FRIDAY, DECEMBER 20
The Ugly Sweater Party
We know we’ve thrown quite a few parties like this your way, but trust is – this is THE one to be at. Grab a sweater from a thrift store or from your grandparents’ closet and show it off to the ladies all night. | 10 pm. $5-$7. The Barbary, 951 Frankford Ave. facebook.com
A Charlie Brown Christmas
It’s impossible to not fall in love with this holiday tradition. Bring the whole family to this heartwarming play that will teach you the real meaning of the holiday season. It’ll never get old. | 7 pm. $33-$103. Merriam Theater, 250 S. Broad St. kimmelcenter.org
Go Go Gadjet Holiday Party
You won’t hear any traditional Christmas bangers here. This is strictly a funk EDM party led by a local group that knows what the hell they’re talking about. Don’t be afraid to go a little over the top – this is their thing. | 9 pm. Free. Field House, 1150 Filbert St. eventbrite.com
Daughters
We promise this band will always make you proud. They strive for something different with every record. In their newest release, “You Won’t Get What You Want,” you can expect to hear a band that knows exactly what they fucking want. | 8:30 pm. $25. Union Transfer, 1026 Spring Garden St. utphilly.com
Mindfulness at the Museum
It’s about time we center ourselves amid all this holiday stress. Stop by for some meditation where you’ll sit in silence with others and reflect on the experience after. This is great for getting you into the mindset to try the same at home – if you could get everybody else to be quiet for a few minutes. | Noon. Free. Institute of Contemporary Art, 118 S. 36th St. eventbrite.com
HAUS Gives Back
All the club kids will be coming out around Christmas time to hit up this charity party. Proceeds raised will be given to Morris Home, a local organization that supports trans and nonbinary people in living safe lives. | 9 pm. $5. Tabu, 254 S. 12th St. facebook.com
I’ll Have What She’s Having
This improv comedy team reimagines blockbusters in their own unique perspectives with an all-female cast. Get in on all the action with their recreation of “Die Hard,” an action movie we all know and love a little too much. | 8 pm. $20. CSz Philadelphia, 2030 Sansom St. eventbrite.com
The Longest Night
The holidays are the best time of the year for some, and the most difficult for many others. This gathering hosted by the city Office of Public Engagement will acknowledge those who may feel stressed or left out during the season. | 8 pm. Free. City Hall, 1400 John F. Kennedy Blvd. secure.everyaction.com
SATURDAY, DECEMBER 21
The Starting Line
We weren’t sure if we’d ever see these guys again. These Philly-based pop-punks are back on the road, courtesy of their “Est. 1999” tour. They haven’t released anything since 2012, so you’ll probably get treated to a slew of new material…assuming there’s new music coming down the road. Just hang in there; your patience will get you past the finish line. | 8:30 pm. $32.50. Franklin Music Hall, 421 N. 7th St. bowerypresents.com
Ruffhouse PHL: Long Jawn
Baby, it’s cold outside. Bundle up in your warmest undergarments for this annual party with DJ Phillip Kimball. Don’t worry, you’ll still get your chance to show off your sexy and take it all off. A hoe never gets cold. | 10 pm. $5-$10. The Bike Stop, 204 S. Quince St. facebook.com
Man Overboard
Pop-punks follow holiday traditions, too. The band has been playing this Lost Tape Holiday show since 2014. Come celebrate the season with them and hear some never-released tracks. | 8 pm. $25. First Unitarian Church, 2125 Chestnut St. eventbrite.com
The Front Bottoms: Champagne Jam
These guys are bringing their annual holiday show to Philly from Asbury Park. Several musicians and comedians – including Mannequin Pussy and Chris Gethard – will perform across three stages at three venues. Pretty epic glow-up. | 6 pm. $40-$45. The Fillmore, 29 E. Allen St. thefillmorephilly.com
The Nightmare Before Christmas Dance Party
Christmas doesn’t always have to be all red, green and tinsel. Halloween will creep its way into the holiday season at this dark dance party. Gift and coal receivers rejoice here, where all are welcome, regardless of whether they’ve been naughty or nice. | 10 pm. $10. Ruba Club, 416 Green St. facebook.com
A Very Mary Christmas
Local drag queen Mimi Imfurst will take the crowd back to Bethlehem for the birth of Jesus. You may think it will be religious, but it’ll be a raunchy, Vegas-style rendition of the miracle. We have a feeling this Mary isn’t actually a virgin. | 7:30 pm. $15-$25. Franky Bradley’s, 1320 Chancellor St. eventbrite.com
Holiday Punk Rock Flea Market
It’s always the right occasion to do a little shopping around. Especially if you have access to a goldmine of old punk goods and oddities. It always feels like Christmas when you find the perfect things you never knew you needed. | 10 am. $5. 23rd Street Armory, 22 S. 23rd St. facebook.com
Star Wars Christmas Craft Bazaar
“Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker” just premiered yesterday. Your nerdy fan tendencies have probably been reignited by now if you went to see the movie. Load up on some unique Star Wars gear here. | 9 am. Free. Buzz Cafe Philly, 1800 N. Howard St. facebook.com
SUNDAY, DECEMBER 22
Drag Queen Story Time
Drag queens are definitely some of the most talented performers ever. Spice up your afternoon with a colorful reading of children’s books from local queen Maria TopCatt. Kids will also get the chance to work a runway and lip-sync to their favorite songs. | 3 pm. Free. Craft Hall, 901 N. Delaware Ave. facebook.com
Festivus
This party will stick to the strict traditions of the fictional “Seinfeld” holiday. Show off your strength in the most ridiculous way possible, whether it’s arm wrestling or balancing a stool on your chin. Air your grievances on the open mic – just try not to yell too loudly. | 4 pm. Free. The Grey Lodge Pub, 6235 Frankford Ave. facebook.com
ETC: Holiday Rave
Trip out at this party that will have you seeing some crazy visuals. Open up that third eye with killer performances by Jayo, Dave Tidey and Shearn. No drugs here – just a genuine good time that will have you transcending to another universe. | 10 pm. $10. The Boom Room, 1300 N. Front St. eventbrite.com
PJ Morton
Being extremely musically talented runs in the family for Morton – his father, Bishop Paul S. Morton, is a famous gospel singer. He’s a member of Maroon 5, but he’s always creating successful solo projects. | 8 pm. $25. Theatre of Living Arts, 334 South St. venue.tlaphilly.com
Just Mike, the Poet: Word Play
Life could always stand to get a little spiced up with some wordplay – especially from this guy. Aside from having us cracking up, Mike will be collecting toys for the children of gun violence victims. What a stand up guy. | 8 pm. $10. Punch Line Philly, 33 E. Laurel St. facebook.com
Chanukah on the Avenue
Light up the first night of Chanukah at this community-wide celebration. The whole avenue will be shining bright with candles and tons of festive treats and traditions. | 5 pm. Free. The Singing Fountain, Tasker St. and E. Passyunk Ave. facebook.com
Christmas for the Homeless
Many get caught up in selfish feelings during the holiday season, but the focus should really be on giving rather than receiving. Give back to the community by providing meals and gifts to people in Kensington who don’t have a warm home to go to for the holidays. | 9 am. Free. Lowe’s, 3800 Aramingo Ave. facebook.com
Al Zamora Toy Drive
This show featuring several local talented musicians will benefit the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia. Support the hustles of Philly artists and life savers. | 6 pm. $10. Warehouse on Watts, 923 N. Watts St. wowphilly.com
MONDAY, DECEMBER 23
Queen of the Night
This mock pageant crams everything you love about pageants into a digestible show. Watch gifted queens show off their best talents and be put to the test through several challenges. “Geriatric gem” Dominic Lee will be the host for the evening. | 8 pm. $5. Bob & Barbara’s Lounge, 1509 South St. facebook.com
One-Man Nutcracker
You know the “Nutcracker” ballet that’s comprised of about 1,000 dancers? Well, Chris Davis is here to assume all the roles by himself. We have no damn clue how he does it all, but prepare to be astounded. | 2 pm. $25. Plays and Players Theater, 1714 Delancey St. onemannutcracker.brownpapertickets.com
2 Tired 2 Christmas
Secret Pants – a local sketch comedy group – is sadly hosting its last variety Christmas show ever. Help wrap up its historic 10-year run by showing up for this hilarious crop of comedians. | 8 pm. $10. Johnny Brenda’s, 1201 N. Frankford Ave. eventbrite.com
The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Experience
It’s just about the end of the year, but we can pretend that it’s also the end of the world. This interactive survival simulation will have you jumping from a train car, picking locks and diving deep into a ball pit. It’s probably a lot more fun than the actual end of days might be. | 9:30 am. $19-$23. The Franklin Institute, 222 N. 20th St. fi.edu
Winter Break Skateboard Camp
Keep the kids busy while they’re home for the holidays. Put them in this program where they’ll learn to shred like the pros. Best of luck trying to get them to put the boards down once they go back to school. | 9 am. $100. Skate the Foundry, 849 N. 40th St. skatethefoundry.com
Tigerbeats
This weekly staple of live music and DJs is celebrating its 10th anniversary. Thanks to them, Mondays in Philly don’t completely suck. You better come pay your respects and keep the dancing going every week. | 10 pm. Free. The Barbary, 951 Frankford Ave. facebook.com
It’s a Very Aktive Christmas
NJ-based label Aktive Records is hosting this show featuring some of its finest talent, like Lil Benzy and Tony De Shayes. All ticket proceeds go toward the record label’s efforts in homeless outreach. | 7 pm. $10. Voltage Lounge, 421 N. 7th St. voltagelounge.com
Open Mic Mondays
As someone with talent, you may be wondering when and if it will get discovered. Your friends may know you’re talented, but you have to share those gifts with the world to get them to hear you. Come out to this open mic to catch everybody’s attention. | 8 pm. Free. The Victoria Freehouse, 10 S. Front St. facebook.com
TUESDAY, DECEMBER 24
The Original Songwriter’s Open Mic
The emphasis here is on original music created by the performers. Get up there and low the crowd away. Any talent is welcome, but just remember this crowd is ready to hear your organic lyrics and sounds. | 8 pm. Free. SawTown Tavern, 4717 Princeton Ave. facebook.com
One Crazy Night
You already know what you’re in for. This is apparently where all the Jews will be on Christmas Eve. Festive donuts, candle lightings and Jewish musicians will all help elevate this party to the next level. | 9 pm. $10. Fringe Arts, 140 N. Columbus Blvd. tfaforms.com
Matzah Bash
Ball out at the “biggest Xmas Eve party in Philly.” This is the perfect party to let loose and prepare yourself for the craziness that will inevitably ensue tomorrow. | 10 pm. $10. NOTO, 1209 Vine St. eventbrite.com
Tuesday Night Hang Out
Club going up on a Tuesday. Come meet some new friends and score cheap deals on drinks. There’s no reason for your night to be lame if you have somewhere you can go like this. | 10 pm. Free. Saint Lazarus Bar, 102 W. Girard Ave. facebook.com
The Nutcracker
Make a tradition out of going to the ballet for the holidays. You’ll never really see a performance as beautifully choreographed as this one. There’s a reason why it’s stuck around for so many years. | Noon. $45-$169. The Academy of Music, 240 S. Broad St. paballet.org
Christmas Eve Celebration
Secure your spot at one of the biggest holiday parties in the city. It’s too late to get on the naughty list by now, so don’t hold back. Just make sure you don’t get too hungover. | 9 pm. $10. Bleu Martini, 24 S. 2nd St. eventbrite.com
WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 25
Christmas Day Skate Party
Santa can finally take a load off after such a busy season. Skate around with him after you’ve opened all your presents. You have to see him one last time before he retires to the North Pole until next year. | 6 pm. $3. Rolling Thunder Skating Rink, 7017 E. Roosevelt Blvd. facebook.com
Jungle Bells
We’re over this bitter cold weather. Let’s transport ourselves to humid jungles in primitive lands. Powerful drums and bass provided by tri-state area musicians will fulfill all your jungle fantasies. | 9 pm. $14. Warehouse on Watts, 923 N. Watts St. wowphilly.com
Being __ at Christmas
Reflect on how you feel this holiday with your family. It doesn’t matter what gifts you receive or that you buy for others – all that matters is that you are living your life. | 10 am. $15. National Museum of American Jewish History, 101 S. Independence Mall E. info.nmajh.org
Phestivus
Camp Phuckit – an easy-going camp of artistic folks, will be hosting this party right after the holiday. After your family dinner, come party with another tight-knit family. | 9 pm. Free. Saint Lazarus Bar, 102 W. Girard Ave. facebook.com
Open Jam
Give the gift of your talent this Christmas. Bring whatever you have to show off to this hangout spot and let it all out. It’ll be like being with family. | 7:30 pm. Free. The Grape Room, 105 Grape St. facebook.com
Tunes, Tacos, Tequila
Unfortunately, it’s fucking freezing here. Go away on a tropical paradise in Mexico with the three magic Ts. We’re going with you. | 8 pm. Free. Hi Vi Lounge, 5744 Market St. facebook.com
THURSDAY, DECEMBER 26
Creation Station
Do you have a budding engineer at home? Bring them to this interactive event where they can build anything their hearts desire. Knowing how to use your hands will always be more valuable than knowing how to use an iPad. | 10 am. $19-$23. The Franklin Institute, 222 N. 20th St. fi.edu
Grin and Beer It
Turn that frown upside down that this comedy show bound to be entertaining. Jessa Reed, Sam Ike and Jamie Wolf will be your hilarious hosts. You won’t have to fake a smile here. | 9 pm. $5. Earth Bread and Brewery, 7136 Germantown Ave. facebook.com
Musiq Soulchild
Musicians like Musiq make the whole Philly music scene proud. He’s helping to keep truly soulful R&B on the map. With nine Grammy nominations, we’d say he’s doing a pretty damn good job at that. | 6 pm. $64-$84. City Winery, 990 Filbert St. citywinery.com
The Great Continental Regift Exchange
Not happy with the gifts you got yesterday? It’s pretty savage, but you could trade them for somebody else’s. At least you won’t be wasting anything. | 6 pm. Free. The Continental, 1801 Chestnut St. facebook.com
Jimmy All the Way
Shit’s about to get ridiculous. Game Changer Wrestling presents yet another insane production featuring Philly’s own Jimmy Lloyd. It’s times like these that remind us why this is the most wonderful time of the year. | 8 pm. $25-$45. Voltage Lounge, 421 N. 7th St. eventbrite.com
Come Together: Tribute Performance to Abbey Road
A whole crew of local musicians have joined to perform the iconic Beatles album live – a feat that The Beatles apparently couldn’t even do. Celebrate the 50th anniversary of the record’s release with a stellar show. | 8 pm. $20. World Cafe Live, 3025 Walnut St. worldcafelive.com
Lil Baby
This young rapper got his start in Atlanta with the likes of Young Thug and Coach K. He was way too talented to be committing petty crimes in the streets, and we’re so damn happy he’s been recognized and able to get his music out into the world. | 8 pm. $70-$80. The Fillmore, 29 E. Allen St. thefillmorephilly.com
Boxing Day
Get the party started early the day after Christmas. Try out the best selected seasonal beers this taproom has in store. It’s the perfect way to warm up and chill out after a crazy holiday. | 11 am. Free. Memphis Taproom, 2331 E. Cumberland St. facebook.com
