S. 12th St.

Dance | Latin Night at the Lodge

Join Dance Republic, Telemundo 62 and Blue Cross RiverRink for “Latin Night at the Lodge” with LIVE Band, part of Philly’s biggest and best winter Latin dance events. It might be cold outside but it’s gonna be hot, hot, hot up in here. But not too hot. Like, just the right amount of hot. | 9pm. $5. Blue Cross RiverRink, 101 S. Columbus Blvd.

Music | Four Year Strong

Hardcore, emo pop, pop-punk … acoustic? You read that right. This is for all those emo screamo fans who like to keep it woodsy. You know the type. All bangs and bears. Hiking and Hot Topic. Camping and … wait, this is a thing right? We didn’t just make up an entire subsection of music fans, did we? Oh, we did. Well, in that case, ignore everything we just wrote and go see Four Year Strong at The Fillmore…with or without your favorite Bad Brains sleeping bag. | 715pm. $17. The Fillmore, 29 E. Allen St.

Party | Guys & Dolls

The original is a musical written by Frank Loesser and based on a series of New York underworld short stories written by Damon Runyon. That is not this “Guys & Dolls.” This version involves a lot more guys, a lot more makeup and a whole freakin’ life’s worth of panache and pizzazz. Seriously, these ladies might not be 1930s gangsters, but they’re serious as hell … except for when they’re joking. So keep your wits about you – it might get wild. | 8pm. $10. L’etage, 624 S. 6th St.

Learn | Herbs and spices for medicinal benefits

Herbs, spices and medicinal brews – not just for witches anymore! Seriously though, we use a dash of this, a pinch of that to ensure that any meal we make has the requisite depth of tastiness to make us go whole hog. But there’s more to the likes of marjoram and turmeric and cumin and coriander and rosemary and basil and … well, you get it. Find out what winter warming spices are the most nutritious, delicious and bound to make you a witch (just kidding on that last one). | 7pm. Free. Mt. Airy Nexus, 520 Carpenter Ln.


Music | Lotus/Tweed

Jam bands can be kinda, well, exhausting. And we don’t just mean the four-plus hour sets, although that’s certainly its own specific kind of exhausting. No, we mean more along the lines of … masturbatory. Like, some dude up on stage just wailing on a solo for 10 minutes longer than was even close to necessary. That’s what makes Lotus so damn awesome. They don’t just shove their chops in your face for four hours—they move from groove to groove, keeping you guessing what kinda sonic awesomeness you’ll hear next. | 7pm. $25. Union Transfer, 1026 Spring Garden St.

Film | Uncle Bobbie’s Friday Night Film: ‘Daughters of the Dust’

We always love it when an event, just by its nature and/or content, provides us with knowledge we did not possess prior. Take the Gullah, for example. They’re black folks who live in a very specific region of the US, in areas of Georgia and South Carolina. This film follows a Gullah family in 1902 as they struggle to keep their West African culture alive in a foreign, and at times hostile, land. Who knew? Now you do. | 7pm. Free. Uncle Bobbie’s Coffee & Books, 5445 Germantown Ave.

Music | Wu-Tang Clan

We’re putting this one again, not just because they added another show, but because it’s mother flippin’ Wu-Tang, and when the hell are any of us going to get another chance to see the men who made “Enter the Wu-Tang” live and uncut ever again? Honestly, maybe never. So if a Thursday night is too much to ask, get off your collective asses and make Friday the day you celebrate your Wu-versary. | 830pm. $99. Franklin Music Hall, 421 N. 7th St.

Learn | Dinos After Dark

This is definitely an all-ages event, but if you happen to enjoy Troegs as much as you enjoy a nice triceratops, maybe a mastodon and a Moscow Mule or three, a nice cup of mulled vino and a bit of conversation regarding the hunting techniques of Maastrichtian velociraptors, then come on down to The Academy of Natural Sciences, just remember the kids and keep the vino, Mules, and Troegs to a minimum. | 4pm. Prices vary. The Academy of Natural Sciences, 1900 Benjamin Franklin Pkwy.

Dog Bite Prevention Workshop

Dogs are wonderful creatures. They’ll love you unconditionally for little to no reason at all. They’ll be loyal to you from the day they’re born until the day they day—all they ask in return is a little love and companionship. And food. Lots of food. Unfortunately, plenty of dogs don’t get even that small ask. And many of them develop bad habits as a result. This is your chance to learn how best to handle a dog that’s suffered and, as a result, lacks the appreciation for human contact it otherwise would. | 6pm. $5. El Concilio, 141 E. Hunting Park Ave.

Music | Gryffin

Gryffin hasn’t been producing (both in the sense of actually creating music and, well, being a producer and … creating music) for all that long, but he’s already developed one hell of a following. 2014. That’s how long he’s been putting out tracks. Wild shit. And to hear him tell it, this wasn’t his plan at all. But it kinda seems like that’s how stuff goes. You plan for one thing, life sends you another. Guess all you can do is go … “Whole Heart.” | 8pm. Prices vary. TLA, 334 South St.

Music | Brothers Osborne

There’s so much awesome music out there these days, how is anyone supposed to know where to even start? We’re trying to give you a sort of starting spot, we guess, but in all honesty, you’re probably not going to a show unless you’ve heard of the band/musician before. Take the Brothers Osborne. They’re a hot new act in the even hotter world of country music. They sound fun as hell. Have you heard of them? Well, now you have! Guess that means you’re going. | 8pm. $35. The Fillmore, 29 E. Allen St.

For the Family | Third annual Superhero Gala

We here tell this event may sell out, so make certain you get your super suits ready way in advance. Any event that aims to celebrate the innate strength and courage of premature babies and their mothers is one we can get solidly behind. And honestly, even if the Gala itself is sold out by the time you read this, at least you’ll be aware of the Superhero Project and the awesome work they’re doing year-round. | 730pm. Prices vary. Crystal Tea Ballroom, 100 Penn Square Plaza.


Animal | Whisker Wonderland

It’s not often we’ll suggest you go lookin’ for a good time this far outside the cozy confines of our fair city, but you also know that if we’re gonna do that, it’s for a good cause. And what better cause than cats? Cats are cute. Cats are cuddly. Cats might not give it away as easy a dog, but once you earn their love … whoo boy, look out. | 10am. Free. Petsmart, 2100 Chemical Rd., Plymouth Meeting, PA 19462.

Festival | Founders Philly Freeze-Out

It’s winter wonderland time in Manayunk as a day of ice sculptures and hot cocoa descends on Main Street. Seriously, this is gonna be a winter bonanza unlike any Manayunk has ever seen (especially this year—it snowed, what, twice?). Ice carving demonstrations, live music, some guy sitting on a bench with a hand to his stomach muttering, “shouldn’t have had so much beer and chowder … oh god, here it comes!” It’s gonna be great. | 11am. Free. Manayunk, 4312 Main St.

Music | Matt Santry & Everything Turned To Color

Music is an amazing thing. The way a certain tone, a certain collection of voices, one single note sung in harmony, can produce such intense visceral reactions—it’s unlike anything else. They say smell is most closely tied with memory, but most of our memories are tied to music, to songs, to the soundtrack of our life at any one given moment in time. Singer-songwriter Matt Santry seeks not to just live in that moment with you, but to actually be that moment for you. | 8pm. $12. The Locks Music, 4417 Main St.

Shop | Third annual Art Star CRAP Bazaar

We usually don’t go in for straight-up shopping events … unless it features lots of awesome local art. So can you guess what this shopping event features? Hundreds of enormous kittens in trench coats. Wait. No, that’s not right. A pot-themed sing-along with Gritty and Merrill Reese? Nope, that’s not it either. Um … the accidental creations that local artists made while hoping to making something else (see; better)? Yeah! That’s it … we think. Either way, 25% of proceeds go to the ACLU and NLarts. | 6pm. Free. Art Star, 623 N. 2nd St.

Show | Dancing with the Stars: Live!

Who’s a second-class city now, motherfuckers! Not us, that’s for damn sure. We’ve got “Dancing with the Stars,” and honestly, there’s no better way to know that you’ve reached Cool City status than to host a reality show/contest live on stage at your brand spankin’ new high-class event venue. So hike up your Eagles-themed skirt and slip on your cheesesteak-shaped dancing shoes—it’s about to get classy as hell all up in this jawn. | 8pm. Prices vary. The Met Philly, 858 N. Broad St.

Learn | Walt Whitman: A Hand Lettering Workshop

Ahh, the Father of Free Verse. The Journalist Formerly Known as Walter. The Poet Whom Definitely Freakin’ Knew It. Walt Whitman was a transcendent talent, an author of, heretofore, unapproached brilliance. But with each passing day, we draw closer. With each swipe of our hand, every flourish of our pen, we watch as the formerly gaping gulf between us dwindles. With each … what’s that? Oh, the event. Oh yeah … it’s free and you get to take your hand-lettered Walt Whitman verse home with you. | 2pm. Free. Fisher Fine Arts Library, 220 S. 34th St.

Dance | Fold Theory feat. Shelley Johannson

You might not know Shelley Johannson, but she definitely knows you. Ok, that sounded a little creepier than we meant it to, but hear us out. We mean that she knows you, and us, and everyone else … she must, because she’s burst on the scene with a series of bangers that’d make even the most reticent dancers hop up and do The Wop. Which, of course, means she’s tuned-in as hell, at least when it comes to getting us tuned up. | 9pm. $15. Warehouse on Watts, 923 N. Watts St.

Give Back | Backpack Event for the Homeless

One kind act a month—that’s not too much to ask, right? Look, we get it. It can be frustrating to move about our fair city, only to stumble over a homeless man here, pretend not to see a homeless woman there. But the truth is, these are people. Human beings. They deserve love and compassion. Kindness. Even if it’s just a backpack full of sandwiches or some brown paper bags full of water, even if it’s a donation made beforehand because you’d rather not go, everyone deserves at least one kind act a month. | 12pm. Free. 9th and Market Streets.


Music | Polish American String Band Open House

Did you grow up watching from your couch on New Year’s Day as the Mummer’s Parade, in all its glittery, glowing, over-the-top glory strolled down Broad Street, making you laugh and cry and wonder just what the hell this whole wild thing was even about? Did you ever want desperately to be a part of that glittery, glowing, over-the-top gloryfest? Well. Now’s your chance. | 2pm. Free. Polish American String Band, 2727 E. Westmoreland St.

Music | The Wall Live Extravaganza

For a generation of music fans and teacher-haters, Pink Floyd’s “The Wall” was, well … everything. This double disc (or quadruple record) set was an impenetrable force of sound, a blissful blend of soaring vocals and iconic guitar arrangements. The Wall X is your chance to see and hear it all, like it was the very first time (Disclaimer: No orange-skinned, pussy-grabbing assholes were involved in the making of this event). | 8pm. Prices vary. The Fillmore, 29 E. Allen St.

Film | Punk Movie Night: ‘Trainspotting’

Full disclosure: we fucking love this movie. “Trainspotting” is a work of genius, owed as much to Irvine Welsh as to Danny Boyle. As much as we love it though, it didn’t quite translate when we tried to read the book. Something about all those thick Scottish accents that makes reading comprehension a bit difficult. But don’t worry about that. Just let the soothing sounds of Mark Renton’s drug withdrawal symptoms (and Iggy Pop, of course) carry you away to a blissful evening of bar fights, heroin binges and … redemption? | 7pm. Free. Century, 1350 S. 29th St.

Food & Drink | Survivor’s Brunch Buffet

See if you can follow this—Mad Rex is a restaurant. But it’s also a virtual reality lounge. With a dystopian view of the present/future. But also ribeyes and salmon filets. If you frequent Mad Rex, you’re a Survivor, which is … iffy … but cool. But that also means that the rest of the world is like, gone? Which is less cool. Either way, we love the idea and can’t wait to try the roasted red pepper sandwich. Wonder if halloumi tastes the same in virtual reality.  | 11am. Prices vary. Mad Rex Restaurant and Virtual Reality Lounge, 1000 Frankford Ave.

Comedy | Skeet Carter Presents: Alex Thomas

Alex Thomas may not be a household name, but damn, this cat’s been there and done that. His dad was in the band Earth, Wind and Fire. His first gig out of high school was working as a dance choreographer for The Fly Girls on In Living Colour. And he worked as a writer on The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air after being discovered by Will Smith in an LA comedy club. And that’s not even taking account all the shows he’s done standup on! | 830pm. $25. Punch Line Philly, 33 E. Laurel St.

Learn | EduCon 2019

Sometimes, events aren’t meant to be exciting … well, unless you consider the future of our country exciting. We consider it exciting—assuming it doesn’t all go to mindless, Make-Defense-Spending-Great-Again shit, of course. Anyway. EduCon isn’t just a conference. It’s a conversation. An attempt to innovate, to work our way forward as human beings and collaborators. And where does that start? The classroom. | 5pm. Prices vary. Science Leadership Academy, 55 N. 22nd St.

Games | Sunday Funday with YACC!

Cancer sucks. We get that that’s not really a revelatory stance or statement, but there’s really no better way to put it—cancer sucks. Hard. Even if it hasn’t affected you directly, it’s surely touched someone you know, someone you care about. And if that person needs a break, maybe something to take their mind off things, head on over to Thirsty Dice for a day of games, food and optional drinks, along with Young Adult Cancer Connection. | 1pm. Free. Thirsty Dice, 1642 Fairmount Ave.

Kid Friendly | Superhero’s Paint

Got a little superhero at home? You know the type—doesn’t wanna take a nap. Thinks baths are for buttheads (language!). Wishes broccoli tasted more like soda. You know—superheros. And does your (age 1 – 14) superhero wanna put on his or her cape and paint something awesome? Maybe a picture of themselves saving the family from a fire? Maybe the moon pooping out a cat? Of course they do. Hell, even we want to paint that. | 230pm. $18. ARTrageous Brush & Flow, 6345 Germantown Ave.


Music | King Princess

King Princess … so hot right now. Seriously though, this singer-songwriter/multi-instrumentalist/child of fame and fortune is killing it these days (thanks in no small part to .. Harry Styles?). Seriously, this isn’t meant as a knock on her at all, it’s just interesting as hell—her great-great grandparents died on the Titanic. Her dad was a recording engineer at Mission Sound in New York. And she’s dating Amandla Stenberg (this last one doesn’t really fit the narrative, we just think it’s awesome). It’s like she was made to be a musician. Born to be badass. | 8pm. $22. TLA, 334 South St.

Community | Asian American Artist Town Hall

Potlucks and performances … two of our favorite things. Seriously, if you can get a bunch of creative people into the same room, you can rest assured there’s gonna be some serious fireworks where the food/music/missives are concerned. This event is meant for any Asian-American artist with a hankerin’ for something delicious and new. Pitch ideas, get the inside scoop on new events and, most importantly, spend time talking the future of Philly over some delicious treats. | 6pm. Free. Asian Arts Initiative, 1219 Vine St.

Community | Safe Bars Philly Open House

The lead-in to the description of this event (offered by the organizers) is … “have you ever wondered what it would be like to go to a bar and not be sexually harassed?” Which is just, like, the saddest fucking thing ever. Come on, men! You’re better than this. Gillette ads may not be enough to fix this horrible problem, but maybe this event is. Safe Bars trains bars and nightclubs on how to recognize and safely respond to unwanted sexual behavior (Hint: the answer doesn’t involve your dick). | 1pm. Free. WOAR, 1617 John F. Kennedy Blvd.

21-and-over | Sensual Bachata & Fusion Bootcamp

Listen. It’s not our place to name events. And we certainly won’t judge the creative choices of a place as awesome as Sensual City. But how this is called a “Bootcamp” and not a “Bootycamp” is just beyond us. Like, it was right there. For the booty-ing. Anyway. This is actually the second installment of a four-week event aimed at creating “competent, dignified, and courteous sensual social dancers with an emphasis on connection, musicality and styling.” | 7pm. Prices vary. Address provided w/ registration.

Food & Drink | Creole Cooking Class

This whole One Book, One Philadelphia thing is amazing. Not only did it bring the stunningly talented Jesmyn Ward here for a reading and a discussion of her groundbreaking new novel, “Sing, Unburied, Sing,” but it also inspired this event—a Creole-inspired cooking class led by Chef Kurt Evans aimed at discovering and delivering the ingredients and cultural history of the people of the southern Delta. | 6pm. $20. Free Library of Philadelphia, 1901 Vine St.

Learn | Evolution of Men’s Styling

Have you ever been told that your hair isn’t on point? That your eyebrows are, well, busted? Has anyone ever looked you up and down and then in a snide tone suggested that you are most definitely not on fleek (we know we’re butchering the use of that particular colloquialism, but it’s fun anyway). If you answered yes to any of these questions, then this might not be the event for you. But if you’re committed to saving people from these heinous acts of indecency, join Kevin Luchmun & Josh DeMarco as they talk you through the dos and definitely don’ts of men’s professional grooming. | 10am. Prices vary. DAPR Grooming Parlour, 125 S. 18th Street.

Learn | Be More Productive

We’ve come to learn that, as tough and seemingly uncaring as Philly can feel, there are actually a lot of people out there who want to help you grow and better yourself. Take this event for example—it’s free. It’s led by a career coach and motivation speaker. And it’s all about planning for your own future successes. Like, they’re literally trying to give you the blueprint. All you gotta do is, well, everything else. But it starts with stuff like this. | 630pm. Free. Moonshine Philly, 1825 E. Moyamensing Ave.


Trivia | Parks and Recreation trivia

We’ve got a dirty little secret to admit. And as hard as it is to say out loud (or write in an alt-weekly), we think it’s important we share our own struggle, so that others may benefit from what we’ve discovered. Ok, here goes … we’ve watched the entirety of Parks and Rec, front to back, top to bottom, at least three times. Phew. That felt good to write. What’s that? Oh. You’ve done it too. Well then. Why don’t we join forces and use our combined useless knowledge to help save some animals? It’s what April would want. | 7pm. $8. Punch Line Philly, 33 E. Laurel St.


We’d never heard of IGLOOGHOST before, but now we can’t wait to check out this mind-bending concert/show/phantasmagoric extravaganza. Seriously, this dude is legit out of his mind … in the best way possible. Everything he writes and/or creates takes place within a fictional world called Mamu. The world has its own alphabet, animals … it’s fuckin’ wild. And maybe, possibly, the future of creative expression? We can’t say for sure, but we’re leaning “yes.” | 7pm. $14. PhilaMOCA, 531 N. 12th St.

Book Talk | ‘The Meaning of Life’

What is the meaning of life? It’s an age-old question and one that spurs people onto all sorts of strange paths. Some take it literally, seeking solidity and safety. Some take it figuratively, seeking the unknown and unknowable. Some even use the question and the lack of an answer to take advantage of others. And for some, for those awaiting the end of their life, whiling away their final hours behind the cold round bars of a cell, the question, “what is the meaning of life,” takes on a new depth (or lackthereof) entirely. | 6pm. Free. Industrious Philadelphia, 230 S. Broad St.

Learn | Philadelphia Home Buying Class

Buying a home is a tricky and far more time-consuming experience than most probably realize. And, if you’re out there saying, “Buying a home!? I can barely afford to rent the crap shack I live in now, what with stagnant employment and compensation rates coupled with ever-ballooning inflation,” know that we hear you loud and clear. Real loud, and real clear. But if you’re one of the lucky few who have the opportunity to actually purchase a piece of real estate, why not go in with your eyes open and your finger on the pulse of what really matters? | 6pm. Free. Black Sheep Pub, 247 S. 17th St.

Community | Funding the Civic Commons

Philadelphia’s on the way up. Despite all the drugs and corruption, despite the dirt and trash and depressed neighborhoods, there’s simply no disputing the fact that Philly has taken major strides in recent years. But it’s not over yet and, in truth, will be an ongoing process for, well, forever. To that end, if you’ve got a vested interest in Philly (which, you live here, of course you do) it’s probably time to join the discussion. Like this one, about potential innovative strategies for funding the “Civic Commons.” | 6pm. Free. Pipeline Philly, 30 S. 15th St.

Learn | The Wealth Creation Series

Wealth creation is a tricky subject. We all want more, of course—more money, more time, more freedom to do what we want, when we want. And wealth doesn’t mean the same thing to some as to others. But for the world (and country) we live in, it really boils down to one thing—making, and keeping, money. So if you want to learn how best to do that, about investment planning, estate planning and, above all else, financial freedom, then this just might be the event for you. | 6pm. Free. WeWork, 1601 Market St.

Learn | The Community Table

A lot of networking and self-help events can feel a bit … icky. Not that there’s anything inherently wrong with them, just that it can be tough at times to parse just who’s benefiting most from the day’s discussion. That’s why this particular event seemed to pop off the page for us. You get to eat. You get to drink. And most importantly, you get to breathe. All while meeting other like-minded people and learning exercises to help you stay present, even when the world seems to want to rip your attention away. | 6pm. $37. Old City Collective, 222b Race St.

Food & Drink | Cider Making Course

Cider doesn’t get its proper due here in America. Elsewhere, they seem to understand the beauty behind this tart mix of alcohol and acid. It’s got such potential for flavor, well beyond what most beers (that aren’t Farmhouse Ales or Saisons, which, let’s be honest, you can’t drink those all the time) could only dream of. But it’s still got a nice kick, a little shiver down your spine that says, “I’m delicious and enough of me will get you drunk.” Honestly … we think we may have just talked ourselves into taking this course. | 6:30pm. $175. Hale & True, 613 S. 7th St.


Food & Drink | Mom-Mom’s Pierogi-al School

Everything about this event speaks to our very soul. It’s at a place called Mom Mom’s Kitchen. It’s a cooking class for Polish people in a largely Polish neighborhood (so you know it’s as legit as they come). And they made a freakin’ pun in the name  – pierogi-al school. That’s so awesome. So awesome. Honestly, the pierogis don’t even have to be good for us to love this, but we’re willing to bet our potato – filled dough pockets they’re beyond delicious. | 630pm. $35. Mom Mom’s Kitchen, 2551 Orthodox St.

Food & Drink | Cocktails & Conversation at Manatawny Still Works

Join Max Pfeffer, head distiller at Manatawny Still Works, for a discussion on whiskey distilling techniques, followed by flights of that sweet, delicious brown. Then discuss other important topics of the day, like the different types of whiskey, and why whiskey is sometimes spelled without an ‘e,’ and when we can all go back to ignoring politics because the fate of the nation doesn’t hang in precarious balance every goddamn day. | 6pm. Prices vary. Manatawny Still Works, 1603 East Passyunk Ave.

Learn | Make the Right Money Moves

It’s the first month of 2019, so you know what that means! Lots of networking and self-help events. And listen, we don’t mean to be judgey or negative at all—if people are feeling hopeful, that’s always a good thing. It’s just funny (and heartwarming) to see the sudden upswing in events aimed at helping people take steps forward. To that end, if you’ve got questions about your 401k, understanding your benefits package or even what a 401k is, then this is the right time to make the right moves to this event. | 6pm. Prices vary. WeWork, 1900 Market St.

Dance | Havana Nights at 1500 Lounge

There’s so much going on here, it almost makes us want to dance the merengue. Ya know, if we knew how to dance the merengue. Which we don’t. Which is sad. But hey—new year, new us, right? And would ya look at that! This event has dance lessons. But it’s only salsa and bachata … but that’s ok! Who needs the merengue anyway. We’re gonna cut a rug like only a true bachata dancer can! Ok, now all we need to do is pull up YouTube and find out what bachata is. | 6pm. $10 1500 Lounge, 1500 Sansom St.

Music | bloom. / Stealing Oceans / Jordan DePaul + Local Support

We love it when a band defies definition. Not that they don’t have an inherent sound, a kind of calling card that they will probably always be known for (listen, even The Flaming Lips, as crazy and unique as each of their albums has been, have a “sound”). But we still like an act that doesn’t slip too easily into any one genre. That’s kind of how we feel about the duo behind bloom. They’re young and thus, still evolving, but we bet they’ve got some more goodies up their collective sleeves. | 8pm. $10. The Fire, 412 W. Girard Ave.

Community | AIGA Philly Community Meeting

The Philadelphia chapter of the American Institute of Graphic Arts has been going strong since 1981, which is really impressive since Al Gore didn’t even invent the internet until about 1983 (just kidding … sorta). Seriously though, if you’re a designer looking to meet fellow AIGA members or just hoping to find out what all this Philly designer community stuff is about, head on over to Kismet Springarts for a night of mixing, mingling and meeting. | 6pm. Free. Kismet Springarts, 448 N. 10th St.

Book Talk | Pam Jenoff: ‘The Lost Girls of Paris’

Every time a new book is born, the world grows a little brighter (except for when it’s the memoirs of a conservative policitian, espousing the years they spent fighting the good fight against equality and cultural advancement). As such, it wouldn’t really matter to us what Pam Jenoff’s newest book is about—we’d still tell you to go. It just so happens that it tells the story of a female spyring whose agents changed the course of World War II before disappearing forever. How awesome is that! | 1230pm. Free. Shakespeare & Co., 1632 Walnut St.

Music | The Lil Smokies

It’s strange, but sometimes liking a band can come down to aesthetics, plain and simple. Like, what does their poster look like? Do they sell t-shirts and post shit online that looks (and thus feels) awesome? Does their Twitter avatar speak to your tired, tormented soul? That’s kind of how we feel about The Lil Smokies. We mean … just look at that poster! That’s cool as hell. Sure, their music is a stage-shaking blend of bluegrass and rock, and we’d be into seeing them live anytime, anywhere … but that poster, man! That fuckin’ poster! | 8pm. $15. The Fillmore, 29 E. Allen St.


Fitness | Dance Your Pounds Off

First voice: “Well, we’re a little bit fitness.” Second voice: “And we’re a little bit dance event.” Both voices together: “We’re a little bit awesome stuff to do, with a whole bunch of Philly down in our …. Trent … on” You get it. Just like this event’s got a little bit of everything (and by everything we mean fitness and dance). Look, getting in shape isn’t fun. But if you made a resolution and you’re, well, resolved to stick with it, maybe try out an exercise event that’s as much fun as it is fierce. | 6pm. $20. Dance Institute of Philadelphia, 5900 Greene St.

Show | My Favorite Murder Live

For the uninitiated, My Favorite Murder is a weekly true crime comedy podcast hosted by Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark. And if you’re sitting there thinking, “true crime … comedy … podcast,” and struggling to make sense of that string of words … just stop, ok? Just. Stop. Don’t try to make sense of it. Don’t try to understand why we obsess over death (it’s coming, people), or why anyone would pay to go see the live recording of a podcast (just kidding). It’s awesome. It’s dark. It’s hilarious. That’s all you need to know. (Disclaimer: There will be no murders at this event) | 8pm. Prices vary. The Met Philly, 858 N. Broad St.

Community | Death Cafe

Morbid as it may seem, death is an oftentimes important topic of conversation. Seriously, it might be a cliche, but the only certain thing in life is, well, death. And with that inevitability staring us all in the face (or, more likely, locked in a tiny little box in the back of our brains only to be opened at the most inopportune times, usually when we’re trying to fall asleep), that means it’s something we probably shouldn’t shy away from. And what better place to discuss death and all it entails (or doesn’t entail) than a cemetery? | 6pm. Accepts donations. Laurel Hill Cemetery, 3822 Ridge Ave.

Learn | Philly to Palestine: A Public Debriefing

Philly and Palestine have been connected in recent months, and, as is usually the case when a subject as sensitive as Palestine is brought up, it wasn’t cast in the most positive light possible. That being said, it’s an important topic of discussion and even more important that those without opinions come to understand the conflict over culture and homeland. And who better to debrief the public than a group of students and educators who recently spent time touring the area? | 7pm. Free. Uncle Bobbie’s Coffee & Books, 5445 Germantown Ave.

Music | Stranger Tings ft. Fenx

You read that right. Stranger Tings, not Stranger Things. We won’t blame you for thinking there was a typo but just know that we’re on our shit at all times and anyone who suggests otherwise is a rat ba—oh, I’m being told by my editor that is not, in fact, the case and you can question whatever you want, you beautiful, beautiful people. Anywho. If you’re feeling dubby/riddumy/wubby tings and you’re cool with being in the dark (literally and figuratively—you won’t know the actual location until you RSVP), then this is the dubstep event for you. | 9pm. Free. Secret Warehouse Location TBA.

Music | Rainbow Kitten Surprise w/ Mt. Joy

Quick … what’s the coolest band name out there right now? No peeking, just come right out with it. First one off the top of your head. The Flaming Lips? Godspeed You! Black Emperor? We’re going on record right now that Rainbow Kitten Surprise is up there with the best. And it’s made all the better by the fact that their music is fuckin’ great. Seriously. Go listen to the song “Fever Pitch,” then come back and get your tickets for this show. No, no … no need to thank us. Just enjoy yourself. That’s all the thanks we need. | 8pm. $32.50. The Fillmore, 29 E. Allen St.

Comedy | Bruce Bruce

If you didn’t know anything about Bruce Bruce, and you just happened to look at that picture, you’d know already that that’s one funny man. He’s just got the look of a guy with pure hilarity running through his veins. Plus, his name is Bruce Bruce—you don’t call yourself Bruce Bruce unless you’re trying to get some laughs. And that’s not meant as a knock at all. Just another nod to the fact that the man with the big personality and the dazzling comedy chops knows exactly what he’s doing. | 8pm. $30. Punch Line Philly, 33 E. Laurel St.

Adults-Only | Fifty Shades Male Revue

To our great chagrin, we never saw “Magic Mike.” We never saw “Fifty Shades of Grey.” Heck, we didn’t even watch “The Full Monty,” even though everyone kept saying how hilarious Mark Addy was in it (just kidding). But what we did do is watch the episode of The Office where Dwight and Angela are finally about to get married and Meredith’s son shows up as the stripper for the bachelorette party. And wow … the sexual tension in that room. You could’ve cut it with a scimitar. You know, the one Dwight definitely keeps in the trunk of his car (that never happened in the show, but it totally tracks, right?). | 8pm. $25. Gardendale Social Club, 888 Spring Garden St.