Weeks Worst

Week’s Worst: Duncan Sheik / The Watson Twins

No matter how expensive the tools on your workbench, it doesn’t make you a mechanic. By the same token, the Watson Twins and Duncan Sheik may be talented musicians but they’re hardly artists. Both have displayed a load of promise without ever elevating their craft.

READ MORE

Week’s Worst: Thirty Seconds to Mars / Further Seems Forever

Call it 30 Seconds Seems Forever since that’s the listening experience. It’s Barney for rockers—the most sentimental, formulaic overproduced crap since Bennifer made Gigli.

READ MORE

Week’s Worst: Dan Deacon + Lightning Bolt

Why, I often ask myself, do today’s youth prefer such hyper music? After my two minutes of work each week, I prefer a Bach violin concerto. Given the warp-speed pace of postmodern living, you’d expect our overstimulated youngsters to seek solace in more contemplative entertainment. The fact that Dan Deacon is constantly referred to as a “Wham City weirdo” is enough to keep me away from tonight’s concert.

READ MORE

Week’s Worst: Beach House

Indie kids harbor this delusion that their shit don’t stink, but champion as many steaming loafs as punks and hard rockers.

READ MORE

Week’s Worst: Escape the Fate

Escape the Fate were never very good, but their Geffen debut’s an epic Cleveland Steamer.

READ MORE

Week’s Worst: Best Coast

Listening to Best Coast is risky because the music will turn your brain to shit and then your shit-brains will clog your ears.

READ MORE

Week’s Worst: Ingram Hill

Ingram Hill hails from the vast bombed-out center of American culture, the creative wasteland where Hiltons and Kardashians run wild, vampires are more ubiquitous than Starbucks, and Crocs are the height of fashion.

READ MORE

Week’s Worst: Blue Man Group

When does a gimmick officially run out of steam? After the five millionth Intel commerical? Twentieth million? At some point Blue Man Group became as overexposed as Britney’s bare bush (with which they share a passing resemblance).

READ MORE

Week’s Worst: Better Than Ezra

The most insidious thing about Better Than Ezra is their innocuousness: They possess a bland regularity to rival institutional food.

READ MORE

Week’s Worst: Twiztid

What’s more terrifying than the possibility of a Tea Party Movement revolution? The fucking Juggalos.

READ MORE